Reactions

Summer is settling in; it’s forecast to be warm and sunny for the next week or so, which is fine by me (rain is also fine; as long as we have no ice rain, life is good.) Jerry is in the mood to play, and has been throwing his ball when he’s not jumping on my lap and he’s keeping Don from napping on the sofa.  It’s a sleepy summer afternoon, and if I were in the countryside, it’s the kind of weather where you’d sit on the porch with a cold drink and rock yourself asleep while watching the birds and insects…

I am still working on trying to eat more.  Today’s substitution was cream instead of milk in my tea… I can’t yet use it for things like cereal, but it works with oatmeal (which I’m not really eating because it’s too low calorie.)  My fibre content, for those of you who are concerned, is coming from dates and prunes and the odd supplement.  (I rather like dates; and in a few weeks, I’ll be double fisting plums 😆)  I’m really tempted to sew a couple of fishing sinkers into my hems so when I get weighed they’ll add to my overall reading… but then, that might backfire too easily!

I wanted to share the stories of 3 reactions that I got between yesterday and today and get your thoughts, please.

The first was yesterday, when I went into the hospital.  The last time that I was there, the volunteer by the door (lovely woman) helped me into a wheelchair and got me to my appointments.  She saw me yesterday and came over to say that she’d been thinking about me since then, as I was clearly in very bad shape when I entered.  I told her that I’d been admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks, but I was doing better, and thanked her for her help.  She refused the thanks, saying that it was just her job, and offered to look out for me on future visits as she was so relieved that I was OK — she said I never came out that day, and she didn’t know what to think!

The second is that my nurse arrived today, and he’s someone who used to be my nurse some years ago, but then he changed agencies and went on with life.  When he saw me today he said, “You’re about half of what you were when I was here last!” I said yes, that’s the cancer.  He sympathized and told me about his experiences with having to go to the emergency room and getting treatment for an ailment that resulted in him losing 20kg… then he started talking about music, cruises and summer plans (all ordinary stuff)  Before he left, he commented again on my weight loss and said that it was a pity that cancer was so harsh.

The third was an article that I got sent from a friend, talking about a young actor (who would have been my age) who was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and died within a year of diagnosis.  Then they added, “next time you feel sorry for yourself, read this.”  I was hurt by the comment and I replied that they had been insensitive in saying that; I’m entitled to my feelings and it doesn’t help to be told “stop being sad just because you’re dealing with a horrible illness.”  I got back a reply “we have nothing to say to each other” and I’ve been blocked… I’m in shock, since I thought that my reply was respectful but it seems that they were deeply offended.

I thought that the first encounter was lovely, kind and just awesome; the second awkward but well intentioned and the third just unnecessary… should I just have ignored the comment?  I feel badly at losing someone I’ve known for over 40 years, but I really thought the insensitivity was too much.  What do you think?

I’m indulging in some cherries at the moment — not the highest calories or anything, but delicious!  I know it’s early, but this iPad needs charging so before I shut down, I thought I would quickly send this out.  Good night!