Milestone!

January weather continues, and while I’m not its biggest fan, I’m even less a fan of traditional February weather!  In the past 25 years, it was a standing joke that a condition of my continued employment was a month in the Caribbean.  😝  The first time I stayed here in February was also the first time I experienced -50 temperatures, with windchills close to -60!  I vowed that never again would I do that!  I did fairly well until the pandemic, then, well, all bets were off.  I think I need a Star Trek-like transporter so I can be in Trinidad, soaking up sun, warmth and many hugs instead of here with the sad grey skies… Jerry is hiding out with Don right now and has spent the afternoon on his lap instead of mine.  I’m admittedly jealous as usually I’m the dog-bed-du-choix!  Don’s going into withdrawal, as one of his sports is coming to an end.  There were FIVE games on today!  FIVE!!!  Men just morph into a couch and don’t move when that happens!  Who on earth could pay attention to that many games without turning into a beanbag?

My sleep has been erratic for the last couple of nights.  I have trouble falling asleep, and once I do, I wake up pretty much every hour for a few minutes so I don’t feel fully rested, but I equally don’t fall asleep in the afternoon.  Happy to report, though, that my breathing is easier, and I’m walking more steadily, so the new blood seems to have helped.  Not yet at the dancing and high kicks stage, but definitely more stable!  Next “challenge” is to find enough moisturizer to keep my skin from peeling and feeling like it’s auditioning for the role of “Gobi desert floor”!  Everything feels so dry!  I’ve been practically bathing in the stuff, and I get temporary relief, but between winter weather and chemo meds, my skin is miserable.  I guess that I should be happy that I have no hair, or it would be equally sad… my scalp is peeling too!  I had some of the homemade stew-and-patchoi that my worker made yesterday; it was good.  I think next round will be coocoo, lentils and something — either fish or chicken — because I haven’t had for a while.  The only hesitation would be that I only have salmon, and that’s just not right for coocoo and lentils, so it may be chicken.

Thank you to everyone who sent me such lovely notes about yesterday’s article.  Yes, as my uncle pointed out, it was surprisingly brief for someone as garrulous as myself (his words) but the journalist is evidently extremely brilliant at distilling the essence out of many words.  We spoke for 30 minutes, and I talked about my diagnosis, my surgeries, my work life, the experience of adjusting to my new reality and what I thought I wanted to share most with people.  So it emerged as “look after yourself, learn to ask for help and prioritize relationships.”  I’d add to that do what makes you happy.  In my case, that would include getting enough energy to travel again!  Neil and Shane, I do hope to hug you in person again soon!  Not to mention my kids, and my other friends and relatives.  There’s a long list!

I also realized yesterday that we’ve crossed 1000 posts in this blog!  🎆  That number sneaked by a few days ago, but we’re already into the second millennium of posts here.  Thank you all for your support — without your comments and encouragement I’d probably have petered out a while ago, like in the earlier days when I posted haphazardly.  I’m humbled again that you stick around to find out what’s happening, and thanks to those of you who reach out to ask about me if I skip posting.  I really appreciate your feedback and messages, as it lets me know that you’re engaged in my ramblings.  It is, as you know, both a form of therapy for me, as it helps me keep grounded, and a comparatively simple way for me to keep a lot of people updated on my progress.  If I withhold details it’s because they are too raw for me, and until last year, it was also to protect my dad from worry.  I will reiterate that I will always be honest in my writings, and I won’t censor my days when I have negative feelings even if I hate being that vulnerable.  Thanks for getting me through some rough patches.  Allyuh is awesomest. 😘

My worker has just finished; she bathed and changed me, and made sure that I have dinner ready to go whenever I’m hungry.  Anyone else find that they crave seconds of a can of Coca-Cola specifically?  I want more, but so far I’ve restrained my urges and just go slowly with my glass.  What do you do to control the cravings?  I’ve got several justifications which I’m not letting myself use on this… including “you need to gain some weight and therefore calories are your friends!”  Thoughts?  That’s about it for tonight, so Good night!