Learning and understanding

I didn’t update because there’s not much that one can say except “unhappy tummy” I did  call the radiation oncologist to report, and they’re adjusting my medication to include something that should help things settle.  I’m annoyed now, because I am finally  hungry but eating is uncomfortable and leads to nausea.  I’m trying to figure out what to eat, and not getting particularly good results.  I’m even drinking the dreadful nutritional supplements just to get nutrients into me.  Jerry, tiny monster, has been settled on my lap most of the time, making attempts to steal the toast or my drink, and barking at the various phone calls that I made today to talk to the medical team.  He’s got this new thing, where if I say, “I’m going to hug Don,” he races from wherever he is to jump on Don and push me away.  It’s hilarious and annoying in equal amounts… we’ve tested out his reaction, and when I say “hug” he runs over to Don and prepares to repel me! I’ve...

It’s been snowing all day again today.  We’re apparently trying hard to catch up with the month’s average snowfall — we’ve received less than a third of the usual, and as one perky meteorologist said, “January isn’t over yet, so we still can reduce the deficit!”  😝  My tummy is still somewhat unsettled, although improved a bit over yesterday.  I made a scrambled egg and toast for breakfast (my REFIR always laughs at me when I say that, because I cook 1 egg and 1 slice of bread, and she insists that’s “not a full meal” but I’ve done that for years) and I struggled to eat it.  Later, I did some wontons and ate 4, which was again a challenge.  I don’t like feeling like this, because I’m actually hungry  but I feel stuffed after a couple of bites.  The boys are watching football (American) to see who qualifies for the championship.  Jerry, like me, is not especially interested, and has been leaping around with his squeaky toy wanting it thrown; ...

😞 Radiation is catching up with me.  I’ve had an unhappy tummy for a couple of days now, and I’ve been popping my anti-emetics like Skittles, or at least, I’ve been taking them every 4 hours, which is about the same thing.  I have been trying to eat, which is a little more challenging, since my system seems to want to work in reverse… not fun.  It’s making me irritable, since I also feel weak and I want  to eat.  Jerry has been cuddling me all day — literally.  He slept under my arm against my side all night, and since I’ve been up has been on my lap most of the time.  Don is good, and is now being pounced on by Jerry who wants to play… I’ll just note that I’m a tiny bit cranky, so if I’m not my usual self, that’s why.  My sister tells met that it’s wrong of me to judge, and I try, but still… this is in regard to handicapped parking stickers.  They’re issued for those who have difficulty walking, and therefore get to use spots near the entra...

It snowed for almost 24 hours and we woke up to this on the balcony.  It’s deep enough that Jerry was buried up to his tummy (I was laughing too hard to take photos) and he had lots of fun racing from one end to another after he’d managed to tamp it down.  He was jumping and chasing snowflakes but he was getting cold quickly.  It’s been hovering below -10 so he is challenged to want to be out and play and inside and warm.  He still won’t wear his boots or coat, so his outdoor winter time is limited.  Don is fine, he was up late last night (sports) so he was sleeping later this morning.  I took some time today to do laundry. It’s frustrating to me how exhausting it is to do that.  I’ve needed to sit and recover several times as I did it.  I do have someone who normally helps out with that, but she’s been unavailable for a bit, and I was getting to the point of not having any clean clothes, so a little extra effort today.  I may need some extra...

We’re having a snow storm today.  The snow started around noon, and has continued falling; the forecast calls for it to end maybe tomorrow evening.  Jerry didn’t like the cold — we were at -10C feeling like -18 with strong wind.  He’s right now chasing his toy around the room, pausing to scratch me to throw it for him.  Don is napping on the sofa, so I’m up for throwing things.  It’s so amusing watching him scampering around and pouncing on his toy, then bringing it over to me.  I’m in a strange mood today.  I feel tired, and I’d like to sleep, but I want to do several things and I have no energy for it.  It’s frustrating, and I’m angry with myself for not being able to be productive.  I’ve got to do some things tomorrow that I’d put off from today, although it just means more to do in less time. I have a question for beauty companies… if you really want us to believe that your anti-aging products work, why are you using teenage models? ...

I had another doctor’s appointment this morning; the last for the week.  It wasn’t as early as the others, so I slept more comfortably— I actually fell asleep around 8:30 last night, and managed to get a solid 8 hours, which is just amazing.  Jerry tucked me in early, climbed on my tummy, stretched out and had a good sleep… Don also enjoyed not having to be up and out before the sun, so it was nice having a later start.  I’m resting up this evening, because tiredness just sort of creeps up on me.  I know that tiredness is an effect of radiation treatment, and it will be less than great for a few days, and then will improve.  I’m in the first part, and the boys seem to realize that I’m not too energetic, so they don’t press me too hard.  My nurse dropped by today to check on me and bring me a biryani for lunch (it’ll be about 3 days’ food) which was so kind of him.  The only really negative and mildly worrisome thing is that I’ve lost more weight. ...

Waking up at 5am is not something that I find encouraging.  I slept poorly because I kept waking up, afraid that I’d slept through my alarm, until I actually  slept through the alarm.  🫢  The boys were up early too, and we were all in the hospital before the sun came up.  These are the days when the nights are gradually getting shorter, but it’s still late sunrises and early sunsets.  Jerry met the new neighbour today, and was being super charming.  She greeted him with, “So it’s you that I heard barking!” I felt dreadful, and apologized for him, then he spent most of the day growling and barking whenever he heard people walking up and down the fire escape stairs.  Don managed to nap after we got home, so he’s rested up in time for tonight’s sports games on TV. It’s the time of year when my mailbox is stuffed with appeals from charities all wanting a share of my income.  There are so many hundreds, even thousands of charities, all of which a...

Happy New Year of the Rabbit.  I wish you all long life, prosperity, love and luck.   A group of 10 of us headed out for dim sum, as is traditional.  It snowed a little (apparently also traditional, 😂, as when I looked back on previous outings we were snowed on!) We were happily seated in a corner of a fairly busy (not like in the before times) restaurant, served a selection of absolutely delicious, piping hot food.  It was lovely to see that group, a mixture of old and new friends, with very lively conversations and lots of laughs (there were some periods of silence, always a sign that the food is excellent.). Jerry objected strenuously to my departure; he growled and generally expressed his displeasure.  He jumped on Don and pushed me away when I went to hug Don before I left.  The boys were happily curled up watching sports until I got back home.  I don’t think that I’ll eat before tomorrow… dim sum is amazingly filling!  And everyone went hom...

I fell asleep very early last night, which helped a little as I needed to be up by 5 this morning.  I’m thankful that my side effects are limited to feeling tired and not hungry, which isn’t a change from before, really.  Jerry is hyper affectionate today, because my support worker (who he really  loves!) was here and he got cuddles.  After she left he moved on my lap and spent most of the afternoon there.  He’s now curled up on Don, keeping me away.  He’s got a mean streak, and wants all the attention and all the love but from who he chooses and when.  Silly pup. Don and I were talking this morning about teachers, and the effect that they have on their students.  I mentioned my high school history teacher, who was really my worst experience.  In fact, as I’ve said in an earlier post , history was the only subject that I’ve ever failed and the result of interacting with her was a strong dislike of history.  Don talked about a high schoo...

This is what is looked like at 7am today.  That’s just demonic.  Still dark, no sign of “rosy-fingered dawn” or even “the first blush of dawn,” definitely not “bright” but early!  But we had an appointment at 7:30, which is why we were out in the midnight mirk!  Jerry rode on my lap in both directions, and complained when we got home and I went back to sleep — and locked him out of the bedroom so I could rest.  Then when my support worker arrived, he was leaping on her, to the point that he started to cry when she left.  I’m pretending to sulk at him for that, not very effectively.  He just ignores me and nibbles on my elbow.  Don also caught up on some sleep after I dragged him out as the driver.  When we woke up after noon, I had enough energy to cook some chicken and rice, which will make several days’ meals.  I’m very proud that I had that burst of energy, so at least there’s stuff in the fridge for a bit. We just had a fun family vi...

I started my ninth round of radiation therapy today; I’ve suggested to my radiation oncologist that I should get at least a gold star for my frequent treatments, if I can’t get a superpower.  He agrees that I do. Jerry enjoyed his ride to the hospital, and climbed into my lap for cuddles on the way home.  He’s spent most of the time since we got home on my lap and chewing on his toy.  He’s just moved over to harass Don and lie on his shoulder until the hockey game starts.  We’ve got an appointment at 7:30am tomorrow, which means a very early start.  Early start = early night.  We’re being careful but optimistic that I won’t have too many bad side effects, so I’m on a regime of anti-emetics (prevent vomiting) and fingers crossed that it’s all that happens.  I’ve got a dietician on standby, plus a few nurses so I’ll be carefully monitored as we do these treatments. It’s a big week this week… tomorrow, my baby niece is celebrating her fourth birthday. ...

My late Saturday night is catching up with me… I have been struggling to stay awake all day, made more challenging by the revolving door of appointments today — as one provider left, the next one was ringing up for access.  Jerry, as you might imagine, was less than impressed with this parade of strangers in his  house attending to me.  The poor baby had to wear his collar — which he detests — because otherwise he’d be barking endlessly and loudly.  Don was likewise less than thrilled, as every time one of the nurses/other caregivers shows up, he’s banished to his “man cave” with Jerry until they leave.  I can’t have Jerry running around as there’s a warning about pets when the caregivers are in the home, so the boys are banished for short periods.  When I woke this morning, I forced myself up so I’d be upright when the first one arrived at 9:30; I just wanted to stay asleep… and all  of them were anywhere from 15-30 minutes early!  After the last...

I was out last night, having an absolute blast.  My intention, as with all of them, was that I would go and celebrate with a friend, spend a few hours and be back home early.  But things don’t run on a timetable, and I was having fun, so suddenly my back was sending flares, my stomach went into spasms, and it was almost midnight.  Cinderella and I were twins leaving the ball 😂  Jerry was not at all pleased with my departure, and ignored my return,  but raced me to bed and slept on my tummy.  (He slept; I was in pain and didn’t) and today he’s been within a few inches of me all day.  Don tracked me over and back, because he was a bit concerned about the roads, but he wasn’t going with me.  He knew when I got back to the garage, and had a cup of tea ready for me when I got in.  I had a very slow day, not least because I was so full from dinner that I didn’t eat until late afternoon.  It being a football day, I really didn’t have to focus ...

I should have posted this picture earlier this week to celebrate Jerry’s anniversary.  Here he is, 8 weeks old, sitting in my (now sadly broken) cup.  (He didn’t break it, it slipped from me while I was unpacking the dishwasher.). I found this today and it was so cute seeing that tiny face again.  He’s back on my toes warming them, and counting the moments until he needs to play.  Don has been busy on the phone handling all sorts of chores, and is now having a nap before the hockey starts.  I’m sure that the little bunny will get up and bounce around soon for attention.  It’s been snowing almost non-stop since last night, and it’s piling up quite a bit. Today is 24 years since I’ve landed in Canada.  The history of my arrival is documented in other blogs, so I won’t retell it here.  I’m grateful to be celebrating this milestone here, and I’m about to start planning my Silver Anniversary… of course, the risk of crushing snowstorms might alter the p...

I saw this cartoon today, and just had  to share it.  Part of me thinks that it would be a great idea, if I could clone myself, transfer all my memories and just do twice as much stuff.  One of me would work, one would travel, one would do… I’m not exactly sure, but if all the clones could share memories and experiences, I could theoretically be everywhere all at once, seeing and learning things.  No, that’s not being a god, it’s just expanding my experiences.  And if one clone is damaged or destroyed (dies) the others would all have her memories, so the sum of knowledge would not decrease.  I’m sure that there are limitations to this idea, which I’m happily overlooking as I fantasize about a cohort of me!  Discuss among yourselves why this is such an amazing idea and why I’m the person to do this.  😝.  I woke up very late this morning — apparently, a series of early mornings and difficulty falling asleep leave me exhausted and sluggish. ...

Seven years ago, Jerry joined our family, a tiny, feisty, teacup sized puppy.  You know what this tiny dictator means to us, and how much of our day is taken up by him.  He’s right now on my feet as I type; he was on my lap until a few minutes ago, just snuggling.  This morning I woke up early because my support worker was due for 8am as there was a scheduled water outage starting at 9, so she wanted to get me sorted before the water got cut.  Jerry did not approve of the early eviction from bed, but he was super excited when he saw my worker.  I was out for part of the day, while the boys were home.  I got home to find them curled into a pile, ignoring the sounds of me entering the apartment!  They’re both playing on the couch; Jerry is trying to get Don to throw his toy, while Don is trying to watch hockey. 😆  I had a lovely outing to the mall today; I rather enjoyed being out and looking around.  I may have found a henna tattoo artist, bu...

  We had a very early start this morning.  I was up at 5:30, as we had an appointment at the hospital for shortly after 7:00.  Jerry didn’t like being woken up at that hour, and stretched himself out, paws in the air, for extra petting and cuddles.  When I got up and got started, he picked up his toy and walked behind me, whining.  He went to Don for more petting, found that that didn’t work, and went for his harness.  He enjoyed his car ride and his time running around in the deep snow.  Don felt good; he got up early, drove me to my appointment, and then slept for a large part of the afternoon.  I should have, but I was wide awake… I’m planning an early night and hopefully lots of sleep! Isn’t it an awesome feeling to get lost in a book?  I took a (print) book with me to read while I waited and I’m glad that I did.  Although there were several interruptions, I was happily lost for several minutes while everything else went on around me...

Hello Monday.  I am not susceptible to the Monday blues, and honestly, most days I need to check my phone to know when in the week it is.  Jerry, though, seems to have a routine… on Mondays, I’m usually visited by my nurse, and he seems to know that someone is likely to invade his space, so he gets up early and patrols actively.  Today he seemed extra vigilant… and then I got a text message from one of my neighbours apologizing for setting off my fur-alarm because he was getting his exercise by walking the stairs… Today we had a situation… this afternoon, we were in the living room, and I suddenly felt like I was boiling ; it was so hot that I opened the door and stood on the balcony for a minute (it was -6C outside)  I said to Don that I was melting; he said that he was freezing, and had to turn on a space heater plus the heating inside.  The problem was that the heater was pointed straight at me, not him, and he also had a fan blowing on him so I was slowly co...