Warm day

Puppy tax!  This was how I spent the first hour or so today… I barely sat down before my lap was filled by a little, extremely comfortable, black dog who stretched out on his back and insisted on having a tummy massage!  He’s spent a little while chasing his ball, barking at my support worker and is now having a nap on his pillow.  Don is “watching” baseball, but I’m hearing snores, so I’m not sure how much he’s taking in — which is surprising, since his team is finally ahead (not sure that will last, though)

Back to erratic sleep… I didn’t drop off until after 2am, and was awake practically every hour after that until 6, when I slept until 10:45.  It’s annoying, since the rest of the day I feel sluggish and droopy.  I’ve also realized that I am probably hungrier than I thought, but food doesn’t tempt me, which is a shame.  I may be paranoid, but I am now convinced that the agency is deliberately sending me male support workers.  How, after 4 years where I had a woman every day, and a man maybe once every 2 months, am I suddenly receiving different men 6 days a week?  I don’t believe in coincidences like that, and I’m highly suspicious of their actions.  The manager has offered to do a home visit to “supervise my bathing” but I said that my baths are not a spectator event and I’m not having 2 people watching me sit shivering under a shower.  I think that’s really inappropriate; she’s said that it’s “to ensure that the workers are providing adequate support.”  I’ll be very happy if I can get rid of her or the agency, but… 🤬  I’ll just engage my inner public servant, document everything and keep meticulous records of my requests, her responses and what happens.  It’s making me extremely stressed, and I think it’s affecting both my sleep and my appetite, which has negative implications for my energy.  Part of me is trying to say that I should just learn to adjust, but it’s really difficult for me.

Because I am in this zone, my ability to laugh at the stupidity of people is somewhat diminished, so when someone sent me a message that “a doctor who prescribes medicine without addressing your diet and lifestyle is a pusher,”  I had to forcibly stop myself from flaming back at them.  I have to ask why some people seem to think that the medical profession exists to keep people sick?  I keep hearing that (usually from people who then try to persuade me to try their “amazing” homeopath/herbalist/clairvoyant who diagnosed that they needed a “liver detox” [doesn’t exist] and they feel SO much better!)  I’m trying to be patient and not unleash a tsunami of sarcasm on them, but in this current state, it’s not easy.

I may just call on a couple of my friends to reply to some of those messages; they are less tactful than I am and quite protective of me… Jo, you’re up!  Good night!