Day after

It’s stopped raining, but the heat and humidity have settled in and are getting a bit too comfortable for anyone’s liking.  Personally, I’d like it to be about 10 degrees cooler, but you can’t have everything, can you?  It promises to be a bit less cloying over the next few days, so we’ll see.  Jerry is not happy, as I don’t allow him on me for a couple of days post-chemo (I’m still somewhat toxic, and he’s vomited after licking me before, which I don’t like)  He lets me know that he disapproves strongly of this, and right now is at my feet sulking ostentatiously and ripping the stuffing out of his bed…  Don is recuperating from yesterday; he didn’t sleep well the night before for fear of missing his alarm, and sat in the car while I was getting treatment so was in discomfort when we got home, not helped by the humidity.  He’s been dozing off and on all day and is looking less pale than before.  We did have a heated political debate yesterday, and my sister just asked “why are you even engaging?  You know he’s just being provoking!” (Which is true, but I was getting heated with the “news people” who were asking some really dumb questions!)

I did my chemo yesterday, and was surprised that masks are now totally optional and the plexiglass at reception has been removed for the first time since the pandemic.  It’s just great!  (I did wear a mask in the waiting room; sick people abound and better safe than sorry, right?)  I have to confess that I was supremely stupid yesterday and didn’t take my anti-nausea meds before treatment so by the time I got home I was vomiting heavily.  I immediately swallowed the pills that I should have taken earlier, and suffered for a while until they took effect.  Thankfully I was ok, and I reheated one of my frozen prepared meals, so I did eat.  This morning I burned through a good bit of energy to cook one of my mom’s specialties for breakfast (she didn’t do it very often, as it’s a bit fiddly, but it never lasted long when she made it) and I have some extra for tomorrow 😁  I’d also pulled out some chicken for my worker to cook but she cancelled both yesterday and today, so I’ll have to do something with it so it doesn’t have to be thrown out.  I hate tossing food, and have horrified my dietitian by eating food that’s older than 48 hours (even if it’s been refrigerated the whole time.)  She was of the view that food should be thrown out after 24 hours in the fridge… rich, spoiled person she must be!  I’d really only do that with leftover restaurant food, as I never know how long it was sitting in a warming pan before it gets to me, so I try not to have too much leftover restaurant food either.

I have to say that there is a persistent untruth in our society that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.”  I beg to disagree most emphatically.  There are many of them, and far too often they’re allowed to persist and propagate.  A simple example of one is “are you asleep?”  It falls into the category of not observing what’s around.  I mean, if someone is lying down, eyes closed, and breathing regularly, it’s safe to think that they’re asleep, or trying to fall asleep.  I had one intern (who shall forever be my warning to any medical professional of how not to behave; he will never again be allowed to treat me without a handler even if he is appointed head of the hospital in some dystopian system) ask me “which foot is more swollen?” as he observed the bones in both my feet and no evidence of any swelling.  It’s upsetting to see these questions appear in “news” interviews as well — “did you see any injuries” to someone who just escaped from a riot/shooting/fire where there are clearly injured people being treated in the field of the camera.  And this week:  “can you guarantee that you can serve for 4 years?” “Can you assure everyone that you won’t have any more bad days?” “Where will you be in 3 years?”  All utterly stupid.  Who can guarantee that they’re going to be alive in 4 years?  There’s a high probability, but it’s not 100%.  Accidents happen; illness happens — I thought I’d still be working for another 10 years at this stage, but here I am!  And really, how does anyone promise not to have a bad day?  On the face of it, that’s just moronic.

I think that we should stop telling people that there are no stupid questions.  Encourage them to think before asking; I’d say that they shouldn’t feel stupid for asking a question, but not if it’s one like the examples I gave.  I once had someone ask, “what time is the 2pm meeting?”  My jaw dropped, and I gave them what’s apparently called “the Crosby death stare” which seems to convey that I don’t have much of an opinion of their intelligence and it apparently stings.  I just asked them to repeat the question and listen to themselves, and if they still had a problem then they weren’t included.  They went red, mumbled something and since then have shown a remarkable level of insight.  But honestly, I think that discouraging people from talking just to say that they’re in a discussion will lead to better quality of interaction.  It’s enough to say “I agree” without repeating what a previous speaker said.  “I don’t have anything new to add” is an acceptable response, too.  My friend who worked in conflict management would probably have a lot to tell me about being understanding and appreciating different communication styles (I’m not gonna lie, he was brilliant at that and helped me actually change a lot) but I still sometimes slip and get annoyed. 

Having said all of that, I think I’ll stop now, having made a point 😀  Perhaps I should order something sweet and calorific to maybe improve my mood?  I think I’m tired, although I did sleep a lot last night.  I’ll sleep late tomorrow too, probably.  Good night!