Learning and understanding

  I've had a couple of less-than- ideal days. I tried doing a few chores, only to end up in pain. Not at all what I wanted or needed. I'm walking slowly and feeling very elderly... this afternoon, too, for some unknown reason, my hands started jerking so it was difficult to hold anything. It's a little improved now, but I am not totally back to normal. Jerry has been unseated today. People have been walking along the hallway in front of the door, and going into the fire-escape stairwell. This annoys the guard puppy in him. He's got a very loud bark for a small dog, and he was quite annoyed. Don is doing reasonably well, although his leg and sciatica acted up a bit. My dad did his surgery for a hernia yesterday, and it all went well, thankfully. He was home by the afternoon, he slept and ate well and has no pain. All good! I will admit that if I miss more than a day updating here, it will usually be due to my dealing with an "owie "unless I've said that I...

 ' Today is my sister’s birthday.  I remember that when we were children, I used to be very proud to announce that I was the elder by “a year, a month and 2 days,” so that we were never “twins” at any point.  As you can imagine, I’m less enthusiastic about announcing that now, and she’s not too thrilled with aging either 😂. I wish her a lovely day and a year full of blessings.  She, along with my brother and niece, have headed to the beach today, and I’m a little envious that they’re able to do that. But on my next visit, I intend to spend several days at the beach just to make up for the 3 years since I was last able to be there!  I’ve just been abandoned by the tiny monster, who jumped up on Don to get some attention that he wasn’t getting from me.  I’m being watched by a laser-focussed pair of teddy bear boot button eyes, even as he wriggles for more petting from Don, who had difficulty sleeping last night, and has been dozing a bit all day.  Hopef...

I took the monster out for a short walk today again.  He gets so excited to go out that he pulls on the leash just to get out of the condo, and in the elevator, he shivers and whimpers until we leave the building.  Once we’re out, he runs for the trees (often stalled by the leash hitting its limit,) barks at any passerby and then takes off for the corner to cross over and get started on his route.  If anyone gets on the elevator, he barks loudly at them, so we have a short, sharp discussion on his manners.  On the way back, he’s wound down, so he’s a lot quieter.  I’m glad that the weather cooperated today so we were able to walk the block (without my cane!! 🤩) and he was able to run off some excess energy so he should sleep well tonight!  Don and I shared some of his pain meds — in my defence, it’s a “breakthrough” tablet that I might use occasionally.  Mine weren’t as effective as I expected, so I took one of his.  My doctor is aware of my infr...

It was a nice day; it was a lovely fresh day with a cooling breeze and not too hot, altogether a lovely summer’s day that could have been improved by being in and near a body of water!  My nurse, on his visit yesterday, cleared me to take the monster out again, so we had a little walk today to meet his dog friends at the building behind us.  He was excited and thrilled first, to be outside barking at everything and everyone he saw, and second to be petted by his friends.  They were also happy to see him (and hopefully me too 😆)  He was so cute to watch with his friends!  Don is doing OK; still less than great but not too bad.  It’s sports time, so he’s watching that. I’ve never been someone who enjoys crowds.  For years, I’d go home in February because it was my mother’s birthday, and I’d spend it with her.  But it also often coincided with Carnival, and each year I’d be asked, “So are you playing ’mas?” I’d always reply, “I just play the fool.” ...

It’s a little cooler today than yesterday after an overnight thunderstorm.  Thankfully, we weren’t affected, although watching the news today it seems that the storm was quite destructive in areas to the west of us, leaving destroyed homes, downed trees and people without power.  I see these storms, which are powerful and destructive, as evidence of climate change, although I know that there are people who argue that “the climate changed before humans, so there’s no reason to believe that humans have changed the climate.”   None so blind as who will not see.  #offsoapbox 😉. I’m negotiating with Jerry to be allowed to type this; he’s of the view that he needs to be petted or at least touching a person pretty much full time.  Don is currently cooking some beef for his supper, and the tiny monster is letting me know that he’s a neglected and starving puppy who needs petting. So after having a wonderful time with historical recipes (which I’m still enjoying, thanks...

Ooh, I’m struggling to stay awake and it’s still really early.  It was raining this afternoon, which I think adds to the drowsiness in place — the boys are a heap on the sofa, “watching” sports.  (He’s just “resting his eyes,” not sleeping, and the little snores are from the fan… 🙄😝). Jerry began his day by sitting on my tummy to wake me up, then he stretched out for a full body petting, and then he transferred over to Don for more petting.  He’s been touching one of us all day, but still comes looking for more petting.  Silly little pup!   It was a typically hot summer’s day today, and Don commented on how much things have changed in his lifetime.  When he was a boy, he said, on a day like this, women would still be in the kitchen preparing a full meal — roast (mainly beef), potatoes, dessert, etc — in a kitchen over a wood fire, without fans or air conditioning, sometimes no electricity, and no fans.  We laughed that it must have been the origin of...

Busy doing nothing but different from the day before…  yes, some “classic” Prince.  Today isn’t much different from yesterday, although I had a funny moment this morning.  My lay minister had messaged earlier this week to set up an appointment, and I accepted.  This morning, he called from the entry to say that he was here, and I said, “But it’s Saturday, you’d said Sunday!” When I went back to check the email, I read “Saturday” which was a little embarrassing.  But thankfully everything went well, and I received my communion, which I really miss when he’s not available.  Jerry, of course, objected to being thrown out of bed to have someone let in, and has been guarding me for part of the day.  Don is feeling a little better, although he’s still having problems walking and has started using his cane in the house.   The streets downtown were again closed off today because of another protest of drivers.  They decided to clog the highways and ma...

It’s been another hot day today, and it’s hard to breathe because of the humidity.  It’s not fun, nor is the fact that my back just keeps on aching which is beyond annoying.  I don’t like to keep griping about it, and I promise that I won’t keep focussing on it!  My tiny dictator and caretaker has been in his usual position, and is right now “patrolling” to see what mischief he can get into.  He’s doing his usual lap transferring, and will be trying to push the iPad off my lap and replace it with his little self.  Happily, Don is feeling a bit better today so I’m relieved.  The pup is now playing with his little squirrel doll and tossing it in the air. I think that I’m probably getting old and crotchety, because I keep rolling my eyes at a lot of commercials.  I’m sticking with my resolution to avoid watching the news for a while because it’s so full of all kinds of stories that just make me upset… I won’t even mention them because, well, obvious reaso...

It was a hot day again, but there has been a lovely cooling breeze that wanders through every so often, making it more comfortable. Don, though, had a lot of difficulty with the humidity and wasn’t able to breathe comfortably.  My support worker was here today, so Jerry was most annoyed at the invasion of his space!  He let us all know that he didn’t approve — although she has taken him out with me for a short walk, and he was ok with her, until we returned to the apartment and he let us know that it was not OK to have a woman come in!  He’s too funny with his little puppy moods; I know, he’s almost 7 so should be considered a “grown up” dog and not a puppy, but he has so much leftover puppy energy (thankfully) making it hard to remember.  The day-old birthday boy is now glued to a sport thing, so I’m free to get into mischief, as long as I don’t interfere with the TV.  Most frustratingly, my back is spasming again, and I’m having a challenging time finding a co...

It’s a big day for birthdays today.  First off is Don, who’s celebrating his 82nd.  Then there’s my #2 son, Daryn, who is turning 28.  (I don’t know where those years went.  But he remains my baby no matter how old he gets!) And my dear friends Neil and Paul, who are of indeterminate ages that I won’t disclose here.  I wish all of them a very happy day and years ahead, and that they continue to experience good and happy times.  My friend offered to take me out for a drive and we went to collect Don’s cake, taking a short detour through the Fletcher wildlife area, which I didn’t even know existed although it’s not far from me!  It was a lovely day, and we had a nice time.  I hadn’t seen her since before the pandemic, so it was even nicer to catch up!  Jerry somehow knew that I was planning to go out, and was shadowing me since I woke up this morning!  I have no idea how he figured that I was planning to go anywhere, since I didn’t say any...

 It’s a sad thing that I can’t handle heat and humidity!  I was “born and raised in a briar patch, Brer Fox” (or at least on an island just north of the Equator smack dab in the middle of the tropics) so I should  be able to cope with temperatures of 30C… however, this condition with which I live has made it very challenging to deal with it.  The last couple of days, I’ve had nausea during the hot part of the day, and lost my appetite, plus I swelled up like someone inflated a balloon in me.  I’m temporarily banned from taking the tiny monster out, because he pulls and then I wind up with back and shoulder pain.   And  it gets hard to breathe… ain’t that just fun ?  No, I didn’t think so either! The little monster is not happy with the heat either.  But he’s been moving as usual from Don to me and back again, enjoying the breeze from the fans.  He’s been gnawing on the bones from a T-bone steak that Don cooked, and trotting around with i...

The little dictator got taken for a walk this afternoon by me.  I’m trying to follow my physiotherapist’s instructions to walk a little more, and I’m trying to do it without my cane.  Today was a record as I managed to walk completely around my block unassisted!  It wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t something unusual… Jerry, who was super excited about getting out, pulled so hard that he jerked the leash out of my hand and RAN along the sidewalk!  I had some difficulties catching him (he refused to come when called!  So we had a discussion about his obedience) but when I did catch him, he turned around and LAUGHED!!  He settled down after that, and stayed at my side.  I’m sitting and resting because that jerk has caused some pain to my back and shoulder, so that will most probably interfere with his being able to go on an outing tomorrow!  Fingers crossed that it improves tonight, so I don’t have to report it to the nurse.  Don continues to feel...

I took the tiny dictator out for a short walk today.  It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm but not too humid or unpleasant.  We started around the block, and when we got to the building behind us, we ran into several of Jerry’s dog park buddies who were liming outside.  Jerry was super excited to see them, and was wriggling with happiness (Buster was happy to see him too, and tried humping him a few times!  Jerry just ignored him and went about his excited wriggling). I was glad to see the guys also; it’s been months  since I last saw them, so it was nice to catch up.  It was hilarious, too — when we were leaving, Sasha, one of the dogs, came with us almost to the corner, as though she was coming home with us!  We had a good laugh about that, and it took a little while for her to go with her human and leave Jerry.  She loves him and always tries to protect him, and he loves her too. Don wasn’t feeling great, and he was at home resting while we w...

This was from a couple days ago with my “kidnapping” 😆 I just thought it was a lovely view with all the willows.  Jerry is having his dinner now and he’s eating at  me — he takes a mouthful of his dry dog food and comes to stand near me to crunch it as loudly as he can, as if to say that he’s forced to eat this dry stuff where’s the good food?  He’s got a lot of personality for such a tiny dictator.  But that’s probably why he’s dictator 😂. Don’s complaining of pain in his feet again, so I don’t know if it’s his gout or something else.  I hope that he feels better soon. According to an email I received today, it’s “International friends’ day.”  (I don’t know if it’s internationally celebrated, or for international friends, but we’ll take it.). The email encouraged me to create a “circle of support” comprised, I suppose, of my international friends.  More seriously, it’s a day for cancer patients to be able to strengthen their supports of friends and ...

Look!! I’m a gardener!  The first 2 cherry tomatoes from our balcony “plantation!”  Isn’t that exciting?  I know, all the real gardeners who are reading this (I know you’re there) are politely snickering at their screens at my tiny tomatoes, but I’m very excited.  (And, for clarification, when I say “mine” I mean, “the plants that Don bought, brought home and has been caring for since he collected them.”  But I found and picked the first ones, so… we each ate one.). Jerry doesn’t see what all the fuss is about; he’s not at all interested in tomatoes (or radishes, our other “food crop” which are just jungly greens) and would rather dig in the soil.  His tiny bossiness is busy trying to recover his toy from next to the cane — he’s afraid of it and won’t go near it.  When he unearths it, I’ll have to stop typing and assume my role of toy-thrower, so be warned. I spent the day on the phone catching up with family and friends.  It was a good way to spe...

Yesterday, for reasons unknown, I was feeling nauseous with a headache — it’s been YEARS since the last headache — so I took myself off early.  Today marks my “resurrection” day — after the operation 8 years ago, I spent almost a week in a medically induced coma.  I woke up on July 13 to see Don and my sister Helga sitting on either side of me (what a great way to wake up!) with a tube down my throat (less spectacular) so I couldn’t talk.  But it’s another one of those milestones that I celebrate, and this is pretty much a resurrection; although it was longer than 3 days, and not quite 9, so I’m neither Jesus nor Odin!  To mark the day, my sister-friend “kidnapped” me and took me to this lovely spot along the Ottawa river.  We spent a couple of hours there, and it was a perfect day, with sun but a cool breeze and no humidity.  Here’s part of the view, just to share with you.  Jerry was very annoyed that I went out without him, especially since today wa...

Sigh… so my nurse was here today, and when he changed my PICC dressing, we found that I’d bled a little.  I’m trying to think of when and where I might have done something to strain my arm and cause the bleeding… we were half joking that it must have been shortly after the cause of my back pain (it’s been over a week, and a changed dressing, since the pain in my back, so the two can’t be directly related.). Then about an hour after he left, I reached over to pick up a glass of water, and there was a shooting pain up my side, and I’ve been waiting impatiently since then for my pain meds to kick in!!  Don was complaining of pain also — triggered by his epic grocery trip and assorted other activities — and he’s walking like an elderly man today: very unsteadily and with difficulty.  Jerry has decided that he must  be petted at all times, and he noses his way onto laps if more than 5 minutes has elapsed since he got down!  So I’m on a timer 😂  I had a conversa...

Friday marked 8 years since my big surgery.  I’m now into the 9th year since I lost most of my innards, and very very grateful to be here.  There are days that seem very mundane, and I think that maybe I should be doing more productive and exciting things, then I remind myself that life isn’t  a checklist of excitement, and if we did  live in a world of non-stop thrills, we’d never appreciate them.  So I have learned to be appreciative of “ordinary” things that make me happy — like cuddling the tiny dictator (that’s how I spend many nights and early mornings!) or relaxing with Don, or liming with my friends.  All things for which I’m thankful to have had another 8 years to enjoy.  I’ll continue to pray for many more!   So I’m a fairly easy-going type, and I don’t tend to get worked up and angry easily.  I believe that I’m fairly reasonable, and can understand the points of view of a wide range of personalities, and I can adjust and accommodat...

Yesterday was The Great Rogers Interruption  where most of the country lost access to internet, phones, and of less weight to me, cable TV (I’m sure that home security systems were also out.) It was unusual to have no connectivity for almost 30 hours, and several services are still either offline or performing erratically.  (For instance, if I turn the channel to the news, it will suddenly change to car racing when nobody touches a remote.). Plus none of the recorded shows will play off the PVR — all extremely minor inconveniences — and we managed quite well.  I dug out several books, including some that I’d downloaded, and read quietly most of yesterday, ignoring the little twinges that suggested that I could be doing something more productive .  Today I took the little dictator out for a short walk — made shorter by the fact that I’d forgotten to take my cane, so I couldn’t go quite as far.  Don took advantage of the outing to nip out to the grocery, so I was ...

 Saw my doctor early this morning.  He was able to explain both my pain and my depression.  Briefly, the pain caused the depression (as several of you had suggested) as prolonged pain interrupts your neurochemistry and leads to feeling blue.  As for the pain, my nurse had said that the side of my back with the pain felt different, and my doctor said that it’s visibly swollen.  There’s a lot of scar tissue in that area from last year’s back surgery, and that can lead to spasms that are quite severe, and also accounts for my shortness of breath.  It’s something of a relief to hear that there are explanations for my symptoms.  We’ve adjusted my meds a bit, and suggested a few other options.  Annoyingly, and sadly, I’m still not allowed to get a massage, but I’ll remain optimistic!  Jerry had some time running around a park, and even more cuddling — he moved from me to Don and back several times! — so he’s been definitely hugged and petted all da...

It’s been a beautiful sunny day today. I was out for a short stroll around the block (annoyingly, still pretty much my limit for a walk at one stretch!!  With rest, I can do longer, but the rule is to walk half as far as my greatest extent, and that isn’t increasing anywhere near as much as I’d like!!). I feel more like myself today, for which I am happy, as the little Sad Sack  cloud that was hanging over me is not at ALL comfortable!  My little dictator is pleased with me, and is of the view that if the apartment door opens he needs to get out and boss everyone in sight!  It’s worse if he hears the jingle of keys, because not only is he convinced that somebody is going somewhere (and therefore he needs to go with them!) but that when leaving the house you should do a check for “phone, keys, ID and puppy!” Don is again glued to the never ending baseball game, so all is as it should be! Thanks everyone for your messages of encouragement.  I’m certain that they h...