Wrapping 2023

🎶 Oh the weather outside was frightful, but inside was so delightful…  I don’t know who was the happiest in this photo, do you?  The last couple of days the weather was cold, rainy, windy and generally “stay inside and keep warm”  but since I was with the small people, it really didn’t matter.  They arrived Thursday evening around 7pm, and I spent most of Friday, yesterday and this morning being under a pile of children. Jerry wasn’t sure what to do with 4 new people in his house, 2 of whom were small in size!  He barked, he wriggled, he pretend growled, stood guard over his toy… then he jumped on my lap to protect me, and allowed himself to be petted after which he was in love.  The kids were a little scared at first, but then adjusted when he quieted down again.  Don decided to go for a 6-hour run to get death sticks (cigarettes) and had an adventure complete with a blown out tire and a damaged rear panel.  I’ll hear details later when he’s rested up a bit.  He’s back home now, having eaten and is glued to one of at least 10 sports games that he recorded today.  I’m not exaggerating much; I saw several pop up’s that some sports thing was being recorded, and one of his teams is playing live now. So he’s not aware that I’m here.  Only fair, I guess, since I “abandoned” him for the last 2 evenings (when he was glued to other sports things!!)  I expect he’ll be sore tomorrow and probably the day after, so I won’t make too much fun of him tonight. 

I’ve been eating regularly and often.  When I’m with my sister, I tend to have more snacks (popcorn, potato crisps, etc) than normal; I don’t buy them myself but they do, so we had bowls of crunchy snacks, a couple bottles of Coke, and we were munching and talking until late.  We laughed at the idea that for us, an “adult” conversation is over these snacks and not with wine or cocktails (kids were asleep in the next room) but the company is more enjoyable so it really doesn’t matter what we’re eating.  The care package that I received is also welcome, and I was giving thanks for friends and family who do these wonderful things to help simplify my life, and provide Trinidadian Christmas goodies for me.  Sleep hasn’t been quite as good as it could be, but then I’ve been having fun, so it doesn’t count.  (Got home at midnight, went to bed around 1, woke up by 9, out of the house before noon, rinse and repeat!)  The only downside in all this joy is that my hair is falling out!!! I passed my hand through my hair, and it just fell out.  I’m going to be starting 2024 bald… AGAIN.  It will grow back, and I have cute wigs, scarves and hats, so… minor in the grand scheme of things.

Auntie was in her happy place, as you can guess, and after the kids went to bed, the adults sat up and talked until almost midnight every night.  I’m sorry you guys were neglected, but priorities!!  They “taught” me to colour by numbers, which — for them — meant that I got handed red (because it’s your favourite, Auntie) so I coloured all the 1’s and they changed theirs regularly.  Surprisingly they weren’t interested in watching TV or playing on their tablets, just telling me about their day, having me spot fire engines and buses, looking out at the skyline, and we drove around Ottawa so they could see the “street of castles” (Parliament Hill) and — of greater interest to my nephew — all the construction sites with the big cranes and all the equipment.  It’s been an absolutely lovely wrap up of their Christmas holidays and the year. 

As this year rolls into the past, I’m thankful to be here to celebrate.  There were a lot of ups and downs this year, but on balance, it’s been pretty good.  I looked back on my photos, and there are some fun times documented there, with friends, family; short trips around town — I’m very good at being “kidnapped” 😉 and taken for a drive to get coffee or a snack or to enjoy a park!  There weren’t as many meals out as in previous years, but there were moments when I reconnected with friends (we really have to fix these long gaps!!); a wedding; birthday parties, all sorts of things like that.  I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to visit TT, but the heat makes it difficult for me to breathe comfortably and there were some unusual heat warnings this year.  I love the time I spent with my sister and the kids, even though the trip there can be painful (like when there’s an ice storm and a 4-hour trip turns into 12!!) My family, thankfully, is healthy, even though we’re diminished in number again… and I am very pleased that we are as close and supportive as we are.  It would be a lot more difficult to get through life with unpleasant siblings or toxic relationships.  I’m grateful for my friends, who don’t let me wallow endlessly in the Slough of Despair (Pilgrim’s Progress; a really dreadful book, with some far reaching effects) and who manage to keep my spirits up by letting me know that they’re available.  I’m not crazy about the cold (as you know) but the warmth of love that I receive makes me feel better.  Many thanks for all the prayers and thoughts that are offered on my behalf; I can’t express what it means to know that people care enough to want me to be healthy and strong.  I am humbled by the number who say that I inspire them or that I’ve been a positive influence on them.  Thank you for sharing that.  I honestly don’t think that I’ve done anything special, but I’m deeply moved that so many of you have shared that.  I’m also overwhelmed by the many examples of calm courage that I’ve seen from friends and relatives who have been dealing with their own challenges, but who remain cheerful and full of joy.

I think I’d like to wrap up my thoughts on this year with the concept of what joy means.  It’s not mindless giggling, nor a feeling of constant euphoria; it is this sense that you have a place in this beautiful, crazy world, and you’ve accepted that things are what they are.  Joy — to my way of thinking — is that when you’re faced with an uncertain time, you know that God (however you perceive Him or Her) holds you safely and will guide you through everything to come.  It doesn’t mean that life is easy, nor that you’ll never be scared, anxious or angry, but that you will be.  All will be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things will be well, in fact, as Julian of Norwich puts it.  For the people who have realized this, it just permeates their being, shines out of their faces and touches everyone around them.  I’m trying to attain that level of calm myself, but I’m not quite there yet!  I’ve seen it, though, in several of my aunts and uncles and some friends who just look at their difficulties, shrug and say, “Oh, well.  Let’s get on with living, shall we?” And they do.  Maybe that should be a goal for the year ahead?  I don’t know… and I’ll save my goals for another time!

Anyway, I hope that 2023 has been — on balance — a good year, where you have had more positives than negatives.  Let’s bid it farewell, and look forward to other good years ahead.  At the end of this year, I hope that you do not remember the things that are best forgotten, and never forget those that are best remembered.  Much love to you, your families, friends and all those who encircle and protect you in this life.  Good night, and I look forward to updating in 2024!