Friends

Mother Nature, I give up!  It’s definitely chilly, and my summer wear is insufficient to keep me cozy.  I’ve broken out my “OfDon” hoodie to keep a little warmer… I really dislike Handmaid’s Tale, but this robe reminds me of the costumes in the show.  Jerry is having a little snooze on Don’s lap after having a good time this afternoon.  I took him on his little outing, and we encountered a few of the people from the dog park — Jerry was so happy that he broke into a run and dragged me about halfway down the block to meet them.  (Guess whose left side of the body is in pain tonight?)  He and his buddies had a lovely time playing on the lawn of the building behind us, and he (and the other small dogs) tired each other out!  It’s lovely watching him greet his little dog buddies, and equally so to see the humans attached to the dogs.  We had a quick catch up, and Don was a bit sorry that he hadn’t joined us — although I’m sure that there were text messages flying as soon as anyone got to their phone to discuss the dogs.  I had a very broken night last night; I didn’t fall asleep until almost 3:30am and woke up at 6:00.  I’m running on caffeine today, but I hope that I’ll be able to sleep tonight.  

I had two encounters with friends today that were on opposite ends of the spectrum.  The first, which was lovely, was an in-person coffee meeting with a friend who I hadn’t seen since the pandemic.  As always, it was a delight to see her and catch up — and it feels like 2 hours isn’t enough to exchange all our thoughts and updates.  Isn’t that a wonderful feeling?  When you encounter someone after a long time and it’s still not enough time to catch up?  She gave me some good ideas on how to progress on one project that’s dear to me but which I haven’t started properly because of the time commitment involved.  So we’ll talk more about her idea and get on to implementing my project!  I’m also doing a shameless plug for her work here, I’m a little sorry that I didn’t do it before!  She runs an organization called Women Speak Up which encourages women to develop many of their strengths.  I was a speaker for one of her events in the before-the-plague times, and I must admit that it was a warm learning experience for me.  So many women who are willing to support and listen to each other.  (I encourage you to check them out on Instagram and Facebook as well as their website.)  She runs this with her husband, and they have an event happening tomorrow.  Promotional material aside, I consistently enjoy my time with her, and I’m motivated by her passion for coaching and development of individuals.  Over a cup of tea (for me) and coffee (for her) we talked about the need for supports for people struggling with mental illnesses, about how we sometimes meet people who are massive influences on our lives without really looking for them.  Isn’t that an awesome thing when it happens?  She also reminded me that years ago there was a joke calling Don “imaginary” because very few people had met him, while I attended many events in the city.  When we parted to go home, I was feeling energized, inspired and content.  It was a good afternoon.

Earlier today I’d sent a text to another friend who I haven’t seen or heard from in several months.  She replied fairly quickly, and I was saddened.  She was diagnosed with cancer last year after a routine doctor’s appointment and had multiple repeat infections since — from covid to gastroenteritis to diverticulitis and many others.  We’ve been trying to arrange to meet for months, but she’s often back in hospital dealing with the results of an infection so we postpone.  Today she said how lonely she was; that she’d always had very few friends but since her diagnosis even they had fallen away.  She added that recently was the first time that she regretted her long-ago divorce from someone who didn’t respect her, because at least then she’d have someone in the house.  My heart broke as I read that.  To long for a bad marriage just to avoid loneliness is tragic.  I have been chatting with her a little, just to break her monotony but it pains me.  I also felt a little guilty when I spoke with her, because I felt like I was just rubbing my blessings in her face.  I’m thankful for having friends who keep me in their thoughts and who send me messages from time to time.  You’ll remember that I started blogging daily last year in hospital because I needed, desperately, to communicate while I wasn’t allowed visitors.  It’s a stark reminder that there are far too many people who can go for days without seeing or speaking to anyone.  Someone had told me that a few years ago — that of the 7 billion humans on this planet, at least 3 billion of them have nobody.  It was a sad and scary thought, but while we might quibble over the actual amount, it’s dreadful to realize that there are some very lonely people in the world.

Those 2 people had me thinking about a lot of things.  I hope that I would never be deliberately cruel to anyone, nor that I would be the cause of someone’s loneliness.  I also hope that I would always have people around to support, encourage and accompany me through life.  It’s tough being ill and having no company/phone calls/letters, etc; worse when you would wish yourself back into a painful situation just for company.  I’m also reminded to reach out to people that I haven’t seen in a while just to check in on them.

I don’t know who taught Jerry to tell time, or why they did it, but he’s letting me know that he’s ready for bed.  I’ll leave you here, and I hope that you can always find love and company when you need it.  Good night!