Resolutions? Nah.

My dears, Canadians are a strange race.  No matter what the season, they always begin by complaining that it’s late, it’s missing, we are going to have a year without it… then they complain that it’s too much of what they want.  Summer is too hot, winter too cold, it’s never enough.  In keeping with this, here we are, January 3, and the panic “We have NO WINTER!!!” Has already started, just as the forecast calls for an overnight temperature of -16C. 😞 But they complain… I just 🙄 and continue to grumble about the cold!  Jerry is in disgrace; he refused to listen today and barked for almost 3 hours non-stop for no reason whatsoever.  He’s now lying on my feet, yipping.  Don is happy about the results of one game, and has been rewatching the highlights and pausing the news to emphasize to me how great the results are 😆 Whatever makes him happy, I’ll just go along with things.

I had another early day today; the nurse showed up shortly after 8am, which is not a time that I like.  When I was at work, I didn’t like 8am meetings either, even though I started work at 7:30.  As I was already awake, we decided that I’d go get my bloodwork done in preparation for tomorrow’s chemo session.  That was quick; I was in and out in about 15 minutes.  It took longer to get there and back than to draw blood!  I’ve been happily eating the leftovers in my fridge and I’ll be taking out another package tonight so I’ll have lunch ready tomorrow.  There’s this little battle of do I keep the food I really like for later, or eat it all now while it’s relatively the most fresh?  It’s impossible to find here, I don’t know when next I’m heading Toronto-wards, so I don’t want to run out immediately, but it’s so yummy good that I want to eat it all now!  (Channeling Veruca Salt of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, book, not movies.  Willy Wonka just whispers quietly, “No, stop, little girl; that’s not a good idea.” 😝)  My Jamaican friend just dropped off a bottle of homemade sorrel (accompanied by the traditional litany of excuses as to why it’s not as good as I might expect and she’s so sorry… If food ever arrives without those excuses it’s probably store bought 😆) and received in exchange some pastelles (for which I apologized that I didn’t make them, they’re not great, I didn’t cook this year, and while these are homemade, they might not be what she’s expecting.)  As I said… 

I’ve received a couple of messages from people commenting that they agree with me in not making resolutions.  They cited various reasons, but I think that the main one is that we’re now adults who are basically happy with ourselves.  My social media feeds are buckling under the influx of weight loss/get fit/anti aging ads, and the ones that have snuck in offering to help enlarge parts I don’t possess… I find it tragic that the models they use for weight loss are often at a healthy weight in the “before” shots, but swamped in oversized sweaters… Talk about feeding body image negativity!  I’m sorry now that I spent so many years in my youth obsessing about my weight and trying so many diet programs.  Although, if I’m honest, I’m still unhappy with my body, which is depressing for me to look at.  I’m honoured, though, that the small people seem not to notice all the flaws I see with myself.  They just see “Auntie Sonja” and climb into my lap disregarding all the things I would change.  I think I’ll adopt their approach, because they make me so happy.

In quick updates, I did find a birthday gift for my niece, which includes the toys she requested in her preferred colour.  My fingers are crossed that her parcel arrives on time; the shipping window suggests that the early date is 4 days ahead of her birthday, and the later date is after.  Hopefully it gets there on time.  I miss spending time with my family, which is a lot larger than my 3-sisters-and-4-brothers and the hordes of nephews, nieces and godchildren.  I’d like to be able to spend a few days just basking in the love of family and friends for a while.  For tonight, though, I’ll just go have something to eat, watch a cozy mystery and play with a small dog who thinks he’s severely neglected!  Good night!