Concilio et Labore

I spent today mostly asleep.  I had a wonderful visit this morning from my lay minister, who brought me communion.  It was an admitted struggle to be alert for 9:30 because my body just wanted to stay curled up in my bed and my pillow forts.  But I made it, and then when he left shortly after 10, I headed back to bed.  I contended with the question of whether to set an alarm for 11 (and my medication dose) or 12 (scheduled arrival of the nurse) and the nurse won.  However, I slept determinedly through all of my alarms, waking at 12:45 to a call asking for the nurse to be rescheduled to tomorrow, followed by a package delivery (Amazon has some benefits, apart from its appalling workers’ rights problems) and a friend checking up on me.  I got up long enough to eat, take my meds and then go right back to sleep.  My otherwise uneventful day continued with the delivery of my shower chair (O joy!  O happiness! I can shower!) and several more hours of sleep and cuddling with Jerry, who is still super protective!  Here he is, keeping me under surveillance and safeguarding his cushion.  Don is making sure that I don’t fall asleep in my chair, although I may wind up with a heart attack from being jolted into full awareness any time he thinks I’ve dozed off! I argue that it’s the same as when he’s “watching” sports with his eyes shut, but there’s apparently a “difference” — whatever.  

I received a number of lovely emails with photos of gardens and flowers and a couple of babies — I’m still very happy to see how everyone is growing up as time passes.  Thank you all for these charming reminders of the goodness of life.  Again, I remind you of my non-Carnival affiliation when I quote the lyrics of The Happiest Man Alive:

Happiness is the measure of success  

But I don't got no time for no worries 

I don't got no time for no stressin

I don’t have time for stress or worries.  I’m just going to repeat that a few times!  Masterful lyrics there 😊  I explained in one of my earlier blogs that I make a conscious decision to opt for positivity.  It doesn’t mean that I am ignorant of reality, nor that I overlook the horrors of the world — they are real, they are dreadful and they are ever present! — but I seek out the light whenever I can.  As I noted, it’s not always easy, but it is — to me, at least — the better path.  I don’t gain anything, really, by wallowing in misery for a long time.  I set myself a target to find something good, and then to change my attitude. 

Today, thankfully, was one of those days when I didn’t need much time to endure darkness.  There are days like that, as you’ve seen; my aim is to take those days and use them to find a route back to light and joy, or at least to find a guiding star.  I recognize that there is a level of privilege that goes with this, because in any day there is a measure of sadness that touches every life, and some have more than is fair or just.  I did ask why people thought it necessary to share painful news with me, when it became the trending topic and I was told that it’s because I’m known to be an advocate for equity and fairness, so they think that I need to know when things are neither impartial nor just, even when I’m trying to find my own light out of my darkness.  I was reminded that my own feelings are often less important than others’ need to express their pain.  That being said, I need to clarify that sometimes I don’t need to fix all the world’s problems because I need some time for myself.  And if I don’t say it to you, you won’t know!  So at the moment, I need to tell you that the world can get on by itself for a day or two while I recover from life-altering and saving back surgery, so I can’t carry on for a bit.  I’m also going to have to apologize for being abrupt with people who are pushing me to accept things that fly in the face of established science. I have to question the legitimacy of people who claim to “reveal secrets that doctors don’t want you to know” because there are so many problems with that statement!  

I’m not getting into them tonight for several reasons, but we will return to this topic soon.  We’re too close to the Cup finals, and as I’m banned from watching the games, there’s time next week 🤣 Since I won’t be watching the games, and there will be time to review 😆.  There may also be opportunity to “watch” via Twitter, but we’ll see.  Jerry tells me that I’m late for bed, so it’s time to sign off and go in.  Sleep well! 🥱