Happy

This is a picture of a neglected, starved puppy who is unloved and unpetted. Or so he'd like you to believe… He was trying to mooch a piece of my sandwich after he'd emptied his bowl and dragged the evidence to show me! He then jumped into my lap, rolled over and bunny-kicked until I started massaging his tummy. Aren't I well-trained? Don continues to feel unwell, and refuses to go to a doctor. Although that would mean a walk-in clinic, and I'm not sure how good they are. We still don't have a family doctor after ours retired last December- we're on a couple of waiting lists, but no luck yet.  We’re also reluctant to try the ER, what with the crowding and the long waits and all the “benefits” of the Ford administration’s “focus” on healthcare! 🤬  In other news, I got a call early this morning from the endocrinology nurse, responding to my call about my series of low readings.  After a quick review of my symptoms and daily readings (and a phone consultation with my doctor) we’re adjusting my insulin regimen and I’ve been ordered again to increase my caloric intake.  Apparently my sugar readings are still too closely controlled, so it’s a sign that I’m not eating enough.  She then sent me a training poster that explains why low readings are bad, and I have to report back next week on the changes.  Amazing, isn’t it?  I spent most of my life struggling to lose weight, dealing with people (not doctors, usually) telling me to eat less, and since my diagnosis, I’m being regularly told to eat more!!  The irony, I tell you!  The best news, which I’ve saved to last, is that my scan results are back, and they show that I’m stable.  That, I think, calls for a celebration 🍾 Perhaps a chicken roti?  Or a slice of cake.  Cake is always a part of any decent celebration 🎊 

I heard yesterday something that made me think for a bit.  The speaker pointed out that we’ve reached a point where we have more technology, more “labour-saving” devices, more disposable income than our grandparents/ parents did.  We have faster cars — heck, almost everyone has a car — bigger houses, more leisure time and more luxuries, but we have a poorer quality of life.  Once again, I had to pause to consider this rather than just discarding it as the ramblings of an elderly curmudgeon.  The speaker noted that in their youth, doors to the house were left unlocked and often stood open throughout the day.  Neighbours spoke to each other.  Children played outdoors, largely unsupervised for long periods.  These are largely only memories now.  A friend’s dad (in his mid-80s) returned to his home town after being away for 30 or so years, to find that neighbours no longer greet you on the street and strangers aren’t welcomed with a smile.  He’s shocked and disappointed by this change, and says that it’s such an unwelcome departure from his memories.  I know what he means… I recall being able to leave the car unlocked, with the keys in it, and go off to do stuff.  I also remember being able to sit on the wall of the gallery in my house, talking to friends until fairly late in the evening.  That’s not  something that we can do anymore; first, there’s burglar proofing which makes it impossible to sit there, and second, people are concerned about the potential for criminal activity, so they don’t often sit outside in the evenings.  Sad, isn’t it?  Even in Ottawa, doors are locked, doorbell cameras are vigilant and people don’t make eye contact with strangers.

I remember one person saying to me, years ago, that they liked living in a large city because it was easy to be anonymous.  In a small town or a village, where everyone knows everyone else, your life is public record.  Every one of your failures and errors is permanently etched on the bricks of the houses, and they’re trotted out each time you try to do something different.  Essentially, every facet of your life is known, planned and constrained.  The only way to change is to leave, and only return for short visits.  That’s the downside of having a small, reasonably close-knit community.  On the one hand, people look out for each other, and will care for each other.  It’s less likely that people will be isolated or suffer from the issues related to loneliness.  But that care comes at the expense of privacy and the challenge of preset expectations.  The anonymity of city living allows an individual to craft their own identity, determine what chances they’re willing to take, and shape a life.

Personally, I think the ideal is somewhere in the middle.  Being part of a community that’s caring, supportive and encouraging, so that you’re never isolated, but with enough autonomy to be alone from time to time, free from others’ opinions, expectations and commentary.  I have several friends who have known me since I was a child, so we have a lot of shared experiences and it keeps us grounded because we have gone through life’s changes and know where we started and how we’ve developed, while there are  more friends who have only known me in Canada so what they know of my past is what I’ve chosen to share, although some of them have met my family and one has visited my home with me.  Both groups are essential and I wish that there was a way that they were all closer together!  What do you prefer?  Having many people around who know your life in great detail, or only admitting a few select people of your choosing?  

That’s it for today… I’m going to offer several prayers of thanksgiving for my results, and hopefully I’ll get a good night’s sleep.  Plus I’ll plan an appropriate celebration… good night!