August

 

Annoyingly, I’m still having a couple of ongoing issues that make me uncomfortable.   (Still trying to keep my focus away from the p-word). My nurse was here today, and we discussed them, and he suggests that I may still be having a delayed reaction to the chemo or it’s a side-effect for one of my meds (I only have one new one, which is an “as needed” so we think it’s not likely to be that). I’m going to insert a small grumble here about the humidity, which is causing discomfort also… OK, that ends my complaining for today, because it’s WAAY too easy to fall into a complaining cycle.  My boys are both well, although the big one has been having problems sleeping, and the little one has problems with letting me sleep!  I’ll be heading in early tonight because (a) I’m sleepy and tired and (b) I have a crack-of-dawn doctor’s appointment in the morning.  The tiny dictator will put me to bed, and hopefully will let me get some sleep instead of wanting to play into the wee hours of the morning.

Today is my dad’s 88th birthday, and I can’t help feeling a little twinge of regret.  The last time I was home, and with my dad and aunt and the rest of the family in person was 3 years ago when we threw him a surprise party for his 85th (and then I hung around for a couple of weeks after.)  I’d like to be able to visit soon, and spend some time soaking in the love of the family! (And some necessary beach time, and get hugs from everyone…)  I spoke with him today (of course) and he’s doing well following his surgery last Friday.  Thankfully he’s not in pain any more, and is able to move around easily, so that’s really good. I’m also happy that I was able to arrange for my aunt to receive communion, and she’s also pleased with that.  

I was having a moment recently thinking about people and how we manage to make friends.  I mean, we’ll meet a lot of people over time, but some of them become friends (to varying degrees), and others just sort of vanish.  I’ve never been able to figure out how that happens… I look at my friends, and I think that they’re a VERY diverse bunch.  Apart from me, there are very few things that they have in common.  I mean, some enjoy going for dim sum, others wouldn’t touch it.  Some like the theatre, others prefer movies, a few like camping (not me!) and some are mall dwellers, while some are avid readers and others react as though books were made of poisonous lava! (Only a mild exaggeration 😂). Some are blood relatives (I make the distinction because there are those who have become family over the time we’ve known each other)  I’ve met some at dinners, at courses or conventions, in the elevator, at work, while shopping, through other friends… you get the idea.  A select few have been friends since I was a child and it’s so lovely to have them!  We have conversational shorthand that we use that makes others uncomfortable (not intentionally) and there are some who I’ve known for less than a year.  What I absolutely LOVE about all of my friends is that they are, without exception, wonderful, kind, caring, fun people who are delightful to be around and who bring happiness into my life.  I may be quick to apply the label “friend” but I’ve found that I rarely regret doing that.  I may not talk to everyone as often as I’d like, but it’s not because of disinterest on my part.  I hate to admit it, but the way my energy fluctuates prevents me from being as involved and connected as I’d like.  

I’ll just reiterate how much I love and appreciate all of you.  It would be far more challenging to handle my life if I didn’t have you in it.  As much as I’d love to see everyone more often, practicality sometimes sneaks in and I have to restrict my time… I’ve learned (the hard way) that my ambition outstrips my capacity, and I can’t do all the things that my mind envisions.  (It’s another application of the saying, “your eyes are bigger than your stomach.”)  So, my lovely supportive friends, thank you for being who you are, and for letting me lean on you.  Wishing you a restful night and a loving tomorrow.  Good night!