Mothers

Some dogwoods at sunset from Vancouver for your enjoyment.  The tulips are in full bloom in Ottawa, so they won’t last until Victoria Day, but they are beautiful.  Jerry has been on my lap as usual most of the day, and has been lying back like he’s reclining in a hammock when he’s not using me as a trampoline!  He’s right now supervising Don in the bathroom — apparently he thinks we need to be monitored everywhere.  Don was up late last night watching the women’s playoffs (which went to 3 OT periods, in case anyone cares) but he enjoyed it, so that’s all good.  He’s been watching other sports, including an international tournament (there’s no snow anywhere at this time of year, so why is there still hockey?) to keep him distracted from all the season finales of his favourite broadcast shows.

I’m confused… I haven’t had much of an appetite for the last couple of days, nor have I felt like eating, despite the meals that are in the freezer.  I’ve been knocking back Ensure again, just to keep my calories/nutrition intake going.  I am also struggling with waves of depression, which just popped up recently.  I think that I can attribute some of the change to the notification that I got that my next scan is coming up soon, and I’m still freaked out about the last set of results.  I know that worrying will accomplish nothing, and I’d do better to focus on things I can manage or the fun that I’ve planned for the next little while — my sister will be here again this week, along with a friend from Vancouver and we’re heading out to dinner; plus I’ve arranged to meet another friend tomorrow evening — but I think that the worry is in the background like rot.  I would love it if the next scan showed improvement in the tumours and I could pause treatment for at least a year… dream big, right?

It’s Mother’s Day today in Canada (and Trinidad & Tobago) and my Facebook page and WhatsApp chats are flooded with greetings for moms.  I spent a little time today looking at photos of my mommies — Mummy and Auntie Ming, who were almost inseparable.  Funny enough, my mother was a bit annoyed when we told her that; but they really did most things together.  I’ve got several years’ of them doing things together, dating back to the 1940s when my mother was a little girl.  It felt good looking back at them and remembering so many moments.  There were also a couple of photos of my grandmother, but many of those with her are not on my phone — I think that one of my projects will be to get our family photos scanned so I can see them more regularly… right now they’re in about 80 photo albums in filing cabinets in Trinidad.  

Anyway, happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and maternal figures; may you always know how valued you are and how much you’re loved.  To those whose mother’s have “gone before” may you always cherish the time you had together, and may it comfort you when you miss them.  Good night!