Learning and understanding

PSA: Leftover food has a definite expiry date and should be consumed long before that! I ate some leftovers that should have been finished a couple of days earlier, and ended up with a minor (thankfully!) attack of  tummy wobbles.. It's distressing how that can disrupt your day. There were a few "aftershocks" this morning, and my appetite hasn't returned but that's ok. I'll be fine. Jerry was adorable- I was in the bathroom, battling waves of nausea, and Jerry went to get Don to come and help me! What a good, loving boy!   As we're talking about food, and while my appetite is missing, I wanted to discuss a couple of food-related points. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a girl who enjoys her meals. In fact, looking back at photos over the years, most are of us (my family or friends and 1) around a table, savouring food. By and large my friends are known to enjoy the combination of good food and lively conversation, and I'm happy to know that I c...

We continue with cooler temperatures, and my feet have responded by not swelling! Just lovely! I'm very happy that my feet even't swollen in the heat. I love diving into new books. They are full of adventure and excitement and really wild things_ It's great to find new authors and to share them with friends.  The challenge that I often face is finding other authors to try. Pent of my difficulty is that I am not a big fan of many recent authors we tried several of them and couldn't get into the story. It was dreadful! Then I found a couple of sites that have the full text of books. They are FADED PAGE.COM and GUTENBERG.ORG They both have out of copyright books so they aren't new. Faded page is a Canadian site, and makes use of Canadian law, which gives copyright as life plus 50 years, so it can take a while before books become available. Books that could be added this year are for authors who died in 1971 and were published by then. I was delighted to find that sev...

It is significantly cooler than it was all week. In fact, today was perfectly crisp Fall weather, requiring a cozy sweater or a wrap. That led to reduced swelling and easier breathing. My home care nurse recommended that I get at home oxygen to use as needed. My GP did a referral for me, but the palliative care doctor said that I'm unlikely to qualify as my saturation levels are 97 % I'm not sure if I should or not, but I'll talk to the company. It can't hurt. I'm having a moment where I'd like to have some of Jerry's seemingly limitless energy! I keep looking at things that I'd like to do but I'm having to lie down until the feeling passes. Instead I'm working slowly on my crochet cardigan after a long pause. I did manage to detangle the terrifyingly huge yarn barf that I had, then realized that I couldn't use that yarn for the project that I had in mind. Then I spent several days browsing patterns to find an alternative that would work with...

How wonderful. The temperature dropped by 10° and it was a cool and agreeable high of 25°! That made it much more pleasant and easier to breathe. The humidity is gone and there is a refreshing breeze. Marvellous. I'm hoping that the temperatures-and the humidity-remain moderate for a while. I was asked yesterday if I'd bought any of the hospital lottery tickets. One of them has a grand prize of a house, brand-new, fully furnished and loads of extras. Another has car packages-each day for a month there's a prize of a pair of cars. Some are luxury vehicles, some are trucks, there are hybrids or electric. The hospital lotteries also advertise that their  odds of winning are 1 in 3. I've been playing for most of the past 20 years, and won precisely  nothing, except the knowledge that my contact info is known by the hospital fundraising foundation. That guarantees that I'll get letters several times a year, encouraging me to donate and perhaps buy a lottery ticket again....

I had an appointment with my palliative care/pain management doctor this morning. He says that I'm on a good trajectory, with the pain being generally managed and my sleep being more consistent. He's pleased, as am I. The priority now is treatment for the residual pain  so he's arranging a follow-up with a specialist. I'm also delighted that I've stopped some of the meds, so there are fewer to take. That's a relief, as I'm not a fan of taking a lot of pills. The nurse and I joked that if I ever worried about my memory, a good test would be to list off all of my doctors (we're up to 10 now) and my meds and their doses (down to a dozen in ale) I may make up a cheat sheet, just in case!   The heat continues... it's supposed to cool off to 23° tomorrow, but it's still 32° right now, so... I wait! The big excitement of the week is that my niece has just completed her CXC (O' levels) and is waiting for results. Always an exciting but tense time. Sh...

Status unchanged today. The heat continues to be oppressive a'nd muggy with high humidity, so it's very uncomfortable. I have developed a lot more empathy for Don, who suffers from COPD and my other friends who are asthmatic. I now better understand how they suffer in the humidity and in pollen season. It's remarkably difficult to take a breath, smell a smell, sniff a sniff... (bonus points if anyone identifies the source for that line! Helga, Joanne, Giselle, Heidi, Therese, Alana? 🤪) The weather also bolsters some negativity. I'm amazed at how often I find myself slipping into a depressive state lately, often tied to an episode of gasping for air. I am tempted to cancel any non- critical medical appointments and avoid phone calls from unknown numbers, Perhaps thankfully, my friends are all identifiable when they call, and they also tend to avoid unknown callers. They're also good at leaving pertinent voicemails and sending texts and emails, so I don't- miss a...

Just assume that I'm still grousing about the heat, which continues to be oppressive and humid. My breathing is laboured because of it, and if the humidity keeps up, as the meterologists suggest, then breathing will be even worse. I am still delighted that my sleep is good and restful, and the pain is manageable, but present. I'm due to see my doctor the day after tomorrow, and I have a few items to discuss with him... I've  started a list, which helps me remember the critical items. Here’s Jerry, supervising my computer use because anything thay interrupts his tummy massage 😁.   So I've got a pair of projects that are bubbling in the back of my mind. I can work on them fairly easily because they’re  mostly mental, and my brain still works, even if the rest of me doesn't want to cooperate. I've begun outlines, but in order to better develop them, I need your input, please, because you are all a great source of inspiration. Project #1 I may have mentioned before...

Today I'm grumbling about the heat, which is, not to put too fine a point on it, brutal. I've been dealing with nausea, which gets worse when I'm out of the AC, so I realize that it's heat-related. Now, I'm an island girl, who grew up in the tropics, so I should be able to cope with the summer heat. But it's really beyond my capacity to cope. Yes, I'm whining a bit, and I apologize for that. I'll try to keep the moaning to a minimum. The pain is higher today than yesterday, again proof of the weather's influence. I've been trying to get hold of one of my doctors to arrange a follow-up appointment. Now, I have a small army of doctors and medical professionals, and keeping track of my appointments is practically a job in itself. Sometimes I've got several appointments in a week, and there are other sessions-my home care nurse, the support worker, etc. --that I have to work around.. There are days when my calendar is more packed than when I was ...

I think that my sleep issues are now a thing of the past. I'm very happy about that as you might guess! I'm able to sleep for 6- 8 hours a night, and my sleep deficit is almost clear-I don't fall asleep randomly in the day either. Progress! Hurrah! Pain, however... working on that. I'm doing my best to manage my level of activity so I don't exacerbate my back or add to the fracture. I'm waiting for an appointment with the surgeon to treat the fracture in my spine, and hopefully that will sort everything out. The biggest problem, though is the heat-I checked today and we're the same as in Trinidad. I'm finding it very difficult to breathe even sitting in front of the fan. I spent a lot of the day in the air-conditioned bedroom, which was a little easier, but still not easy. I also understand the power of suggestion-we were watching a TV show in which a couple were locked into a sauna that was running at full blast. There were thick clouds of steam and the...

  I had a marvellous experience this morning. First, I slept through my alarm for my meds, and woke up an hour and a. half later. Then when I rolled over and got out of bed - I had NO pain! None! I moved like a normal person. That was absolutely awesome. I'm wise enough to know not to push too hard, so I just made myself a cup of tea. That blissful feeling lasted a whole half-hour, but it was heavenly. I hope that it repeats itself again, and soon. The heat continues to be oppressive and stifling, so I'm not being too active. I would love to be parked on Store Bay, or at least on my balcony overlooking it. But I understand that the beaches remain shut, so I'll just fantasize about being there. Here I am, 3 years ago, in that spot. It was 10 years ago, back in 2011, that I did a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with my mother and aunt (AKA "The Mommies" so named by my team) That was an excellent experience, and can be found here in the blog. There are several posts, co...

I'm pleased to advise that I continue to sleep well, without needing sleeping aids. Thankfully the bedroom is air conditioned, as it continues to be hot, humid and sticky overnight. This Ottawa summer weather reminds me of growing up in the tropics, minus the mosquito netting that hung over the bed. My tummy is settling better, and except for the pain in my back, we're on a positive trajectory. My physiotherapist discharged me today, sadly not because I'm healed, but because she can not do any more until my back heals; probably another 2- 3 months, so I will be re-enrolled when that happens.  I give you a starving and neglected puppy who was unable to mooch part of my sandwich which had hot chili peppers in it, so I didn’t want him to have any.  I’m being shunned as a bad parent for eating something that the little dog can’t share! 😂 I dug out and am re-reading some of my old Enid Blyton books. I know, they're intended for tweens at the oldest. But the stories remain e...

  As my regular readers know, last night I conked out around 9pm and was asleep until my morning meds alarm went off. That was a lovely sleep. I never woke up once during the night, not even when Jerry moved around and plopped onto my tummy. Today is a little better than earlier in the week. I had an afternoon nap, and I'm feeling rested.. The tiny dictator is in snuggle mode, and is moving back and forth in search of a tummy massage. I met a friend and former work colleague for breakfast this morning. So great to catch up with friends, particularly after almost 2 years. In fact, the last time I saw this friend was back in December 2019 when I was doing chemotherapy. I remember, because it was the day that I had shaved my hair after I'd started losing it, and I ran into her on my way home. Isn't it funny how we remember certain connections? Ok, so I have a controversial topic to discuss. Please feel free to jump in and comment; and I don't need to tell you to keep the c...

So today I had an improvement,  slight but real. My sleep continues to be good, and I'm very pleased with that. Annoyingly, though, I'm still a bit gassy and bloated, and my tummy is a bit unhappy. I met with my doctor today and he has made a slight change to my meds. He thinks, and I agree, that my specialists are doing very well managing my condition, so he doesn't want to confuse anything, so he's not making changes.  Don did a grocery run today. Usually when he does that, he  comes home with bags filled with cookies, pies, cakes, sweets and other items that are on the "very limited consumption" list; so I was a little concerned especially since he went alone and unaccompanied. When he returned, though, the bags were filled with grapes, peaches, end-of-the-season Onrawo strawberries, bananas, tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, watermelon- lots and lots of fruit! One lemon meringue pie, some brownies, lemon squares and butter tarts-but only one each!! I am in sho...

So bizarre! I slept like a log last night, but today I am having a lot of difficulty keeping my eyes open. It's ludicrous! Plus my feet are all swollen and puffy. Add to that my tummy is unhappy, and I'm gassy and bloated, so I'm uncomfortable! I'm annoyed, trying to understand why my body is misbehaving like this. I hope that it is temporary; but I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and that should (I hope) clear things up nicely. The eternal optimist-that's me! Today was very exciting, because - drum roll, please-I got a haircut! For the first time in 21 months. It's an amazing feeling, being groomed again! Even better was getting complimented by random strangers. Does absolute marvels for the ego. Although my spiffy hair and I are just going to be lounging around the house, but at least my hair will be pretty! . I've come to the realization that we, as humans, need to have an object of worship in our lives. I don't- think that it's possib...

AARGH! If it ain't one thing... we can mark "sleep" off the list of problems. I've had over a full week of 6+ hours a night, with small naps during the day. Having accomplished that goal, I was hoping for a couple of days of normalcy and perhaps some dull times. But no!  Today I had a resurgence of pain, for no clearly identifiable reason, accompanied by a very unhappy tummy. that will be another day or so. <sigh> oh well,  Life isn't boring, at least. I was listening to some music today. I realized that I'm stuck in a rut with that. I'm really into ruts on things that I like; we'll come back to this. But music-I tend to go to 80's and 90's greatest hits. Those are my favourite eras for music, generally speaking. There's some overlap from other times, but the majority of songs are in those years. What is it about music from the 80's that makes it so enjoyable? Yes, it's the music then I listened to as a teenager, which gives i...

  It was a cooler day today than it has been. So much more comfortable. Celebratory moment-a full week of sleeping 6- 7 hours a night! That's excellent, and I'm so happy for it! My tiredness level is still a bit high, but I'm less inclined to fall asleep on myself at random moments. Consider that I'm doing virtual happy dances for that! I feel like I've  reached a milestone on my path to recovery. Still some way to go, but at least there is progress. Next step-be able to stand up for more than 10 minutes without pain. That will allow me to actually cook a meal and enjoy it! Right now, I need to take frequent breaks and I'm often too tired and achy to enjoy what I've prepared. Today's theme is one that I thought apt. It translates as " It is easier to do many things than [to focus] on one. " It struck me that I-like so many others-am guilty of this! I'll load up on multiple projects and flit from one to another, like a bee in a Clover field....

Another note to self: when you do dumb things, recovery is not quick. Even if you think that you were following all the rehabilitation rules, it does not go away quickly. Trying to pass along the blame to my therapist for the pain is of limited value as my interaction is only for an hour and a bit after review and revising my exercises and my progress. I estimate that I'd be closer to "normal" after tomorrow. At least, I hope so! At my last nurse's visit, she muttered that my pulse and blood pressure were difficult to identify. For some reason, she couldn't detect my heart rate, and therefore readings were difficult to obtain.  It got more entertaining when she tried using the automatic reader and that also had problems reading my pressure. It took about 3 tries before it settled, leaving me wondering if I had suddenly lost my heart-not in San Francisco, as I've never been there.- but somewhere near here... LOL I think that I've narrowed down my prospectiv...

Thou shalt listen, mark, inwardly digest and obey all instructions given by thine medical team. Patient, thou knowest nothing. and thou art not God. Therefore, when thou hast an idea, and it conflicts with the detailed, specific instructions provided by the demi-god who is the medical professional, thine idea will be put on ye heap of rubbish, there to be incinerated, and thou shalt obey. Else thou wilt be deservedly suffering, and shalt get no  sympathy. Because fools deserve their misery!   I thought that I knew better than my team, and chose to do stuff that's resulted in me being in agony again today. I am, rightly. paying for it, and now I'm done with my (scheduled) tests today, I returned home and crawled into bed and cursed my stubbornness and gross stupidity. As an aside, it was very amusing at the CT are. I had started writing some of this while waiting, and the RN passed by and saw me. She was so excited that she called the technician, the other nurse and the poster ...

This heat is draining, debilitating and demotivating. (alliteration at work!) It's really difficult to get anything done, and I've decided not to plan anything too strenuous. So I've been filling my role as dog bed, dog tummy-masseur and dog cuddle- dispenser. Not a total waste of my talents in this stifling heat. 😀 I ran into a problem yesterday with my library downloads. Suddenly my access to magazines disappeared. So after trying several things. I sent an email to the help desk. I actually got a call back from them, saying that they'd had a problem yesterday, and ensuring that I could regain access. I am very pleased with that! I never expected a call. Great customer service! And yes, I'm a regular and very committed library patron, and have been for the 20 + years that I've lived in Ottawa. I love that I live so close to the Main library, and that it has such a large and varied catalogue. Then I learnt about the online materials and I never looked back. I k...

Another full night! By Friday, it will be almost a whole week. and I will be on track to remove a large chunk of my deficit. Plus, I think that I'll be en route to cutting out some medications and sleeping better. Should I be concerned that my back is cracking and popping when I move? That's new since after my nurse left this afternoon. I'm thinking it means that my muscles are relaxing and I'll be able to move more freely, and I stand a [small) chance of standing more erect... We must live in hope or die in despair-right?. My tiny dictator is getting antsy about not getting long walks. In this heat (again, Trinidad is cooler) he's panting with his tongue practically dragging on the ground before we get to the end of the building. He's close to overheating after 1 lap of the block... so his walks are brief. He lets me know that he disapproves of this approach to his surveillance of his Kingdom! At night, though, he cuddles me. We are in the "dog days" ...