ut prosim

Aren’t these pretty?  A photo from Belgium, from my friend’s garden.  I got a full “bouquet” taken between flurries… after grumbling that winter was almost snow-free.  Today I had several long phone calls with friends with whom I hadn’t spoken for a while.  It was so nice to catch up with them.  It’s also nice to be reminded that I haven’t been completely forgotten, even though I’m doing a good impression of a hermit avoiding people (between the Covid, my back pain, the cold and the 1001 reasons for avoiding socializing that I’ve been practicing!). Of course, Jerry did not approve of my phone calls, and parked his little self on my lap and did not move, even when I asked him nicely to move!  He only changed position to move my hands to rub his belly more… Don is feeling more energetic, and has a very healthy appetite (so the ice cream is in severe danger!!) and was very busy between spring training and hockey.  

I had my usual aunt-niece chat today, and I was recounting some of my early dating stories to her.  (All perfectly suitable for a G-rated audience!  You’d see worse on the Disney channel’s live action shows). Anyway, it occurred to me that if I’d been more present during my teen years, I’d probably have had more fun, or learned lessons earlier than I actually did.  I mean, if I’d been more aware, then I might have been a better student and got better grades without a lot of effort — but I’d be distracted by books and not focus on physics, for instance.  Or maybe if I’d spent more time making friends I’d have had a wider social life — although, as I explained to my niece, our youth group were a fairly tight group of friends who moved together through various activities.  She was telling me how challenging she finds it to reach out and make new friends in a new environment.  I told her that I had similar issues at her age.  I’d much rather have been left with my books than be forced to attend social events.  I told her that once I realized that I’d have to socialize, I decided that I’d be in charge, so at least I wouldn’t be bored… leading to me taking over the youth group and getting into a number of activities.  It worked, sort of, but there were hiccups… anyway, we’re going to practice interacting with strangers (in controlled, safe environments) so that she doesn’t go through university as a loner.  Then she pointed out that I get involved in a lot of things with her to push her to try new things.  It’s not as scary, she says, knowing that I’m being supportive.  I’m relieved to hear that, although I wish that I were closer to be able to help as needed.

In an unrelated question, apropos of my “why are people so angry?” question yesterday, is this one from a friend… Why aren’t more parents able to convey a sense of self-esteem to their kids?  Because (in their experience) many of the sources of anger come from feelings of inadequacy.  Are we, in fact, failing our children by encouraging beliefs that we’re persecuted victims who are fighting against a punishing set of oppressors?  Instead of teaching them that they are capable, intelligent, people who will work to make things better?  Even though life isn’t fair, it doesn’t mean that we’re victims.

OK, too many deep thoughts for a day!  I’m off to get some rest and recharge for another day of managed pain!! And probably being a dog cushion and puppy tummy masseuse 😄. Good night!