Midway

Happy start of your weekend!  Here’s a little comfort and love going your way from me on this wet and cool spring day!  We’re rolled up in blankets as it feels damp and chilly— which is always colder than just plain chilly! — and Jerry is lap hopping.  He’s shaking, I think he feels the cold, but he won’t wear his little jacket and prefers to snuggle under a blanket on a lap and use his little dictator paw to insist on tummy rubs!!  Don is glued to the news, specifically US politics, and isn’t responding to any conversation.  I’m being shushed when Wolf Blitzer is talking!  But I’ll get my revenge — when I’m done making dinner, I just won’t say anything and make him wait for his MWAHAHAH!  

So I didn’t post last night because I was feeling absolutely exhausted.  The night before I didn’t fall asleep until 5:30am, and woke up about an hour later, so I was really out of it all day.  I also had a minor headache from the lack of sleep.  Last night, I went to bed around 9:30pm, and slept uninterrupted until 7am!  I fell back asleep, and finally got up around 9:30am.  The only negative was that today my system decided to be a nuisance and I was not pleased by this.  As a result, I haven’t eaten much today, but will fix that soon.  My support worker was here again (YAY!!) and we planned out a few meals that we’ll prepare next week, so I can get past chemo with some ready made meals.

I don’t know why, but for the last few days I keep thinking that I’m in my childhood bedroom, and I’m disappointed when reality intrudes and I’m not.  The thing is that the door in my current room is in the same relative position as the door in my old room, so if I wake up in the night, I think that I’m there instead of here.  I keep expecting to see Auntie Ming walking past, and it’s a whole new pain when I remember that she’s no longer with us.  It’s obviously wishful thinking, but I do wonder why I’m retreating to my “safe place.”  It was suggested that I’m doing this because life is uncomfortable and tense these days with all the stuff swirling around in my head.  Part of me seems to want to retreat to a time and place where my biggest worry was which book to read next, because reality is unkind.  I don’t fully agree with this, but it does have a kernel of truth to it.  I admit that I’d like someone to say, “there, there, don’t worry!” and just give me a hug instead of me juggling the things in my life.

I got a text today to tell me that my little niece is doing very well in school.  She’s reading at a higher level than her class, she’s helpful to others and enjoys her various classes, plus is eager to learn more.  (Auntie has been charged with teaching her more fun stuff, which is a delight) That was a great boost to my afternoon, I tell you!  My nephew is still at daycare, but will be starting at elementary school in September.  He’s adjusted to being away from his sister, but they’re still both happiest when they’re together.  

I’m about ready to fall asleep again; but I need to eat first, and I’m cooking some ribs for tonight’s dinner.  There’s a real chance that I’ll fall asleep without eating, as my eyes are closing involuntarily!  I think I’ll go visit the exhibition to get a sense of panic started.  Good night!