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Nightmare

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It’s been beautifully warm the last few days, with highs above 20C.  I’m in my happy element with that, I assure you.  It’s rainy, windy, heavily overcast, but warm, so I’ll take that happily.  I prefer the warm, even with rain, over cold and chilly… that is not a surprise to anyone, right?  Jerry is having routine outbursts of barking… he’ll be lying on the sofa, and suddenly start barking, running to the door and sounding quite vicious  I have no idea why; there’s nobody at the door, nobody in the hallway and no reason for the noise.  He also ignores all commands and I’m at a loss to know what to do.  Don, thankfully, has a bit of energy and has been more mobile than previously, so I am happy and relieved about that.  There are some moments of stiffness and aches, but he seems to be in good shape.   I got my new walker today!  (See photo)  The loaner will go back soon, and since it was a warm day we decided to take a drive and look at what’s available.  This little one folds up to be
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Nov

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Well, fall weather is in full swing.  Below zero overnight, above 20C daytime.  No wonder people get sick!  Those swings are definitely hard on the body, and worse with downpours (like most of the day) with strong winds and flurries.  We had our first snow of the season overnight; it didn’t last, but it was temporarily white.  I’ve had a dog on my lap getting tangled in the crochet blanket most of the day.  He gets upset because his claws get trapped and I get upset because it’s going to leave holes.  Don was feeling a bit more energetic today, so that’s always encouraging for me. My hydration is continuing, and I have a little more energy and my blood pressure is creeping up, which is good (it was in the 70s, so abysmal)  I’m also able to eat a bit more, although I’m not sure if I’m gaining any weight.  My clothes are of no use as an indicator, as everything is overly large on me, so I can’t tell if things are bigger or not.  I can probably fit a second person into my winter coat, and
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All souls

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Today started off rainy, blustery and distinctly chilly.  The wind was quite strong from last night and carried on until just after noon.  It’s sunny now, but brisk, so it’s not as cold as it was.  Jerry is being extra mischievous today; he’s been hooking his claws in my new blanket and getting caught in the crochet, then he goes romping around trying to sneak food from one or the other of us.  He’s very attached to the former “fur” trim of my coat, and shakes it aggressively.  Don’s new medication arrived, and he’s been grumbling about the expense and saying that the over the counter version is cheaper.  It is, but the dose is about one-tenth of the prescription.  He’ll adjust once he tries it, I’m sure! For the last few nights, I’ve gone in to bed, snuggled under the covers to get warm, then I fall asleep with the light on and totally unaware of that fact.  I’ll wake up 2 - 3 hours later, turn off the light, plug in my electronics and go back to sleep.  It’s funny, because I seem to
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Shubh Divali

 It is 23C today.  That’s such a gorgeous, perfect temperature!  I can’t complain at all about this, so I’m soaking up the warmth, and just delighted at how lovely it is.  It’s also Halloween (something I don’t celebrate) but the kids should enjoy their wandering and begging as it’s not going to be too cold.  Jerry is right now draped over Don’s shoulder, holding a ball in his mouth and glaring at me.  He got upset with me because I had to yell at him for not listening and getting into mischief.  Don is still feeling off, and his knee continues to be a source of pain.  His doctor has prescribed a compound medication which should be delivered tomorrow and it will hopefully help his pain. I’m hooked up to an IV for hydration for the next week.  We’re hoping that it will help me feel better.  It’s about 8 hours a day and the nurse comes every morning to set it up.  I’ve noticed today that I don’t feel quite as drained although I’m still hungry.  My PSW came over and I asked her to please
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Down

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Oak trees dressed in all their autumnal glory.  There were also several squirrels busily gathering acorns in preparation for winter… they’re also looking quite plump, so if the traditional lore is correct, we’ll have a snowy, cold, long winter.  It was distinctly cold this morning; wake up temperature was 1C and went all the way up to about 8.  Very chilly indeed.  Jerry is sulking at me, because he was alone for a couple of hours and he thinks that he’s gasoline.  Don’s knee continues to be painful and problematic, but somewhat better today so he was able to move a bit more easily, which is (of course) a relief to me. I had an appointment this morning with my doctor at the hospital and I did blood work at the same time, just to see how I was progressing.  I reported to my doctors about my fall on Thursday, and they checked my blood pressure to see if it dropped significantly when I changed position.  It doesn’t change dramatically so I’m not at an elevated risk for falls (thank goodne
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Sun

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Cue the grumbling about the weather… although I think I’ll hold off for a bit as it’s comparatively mild today and there’s lower temperatures forecast for later this week.  It’s overcast with a dampness that just drags life down a bit, but it’s really not too bad.  It’s getting noticeably darker earlier, and by 4:30 we’re already approaching brillig ( Jabberwocky  from Alice ) and it’s starting to feel depressive.  Many people point out that November is their least favourite month as it tends to be grey, damp, chilly and dark!  Jerry spent the morning firmly planted on my lap and refused to move, just batted  me in the face with his paw if I hinted that he should change position.  Don is still in pain from his knee, and is regulating his use of his pain meds as the side effects aren’t the most fun things!  He’s been running the percussion massager quite a bit to relieve some of the stiffness.  He has a doctor’s appointment this week, so that should help! I slept for about 2 hours, woke
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OK

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Ah, autumn… You know I’m not thrilled with colder weather; today was comparatively mild, but it’s definitely getting cooler.  Expect some major whining as the temperature drops.  You’ve been warned 😜  I’m watching a small dog stretching and rolling all over the sofa… he’s being all wriggly and playful since my worker left.  Don’s knee is giving him considerable difficulty, and he’s walking very slowly and with pain.  He says that it’s “clicking” and it “sticks” so he has more pain.   So I apologize for causing so much worry yesterday.  I appreciate your care and concern, I do.  I’m OK today; I slept deeply last night without  the need of any medications and made up for the night before.  I also got my other pain meds, that are less dramatic in their effect on my sleep, but I only needed 1 in the middle of the afternoon, so that’s also great.  I woke up this morning absolutely ravenous, and had a really good meal.  Happy to report that I’ve been able to eat some curry and my tummy hasn
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Uh-oh…

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Someone turned the heat down overnight, and from all reports, they’re intending to turn it completely off  tonight!  Apparently the overnight temperature is supposed to be around freezing, and I’m not thrilled in the least by that.  I definitely think I’m in the wrong part of the wrong part of the country.  It’s warmer in southern Ontario, although not by much.  The Caribbean tempts, as it often does… Jerry is again attacking the trim of my coat, and is shaking it when he’s not growling and trying to subdue it into a more compliant position!  Don’s been suffering a bit, he says that his knee “locks up” and is painful when he’s trying to stand or walk on it.  He’s making an accompanying soundtrack of groans when he walks across the room.  His support worker has been asking for more work to do, which is diametrically opposed to mine, who prefers to sit and watch me… we’ll sort it out and find a balance. For the record, taking an opioid painkiller before bed results in not sleeping until
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Afternoon

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It’s been literally warm  the last couple of days.  Can you imagine, 23C!  Sunny!  It’s just such a lovely surprise.  It won’t last, I know, and I’m not crazy about what’s coming, because I am a whiner and a wimp where winter weather is concerned.  Instead, I’m enjoying this lovely photo of a moonlit beach in Trinidad, where I can pretend I’m enjoying the warm breeze and smelling the salt air… The things I do to keep my spirits up when I feel less than chipper.  Jerry has been on my lap until a moment ago when I threw him off so I could type.  He’s standing next to me, giving me a stink eye and looking for a way to jump back on my lap.  The boys were happy to have me back home, and Jerry became even more Velcro than usual!  Don is having a nap right now; he says that he’s been sleeping better, although he falls asleep late.  I’m of the opinion that he’s watching far too much Cheeto-TV to get a good rest and he should find something else to watch after I go to bed! I’m sleeping quite we
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End of trip

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I know I was quiet for the last 2 days, but I was in Montreal.  The weather was mild, warm and lovely with loads of autumn sunshine, cold in the mornings and late evenings but beautiful during the day (and a couple of Canadians complained that 18C was “really hot”, silly wabbits!)  It was pleasant enough to discard coats and just have a shawl in case of cool breezes.  According to all reports, the boys were doing fine in my absence, although from all accounts Don wasn’t doing much eating or cooking, so I’m not sure what state he’s in when I get back tonight.  Jerry ignored me as usual when I was on the phone and wouldn’t even flick an ear to pretend that he was listening to me.  We had to leave him home when Don drove me to the station, and when he got back, Jerry attached himself and wouldn’t budge! Normally when I’m in a hotel or a strange room, I have difficulty sleeping; not this weekend.  I got into my pillow fort (I always build one in a hotel bed) snuggled under my comforter and
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Prep

We’re indulging in petit câreme right now; the weather is mild and sunny and pretending to be late summer instead of mid-autumn.  The day starts off cold — it was below 0 last night - but it’s quite warm this afternoon and pleasantly sunny.  The dog is happily shredding stuff and is quiet, which makes me nervous!  Don is taking a nap, and I rather think that his nights are often broken by pain.  I can’t do anything to help unfortunately.  His personal support worker is due to start tomorrow, so stand by for reports. I had such a lovely sleep last night.  I didn’t want to get out of my nice, warm, cozy blanket cocoon, but nature intervened.  I dropped into a deep sleep shortly before midnight and only cracked open an eye at a few minutes to 8am.  I went back to sleep shortly thereafter, and never stirred until almost 11.  So delicious.  No calls, no interruptions.  I had a fairly large lunch, which was quite good, and I’ll work out something for dinner.  I treated myself to my favourite
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Comfort

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It’s a lovely, sunny day today, and I must admit that it’s lovely to see the sun after clouds for a while.  I have a small dog curled up on my toes after wreaking destruction on my coat trim (he refuses to relinquish it!) a delivery box, the remains of his pillow and a paper towel… Don is feeling OK, so I’m glad about that.  He had a broken night when he took his pain meds too late, and he lay awake until about 6am, poor honey.  He’s dozing right now, looking all cute and cuddly… Night before last I never slept at all.  Same problem as Don - I took my pain meds too late, and couldn’t fall into sleep.  I opted to force myself to stay awake as long as possible to try and reset my sleep schedule; I made it to 8pm before I collapsed, groaning into bed.  Took me about 30 minutes to settle into a comfy position, and I was rivalling Rip Van Winkle’s sleep!  I woke up once because of the ache in my back (that sore spot that I mentioned) rearranged myself and drifted back into a sweet, deep sle
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Happy Thanksgiving

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Happy thanksgiving from us.  It’s a brisk day — it was 1C at noon today — and slightly overcast.  Beautiful day otherwise. My sweater and blanket are definitely getting a workout, and I’ve been wrapped in one or the other all afternoon.  Right now I’m hunting online for slipper boots so my feet stay warm!  Jerry has been tearing apart the “fur” trim from my winter jacket.  I took it off the coat this morning, it fell from me and was grabbed before I could pick it up!  He’s got his little paws wrapped around it and is dozing… Don’s cooking turkey and some trimmings, so dinner will be a little later this evening.  His stuff is always good, so I just stay out of the kitchen when he’s cooking, and just enjoy the results! Last night I fell asleep around 8pm.  I’m still stunned by that.  I slept solidly until midnight and then after that I woke intermittently.  Part of my discomfort I realize comes from the pressure on my coccyx and then on my arms as I tried to find a comfortable position.
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Fatima

  It’s the feast of Our Lady of Fatima today; it was the saint’s day for my home parish and we used to have a harvest festival, with all the booths and games that are typical.  I used to really enjoy going to the harvest, wandering around, trying to win one or another of the prizes (always donated, almost never new, and often just taken home, packed away and donated again the following year.). Such great memories; we used to meet our friends there and go around in a small group to either play games or go to the disco (yes, we had those) I am not sure if they continue or not these days.  Jerry was having a great time bouncing around and tossing his ball.  He’s settled on the sofa now looking cute and wagging his little stumpy.  Don’s planning to get to work on some mashed potatoes later, although I think we didn’t have enough peeled… pity.  If I’d thought about it, I’d have ordered some extras for Thanksgiving dinner, but my dates were all skewed. My sleep last night was a bit broken; I
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Saturday

There was a wild wind storm last night that woke me up, somewhere around 2am.  The howling, banging and noise was quite tremendous.  There was a rainstorm at the same time, which made things feel crazier.  Jerry did not approve, and was trying to hide under us last night, working to bury himself away from the wind.  He’s calmer today, and is presently chewing his ball.  Don’s fine, and not in any extra pain, so that’s good news. My tummy is calmer again today, and I’m quite happy that it’s settled.  It’s a relief when things are back to normal and I’m not in pain or exhausted.  I had a decent dinner, and I had a fairly relaxed afternoon.  In the ongoing PSW saga, the person I had yesterday, did laundry, and for the third time in a row, brought back my clothes dripping wet and left them in the laundry basket… When I say dripping, I mean literally. Don says she probably doesn’t know how to use the dryer (put clothes in, tap to pay, press start, come back in an hour.)  Today’s worker took
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Week ending

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Ahh… autumnal weather and the cool breezes and chill nights and the need for sweaters and blankets… The thought that it will get colder doesn’t make me excited; I’m too old for Christmas weather for more than 2 days!  Jerry has been over excited today because there was a stranger here and he doesn’t approve of that in the least.  Don is ok, although his balance was a little erratic earlier and fell back on his chair, but he’s fine.  He’s been wrangling Jerry who is being a challenge… I’m hungry a lot; that CBD oil works marvels.  I’ve got meals for a couple of days, and we’re debating making a Thanksgiving dinner this weekend.  I will ask my worker tomorrow (who is a lovely, accommodating person) to help with preparing the potatoes so we can make the rest of the meal.  I don’t think she’ll have a problem; the other person has difficulty remembering to take out the trash when she leaves, among other things.  I’m getting irritated with her, as I have to repeat any requests at least 3 tim
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Midweek

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Rainy fall days feel colder than they are really.  There’s a dampness that soaks in and gets into your bones… although that’s probably exacerbated by age and infirmity, and sadly, I feel both.  Night temperatures are in the single digits, so blankets are necessary.  Jerry is Dickie dancing all over, because his  worker is cooking for me today and he’s super excited.  He won’t stop barking except when she’s playing with him, and he has run to show her his leash and harness at least 5 times in the last 15 minutes!  Guess what he wants? 😆  Don is moving a bit stiffly, which I attribute to the weather but he’s not in worse pain, thankfully.  His coordinator was here yesterday, and I’m waiting for a call to know when his personal support worker will start.  He’s glued and torn between sports and US elections… while I’m watching the comedy shows about it; it’s about the same level of information either way! I conked out early last night, although I spent a good few hours awake in the middle
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Happy auntie

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Oh that storm last night!  The lightning was bright and frequent, the thunder loud and rolling and the wind howled.  The skies had some unusual clouds that are popping up everywhere on social media today, and the remnant is that it’s overcast and cool.  Jerry is in high spirits; he’s been trying to bury a treat in the sofa and is whining because he can’t dig into the cushions! 😜😆  Don is fine, and in good spirits — I wonder how much of that is due to the true crime shows he was bingeing this morning? I had one of those semi-sleepless nights last night.  I went to bed early, settled in, and just… didn’t fall asleep but I was in that half-awake stage where I wasn’t sleeping nor was I fully awake.  I finally fell into a deep sleep (and an uncomfortable pretzel-like position) around 6am and woke up near noon.  I’m beginning to feel tired so an early night, with (hopefully) a decent sleep!  My dinner last night, and lunch today, were good — I’m so glad we were able to have that cooking se
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Sunday

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It was 6C this morning!  That was distinctly chilly, and a bit of a shock first thing when you crawl out from under a warm blanket.  I dove into a hot cup of tea, and it’s been pleasanter since.  Jerry was waiting impatiently for me to get into my chair and has been attached to my lap since.  He got out for a bit, so he’s resting now, and a bit quieter, which is good.  Don is watching recordings of sports and I’m ignoring that… and I just heard a rumble of thunder.  We were promised a “late autumn storm” tonight, so it seems that the Jewish New Year and Navratri will be washed clean tonight. My energy is fluctuating a bit.  I have moments when I have a lot, and others when I just think fond thoughts of my bed!  Today was middling… I’m a little leery that my iron is still low, and I’m nervous about that.  It’s normal, I know, to have these reactions, but after last Tuesday and the extreme weakness I felt, anything that makes me feel short of breath or tired frightens me a bit.  I got so
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Resting

Still cool weather, and I’ve been bundled in either my sweater or a blanket all day.  Looks like rain, but so far it’s just overcast, so we watch and see.  I was a dog bed today, until my legs got badly scratched by little puppy claws and he got evicted.  He does not approve of that!  Don was OK, and his appetite was good, so I’m pleased. I don’t know why I’m so sleepy!  I went to sleep around 9:30 last night, woke briefly twice, and could not get up this morning!  I’d have easily slept until 1 if I didn’t push myself out of bed!  Had some light meals today; unfortunately the leftover Chinese from 2 nights ago had gone bad when I took it out of the fridge today; the chicken definitely smelled off! So into the garbage it had to go! I’ll be busy for the next few days… my laptop from the Cancer Society arrived this afternoon so I’ll be getting it set up and getting used to working in Windows again!  Been a while, so… yeah.  Among other things is how to transfer files from my iPad (with no
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October

October has brought in autumn with cooler temperatures and rain. It’s great for sleeping and to be wrapped up in sweaters but i prefer slightly warmer days myself.  Jerry spent as much of today as he could cuddled up on me, batting me in the face with his paws and just staring at me.  He was a good boy yesterday, guarding the house by himself for a few hours and he was gentle with me when I got home.  Thank God Don was feeling better yesterday.  If not for that… disaster!  He was just awesome. I went for the transfusion yesterday.  We left here about 8:45, as I needed to do blood work 4 hours before they could do the transfusion.  Unfortunately yesterday was a very bad day for me.  I couldn’t walk more than 4 - 5 steps without gasping for air, and my legs were extremely weak.  I could barely walk to the apartment door, and I struggled to get to the elevator and then out to the garage… I had to stop then, as my legs wobbled so much.  Don drove the car to the garage door so I could fall
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Monthend

It’s cooler, especially at night, and I’m loving it for sleep.  No need for a fan, just a light blanket and I’m perfectly happy with that.  During the day, though, I’m usually wrapped in an oversized sweater (all my sweaters are oversized) because it’s so cool.  Not quite chilly, but still not warm!  Jerry is very happy at the moment because his  worker came over for a bit, but he’s being defiant and won’t stop barking from excitement.  We finally locked him on the balcony with Don in a vain effort to keep him quiet, thinking that if he can’t see her, he won’t bark… silly me.  Don seems to be moving fairly easily, which is good, and his appetite is healthy.  He’s also glued to US election news, which bores me stiff when I’m not enraged, so I have been finding cozy murder mysteries, animated shows and other light entertainment to change from the insanity. My transfusion is set for tomorrow, which will be a long day as I need to do a blood match 4 hours before the actual procedure.  The
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Late September

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It persists in being cooler; autumn is definitely here.  The trees are starting to change colours, too which I’d overlooked until it sank in that we’re almost in October so it makes sense that they’re gold instead of green.  It’s about 13 overnight, which makes it comfortable to sleep.  Jerry has suddenly become subject to separation anxiety.  I have no idea what’s triggered it, but any phone call makes him start barking and he runs to the door to growl.  I’m running out of ideas as to why he’s doing this and how to correct it.  Don is continuing well; he doesn’t seem to have any additional pain, which is very comforting.  He still is limited in how far he can walk, but he seems to be reasonably ok.  I’m happy about that, as you can imagine. I’m still feeling weak and shaky, which is unsurprising given my iron levels.  I’ve been sleeping quite a bit, although I passed a nuit blanche  (I liked the definition of nuit blanche  and nuit bleu and I often wonder if there’s a nuit rouge ) and
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Mixed news

Ah, Google… I’ve lost access to my photos again, no idea why it does this.  Temperature has dropped so it’s almost chilly and I have to break out my sweater again.  I’m lost in one of them, it’s so large on me!  Jerry is busy being snuggly and affectionate, and spent a good hour snoring on my lap while I was trying to watch a show.  Don seems to be reasonably ok, not in extreme pain, so that’s good. My cough stopped for a couple of days, which was great, then last night I couldn’t stop coughing until almost 4am!  Then, of course, I couldn’t wake up this morning… I’ll try an earlier night tonight and see if that helps.  My CT scan was on Monday, and I saw my oncologist yesterday.  The preliminary report shows that things are fairly stable (DG) with a little shrinkage. We’re waiting for the formal report, but the first look is optimistic.  Many thanks for all the prayers as ever!  They continue to work.  On the less good side, my hemoglobin is low again, which explains why I feel so weak
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Fall

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So it’s been slightly cloudy and warm today, slightly humid, which makes it hard to breathe easily. Jerry is standing in the kitchen staring at me waiting for any indication that he can jump into my lap.  Don has been feeling a little better, thankfully, and made me some tea and a snack, which was super helpful. I’ve still got a persistent cough, and if I talk I start hacking over and over.  I took some OTC cold meds, which helps a bit, but still I’m struggling.  I sleep very well, thankfully, and I have to make myself get up in the morning, or I’d sleep until nighttime.  I woke up craving a certain meal today, but I don’t have the energy to cook it so unfortunately I didn’t get to eat it.  I’m hoping that I can ask my worker to do some light cooking for me so I’ll have something more substantial to eat.  Don is annoyed that I’m not eating enough, and I realize that I haven’t had anywhere near enough calories.  Once again the pharmacy is back ordered on Ensure, and I’m out, so I’m sear
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Recovery

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This is going to be short.  I have been struggling to breathe easily and I’ve been coughing almost nonstop.  It’s extremely frustrating and exhausting, as I have to stop to catch my breath after taking a few steps.  It’s also quite painful as I feel weak and like I’m about to faint from a lack of air.  The cough is really draining, I’m sorry to say.  I didn’t eat much for the last couple of days as I felt so weak.  I’m not enthusiastic about upcoming appointments, but I’m resting as much as I can and regaining some energy.  Jerry is being very attentive and not letting me out of his sight for any length of time, and right now is on my toes.  Don is OK; he is also having breathing problems as it’s getting hot and humid again, so I hope things improve soon. I’ll just end now; I am feeling wiped out, so I’m going to take some rest.  Good night
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Back home

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The weather is beautiful for the last few days; sunny and warm, which is just lovely and a bit of a breeze.  I’m pleased that it’s warm and comfortable and no real need for for sweaters or shawls or anything of the sort.  Jerry has not let me out of his sight at all since last night; he’s been on my lap, wagging his tiny stump and wriggling to sprawl across my belly.  He’s been trying to type while I’m typing, so that makes for some interesting edits!  Don is doing well, not complaining about any pain, which is fabulous because I was a little worried about him while I was away.  They seem to have taken reasonable care of themselves, although there’s a lot of stuff to do still, but I’m taking a break and it will get done over time.  I have no idea what sports he’s been watching, but I just left it for a while; it will be sorted out eventually. I have to apologize for a week’s silence.  That cold and cough just knocked me out completely.  I fell asleep early every night, woke up as late
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Holiday day 16

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The weather has improved over the last couple of days, and it’s warm enough that I don’t need the sweaters any more, which is nice.  I was also able to ditch the cozy socks, so my toes are happy to be free again.  Silly things that make me happy, I know.  My sister’s dog has a strong attraction for my toes, and he jumps on me as soon as I move… he’s got this habit of running up to me when I’m walking downstairs, which is unsafe for everyone.  Jerry is at least wagging his tail when he hears my voice, so there’s some progress in that area, at least!  Don has been on his own for 3 weeks now and I’m absolutely certain that he’s been glued to US politics and sports, and that he’s probably been ordering every possible cake/pie/sweet thing that he can possibly find!  It will stop when I get back home, sadly, and he’ll have to eat “real” food again… don’t tell him, ok? So yesterday I dragged myself out of bed, only because my room is also my sister’s home office and I can’t be in there when s
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