Chemo day 4

We were fortunate today.  Heading into the hospital, it was overcast but dry; and we were going against traffic, so it didn’t take long to get there.  It was colder than yesterday, with a sneaky wind that just crept into any crevice… this is where I learnt the weak spots in my coat!  When we left the hospital, snow had started and it got progressively heavier on the way home.  There’s a storm forecast on the weekend, so I’m happier that I have no appointments for a few days!  Jerry is sulking because he’s not allowed on me, nor to lick me for a few days — I’m toxic for a few days after chemo, and I don’t want to risk making him ill.  He spent the morning on my lap, but since I got picked up he’s not allowed.  He’s now on Don, grumbling about discrimination against puppies.  Don is curled up, cuddling Jerry like a teddy, and we’re watching TV.  He was up watching CNN and the run up to the US elections late last night, so he was tired this morning.  I have a feeling he’ll crash earlier than I will tonight!

My session ran a little later than expected today, but not by too much.  I’m not thrilled by the ice baths for my hands and feet, but I have a little prejudice and I like my finger- and toenails, so I pack them deep until I can’t feel anything any longer.  The second drug that they give me has a risk of affecting the nails, so ice baths are the recommended treatment.  The nurses have fun when I moan about the cold, and offer to put me outdoors instead of leaving me inside, but I prefer to be inside.  They also let me know that I’m anaemic (not really a surprise) and I’ve been asked to call in if I have certain symptoms, which I thankfully do not!  I’m also happy to report that my weight is showing as over 119lbs, so we agree that the scale was wonky last week.  I feel a little drained now, after treatment; I had lunch (glad we were able to cook yesterday) and I’m just drinking loads of water and resting.  I’ll resume hydration tomorrow so I’m waiting for the nurse to call to let me know their planned arrival time (hopefully not something as cruel as before 9am)

The wind today was that kind that finds every kink and opening to sneak in and chill you thoroughly; I now know where all the weaknesses in my jacket are… I had planned to get a new one at the end of last winter, but couldn’t find one that I liked (and I was unwilling to pay full price) so I decided to keep it for another year.  I’m back to looking for coats, and I’d identified a couple that I liked, but the sizes didn’t work — they’re all (😝 ironically) too big!  I honestly don’t know what size I am any longer, mostly because of my hernia which throws off my waist measurement, and my kyphosis which throws off my chest measurement.  My legs, when I looked in the mirror, are like matchsticks, as are my arms and my upper body is scrawny.  Then there’s my hernia.  😞  It not only throws off my ability to assess size, I don’t know how to dress my body shape.  I’m more apple shaped than my usual “V” and I have to relearn clothing shapes for myself.  Last night, I started browsing for jackets and wound up shopping for resort clothes instead 😆 What does that tell you about my mindset?  Why are resort clothes so tempting?  And lovely patterns in what my dad used to call “cosquel” colours with abstract patterns on pants with bold tops?  I just love those!  I haven’t bought any, but my shopping cart on one app contains over $600 worth of clothes with allegedly $300 in discounts.  The other has over $500.  I did what I used to do when I shopped with my sister-friend; I’d pick out a heap of clothes, paying no attention to anything except colour and style, then try stuff on, and gradually whittle the pile down to something reasonable.  I’ll do the same, probably, or more likely just delete the contents online.  My siblings have persuaded me to buy something to treat myself, so I’ll find a couple of pretty pieces and do just that.

Jerry has moved to lying on my feet, since Don went into the kitchen.  I’m not yet hungry so I’m not having supper just yet.  We’ve paused the PVR watching until he gets back, but we’re on to detective shows now.  It’s too early to go to bed, but I am seriously tempted to just change into my pj’s and crawl under my blanket for the night!  Happening soon, I guarantee it!  Good night!