Cooler

It’s a beautiful, cool day today, with loads of sunshine and a cool breeze.  The humidity is lower than it was, and it’s picturesque.  Jerry is taking a nap at the moment; he’s been having a busy afternoon of schnoodle: singing along with a fire engines; chasing his ball around and being a little alarm for people who ring his doorbell.  Don is the recipient of several boxes of stuff — I have no idea, and am not asking — and has delusions of being a handyman (again, I ask no questions) plus is invested in a few games over the weekend.  We’ll see what he manages 😁

Yesterday was a series of medical appointments at opposite ends of the city.  Last night was my scan, scheduled for 7:30pm.  We got there, I called for a porter to wheel me upstairs, and after 3 phone calls to follow up, a porter arrived about an HOUR after I first called.  Thankfully, the helpful man on the phone contacted the CT unit to let them know that I was in the building waiting for a porter.  When I was done (within 15 minutes of my registration) the technician decided to wheel me back downstairs rather than wait for a porter… which tells you a lot, doesn’t it?  Today I met my friend from Vancouver for sushi (see photo of the deliciousness) as she’s flying back tonight.  We walked to the sushi restaurant at the end of my block, and I needed to pause to rest multiple times; I was literally breathless.  It’s somewhat more humid than I’d realized, and the exercise was also more than I anticipated.

I have to admit, and I confessed as much to my doctor yesterday, that I’m anxious about my scan results.  I mentioned that I know that anxiety and worry aren’t useful; he said they are useful for making things worse — but they emerge on schedule for every scan.  I can’t do anything to change the results, nor can I control the outcome but I still feel the stress.  All I can do is trust that God will guide me through and He’s not quite ready yet for me to come home.  I wish in some ways that I had the level of acceptance that the saints seem to, where they just serenely suffer quietly and never worry (although I’m pretty sure that their feelings are edited and redacted by their assorted biographers)  In any event, rest assured that I am not waiting patiently to shuffle off this mortal coil and I’m optimistic that I’ll be around for a while yet.  

I’m feeling totally wiped out after today’s exertions, and (delightfully) hungry!  Let’s celebrate the hunger part, and I’ll head off to bed early-ish and catch up on my sleep.  I’ll work out something for dinner, and we’ll sort that out.  Good night.