Tic… tic.. tic…

It was a lovely rainy morning, which cleared up during the day.  I’m not certain exactly when, but it suddenly got sunny… and this evening, we’re again under cloud cover.  I’m delighted to report that the pain in my back is mostly gone, happy dances all around! We think that it’s the result of radiation a few weeks ago.  It’s good, and I’m happy.  The pain returns if I “exert” myself, which means that I bend over to pick up something from the floor.  That’s just… less than optimal!!  But I’m learning how to adapt, so it’s better than it was.  We’ll see how things shake out, as it’s one of those things.  Jerry has been on my lap most of the day — in fact, when the phone rings, he leaps onto my lap and rolls onto his back…. See how he’s curled into my arm there?  Silly, spoiled pup!  Thankfully Don is doing better today, which is great.  I like it when my boys are in good health.  I feel so much happier when I don’t have to worry about them!

Today is one of those days when I miss my mom and I want to have a chat with her.  It’s odd.  I do think about her frequently and there are times when I just want to ask her tons of questions.  But unfortunately that’s not an option.  I also would like to talk to my grandmother and have her insights into life.  Well, more specifically, into my life and choices! I’d like to know what she thinks of my decisions. I think I know what some of them are likely to be, but the others?  Anyone else ever want to talk to someone who’s passed?  I had a friend who had said to me that my mother’s passing might be a sign that my illness was over… which is clearly isn’t.  Instead, I have said that I’m going to assume that I’ve taken on all the cancer for my family. It’s a possible option?  We can see.

I’ve been dealing with chemo fog today.  It’s very annoying as I feel disoriented and worse, I forget words and feel like I’m remarkably dumb, because things don’t make much sense.  So incredibly frustrating!  I know that it’s temporary but while it’s in effect, I feel super stupid!  So, I’m going to go to bed before I say or do something remarkably dumb!  Good night my friends.  Sleep well.