Shopping

Ugh! The cold has descended on us, and I'm not happy with it. Of course, living where I do, cold is a feature for months on end, so whining does nothing except annoy others. Jerry, for reasons known only to himself, has been growling and barking at the door. I go to check, and the hall is empty, but the tiny monster is still in guard mode-not relaxing. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee today. but she cancelled because work was busier than expected. I quietly confess that I was tired, so I wasn't unhappy to get the cancellation message. Yesterday we did the first (of possibly 3) grocery runs. I had a small argument-I don't use self- checkout. My view is that I don't work there, so I think I should use the actual cashier. Yes, I'm a curmudgeon. Anyway, the store had zero open cashiers, so I was forced to self-serve. I pressed the "accessibility" button, and someone came over to say that I could check myself out. She was in a dreadful temper when I refused. I also contemplated walking off and leaving the full cart... I really dislike the idea of providing unpaid labour to companies who make huge profits and don't pay their actual workers a decent wage. I also don't use self check-in at the airport, nor at fast-food chains. I know it puts me in (another) minority, but I'm used to that. I don't mind waiting in line, or chatting with the cashier (but I find customers annoying)

The thing is, that as the holidays get closer crowds get worse, tempers fray and the "magic of the season" vanishes in waves of negativity. I do understand that people are stressed, and that leads to short tempers. I honestly don't understand why people put so much pressure on themselves. The idea of spending oneself into debt to buy items that will mostly sit unused or be broken in moments is one that I don't get. This is where all the parents point out that my lack of children skews my thinking, but I don't have- and never did-any problems saying, "no," to a child, and then dealing with the disappointment. In fairness, I also went hunting for that rare Pokemon/ Power Rangers/Dora toy for my nieces, nephews and godkids. But I had backup, less glamorous, gifts and in the 30+ years I've been doing gifts, nobody ever melted down from a lack of expensive, rare toys. I intend to continue using that as my guide... I may be wrong, but "my" kids tell me that their favourite memories are with family and not much of gifts. Perhaps if we kept that in mind it would reduce the stress on parents?

When I was very young-about 5- I remember my father gave us wood slats for Christmas. We were confused, but the slats were used to build our swing that we used for years. What I learned from that was that it's really not necessary to splurge. I don't remember what our other gifts were that year, but I do remember the swing seats. Gifts are nice to have, definitely, but are not proof of love, nor do they need to be expensive. I had this conversation with my friend who was worried that her child-being an only child of parents who had only one sibling-wouldn't have the pile of gifts their friends with more aunts and uncles did. She struggled with guilt at not being wealthy, and her parents reminded her that she never had a mountain of gifts either... Ask yourself, is it more important for children to learn the value of money, or to brag about how many gifts they got? Do you want to pass on stress and anxiety or happiness and quality family experiences? We'll discuss awkward family dynamics another time! I'm fortunate never to have had one of those stereotypical fraught family gatherings that are standard in movies and jokes.

That ends my soapbox moment... less stress is our aim, right? I've got to go calm down a tiny security system who's on overdrive. Good night!