Sluggish

The end my strawberry cream cake… so yummy, very decadent, and I hope that it made up at least some of the calorie deficit!  We’re under a thunderstorm watch here, and it feels like it.  The air is oppressive and it’s very still and humid.  The kind of weather that would generate migraines in the old days when I suffered from those.  Just ugh! 😩 Jerry doesn’t particularly like this weather; he gets restless and unsettled.  It’s odd, since fireworks don’t seem to distress him at all, but thunder and wind make him want to hide under someone.  He’s been coming to get extra affection, and keeps moving from one to the other of us.  Don, of course, is glued to one of those never ending games that go nowhere, interspersed with watching cars drive in a loop endlessly… there’s a theme there, but I get mocked for watching reruns of The Simpsons!

I had difficulty sleeping last night, I don’t know why exactly.  I was tired, my eyes didn’t want to stay open, but I just couldn’t fall asleep.  When I finally did, I didn’t wake up until after 11am.  I’ve been feeling unsteady and ‘off’ all day, which is probably partly due to dehydration (I slept so solidly that I didn’t drink anything all night, and waking when I did it was late) and to the fog that lingers when you don’t sleep well.  Trying to perk up a bit, although in this heat I just want to go nap longer…

Much to my disappointment, my regular support worker told me today that she will be resigning in September and going to work full time at the elementary school.  The hours are more regular, the pay is about the same, and the work seems to be shared among several assistants.  I want to stamp and cry, but that won’t help, plus it’s selfish — I mean, she has a chance for improved working conditions and steady income, so wanting her to stay just for me is not fair to her.  It is a shame, and I will have to now hope for a replacement who’s reliable, good and helpful (as compared to some whose first word is “NO!” when asked to do anything!) 

Just a quick thank you to everyone who has been so sweet and supportive lately.  I find it very difficult to ask for help, and even more to accept it, but I have been learning to do just that.  Special thanks to my friends who haven’t given up on me even when I don’t feel inclined to reach out.  Sometimes I just want to avoid people, but there are a couple who won’t let me get away with that for too long, as it’s too easy to become isolated and then difficult to break that pattern!  

Off I go now to have some dinner.  She made me a lovely lo mein yesterday, and I’ve got enough for about 6 meals, so I’ll have one now.  So easy! Plate, reheat, eat!  And it tastes how I like it, since it was my recipe 😁  Good night!