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Prep

We’re indulging in petit câreme right now; the weather is mild and sunny and pretending to be late summer instead of mid-autumn.  The day starts off cold — it was below 0 last night - but it’s quite warm this afternoon and pleasantly sunny.  The dog is happily shredding stuff and is quiet, which makes me nervous!  Don is taking a nap, and I rather think that his nights are often broken by pain.  I can’t do anything to help unfortunately.  His personal support worker is due to start tomorrow, so stand by for reports. I had such a lovely sleep last night.  I didn’t want to get out of my nice, warm, cozy blanket cocoon, but nature intervened.  I dropped into a deep sleep shortly before midnight and only cracked open an eye at a few minutes to 8am.  I went back to sleep shortly thereafter, and never stirred until almost 11.  So delicious.  No calls, no interruptions.  I had a fairly large lunch, which was quite good, and I’ll work out something for dinner.  I treated myself to my favourite
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Comfort

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It’s a lovely, sunny day today, and I must admit that it’s lovely to see the sun after clouds for a while.  I have a small dog curled up on my toes after wreaking destruction on my coat trim (he refuses to relinquish it!) a delivery box, the remains of his pillow and a paper towel… Don is feeling OK, so I’m glad about that.  He had a broken night when he took his pain meds too late, and he lay awake until about 6am, poor honey.  He’s dozing right now, looking all cute and cuddly… Night before last I never slept at all.  Same problem as Don - I took my pain meds too late, and couldn’t fall into sleep.  I opted to force myself to stay awake as long as possible to try and reset my sleep schedule; I made it to 8pm before I collapsed, groaning into bed.  Took me about 30 minutes to settle into a comfy position, and I was rivalling Rip Van Winkle’s sleep!  I woke up once because of the ache in my back (that sore spot that I mentioned) rearranged myself and drifted back into a sweet, deep sle
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Happy Thanksgiving

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Happy thanksgiving from us.  It’s a brisk day — it was 1C at noon today — and slightly overcast.  Beautiful day otherwise. My sweater and blanket are definitely getting a workout, and I’ve been wrapped in one or the other all afternoon.  Right now I’m hunting online for slipper boots so my feet stay warm!  Jerry has been tearing apart the “fur” trim from my winter jacket.  I took it off the coat this morning, it fell from me and was grabbed before I could pick it up!  He’s got his little paws wrapped around it and is dozing… Don’s cooking turkey and some trimmings, so dinner will be a little later this evening.  His stuff is always good, so I just stay out of the kitchen when he’s cooking, and just enjoy the results! Last night I fell asleep around 8pm.  I’m still stunned by that.  I slept solidly until midnight and then after that I woke intermittently.  Part of my discomfort I realize comes from the pressure on my coccyx and then on my arms as I tried to find a comfortable position.
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Fatima

  It’s the feast of Our Lady of Fatima today; it was the saint’s day for my home parish and we used to have a harvest festival, with all the booths and games that are typical.  I used to really enjoy going to the harvest, wandering around, trying to win one or another of the prizes (always donated, almost never new, and often just taken home, packed away and donated again the following year.). Such great memories; we used to meet our friends there and go around in a small group to either play games or go to the disco (yes, we had those) I am not sure if they continue or not these days.  Jerry was having a great time bouncing around and tossing his ball.  He’s settled on the sofa now looking cute and wagging his little stumpy.  Don’s planning to get to work on some mashed potatoes later, although I think we didn’t have enough peeled… pity.  If I’d thought about it, I’d have ordered some extras for Thanksgiving dinner, but my dates were all skewed. My sleep last night was a bit broken; I
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Saturday

There was a wild wind storm last night that woke me up, somewhere around 2am.  The howling, banging and noise was quite tremendous.  There was a rainstorm at the same time, which made things feel crazier.  Jerry did not approve, and was trying to hide under us last night, working to bury himself away from the wind.  He’s calmer today, and is presently chewing his ball.  Don’s fine, and not in any extra pain, so that’s good news. My tummy is calmer again today, and I’m quite happy that it’s settled.  It’s a relief when things are back to normal and I’m not in pain or exhausted.  I had a decent dinner, and I had a fairly relaxed afternoon.  In the ongoing PSW saga, the person I had yesterday, did laundry, and for the third time in a row, brought back my clothes dripping wet and left them in the laundry basket… When I say dripping, I mean literally. Don says she probably doesn’t know how to use the dryer (put clothes in, tap to pay, press start, come back in an hour.)  Today’s worker took
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Week ending

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Ahh… autumnal weather and the cool breezes and chill nights and the need for sweaters and blankets… The thought that it will get colder doesn’t make me excited; I’m too old for Christmas weather for more than 2 days!  Jerry has been over excited today because there was a stranger here and he doesn’t approve of that in the least.  Don is ok, although his balance was a little erratic earlier and fell back on his chair, but he’s fine.  He’s been wrangling Jerry who is being a challenge… I’m hungry a lot; that CBD oil works marvels.  I’ve got meals for a couple of days, and we’re debating making a Thanksgiving dinner this weekend.  I will ask my worker tomorrow (who is a lovely, accommodating person) to help with preparing the potatoes so we can make the rest of the meal.  I don’t think she’ll have a problem; the other person has difficulty remembering to take out the trash when she leaves, among other things.  I’m getting irritated with her, as I have to repeat any requests at least 3 tim
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Midweek

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Rainy fall days feel colder than they are really.  There’s a dampness that soaks in and gets into your bones… although that’s probably exacerbated by age and infirmity, and sadly, I feel both.  Night temperatures are in the single digits, so blankets are necessary.  Jerry is Dickie dancing all over, because his  worker is cooking for me today and he’s super excited.  He won’t stop barking except when she’s playing with him, and he has run to show her his leash and harness at least 5 times in the last 15 minutes!  Guess what he wants? 😆  Don is moving a bit stiffly, which I attribute to the weather but he’s not in worse pain, thankfully.  His coordinator was here yesterday, and I’m waiting for a call to know when his personal support worker will start.  He’s glued and torn between sports and US elections… while I’m watching the comedy shows about it; it’s about the same level of information either way! I conked out early last night, although I spent a good few hours awake in the middle
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Happy auntie

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Oh that storm last night!  The lightning was bright and frequent, the thunder loud and rolling and the wind howled.  The skies had some unusual clouds that are popping up everywhere on social media today, and the remnant is that it’s overcast and cool.  Jerry is in high spirits; he’s been trying to bury a treat in the sofa and is whining because he can’t dig into the cushions! 😜😆  Don is fine, and in good spirits — I wonder how much of that is due to the true crime shows he was bingeing this morning? I had one of those semi-sleepless nights last night.  I went to bed early, settled in, and just… didn’t fall asleep but I was in that half-awake stage where I wasn’t sleeping nor was I fully awake.  I finally fell into a deep sleep (and an uncomfortable pretzel-like position) around 6am and woke up near noon.  I’m beginning to feel tired so an early night, with (hopefully) a decent sleep!  My dinner last night, and lunch today, were good — I’m so glad we were able to have that cooking se
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Sunday

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It was 6C this morning!  That was distinctly chilly, and a bit of a shock first thing when you crawl out from under a warm blanket.  I dove into a hot cup of tea, and it’s been pleasanter since.  Jerry was waiting impatiently for me to get into my chair and has been attached to my lap since.  He got out for a bit, so he’s resting now, and a bit quieter, which is good.  Don is watching recordings of sports and I’m ignoring that… and I just heard a rumble of thunder.  We were promised a “late autumn storm” tonight, so it seems that the Jewish New Year and Navratri will be washed clean tonight. My energy is fluctuating a bit.  I have moments when I have a lot, and others when I just think fond thoughts of my bed!  Today was middling… I’m a little leery that my iron is still low, and I’m nervous about that.  It’s normal, I know, to have these reactions, but after last Tuesday and the extreme weakness I felt, anything that makes me feel short of breath or tired frightens me a bit.  I got so
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Resting

Still cool weather, and I’ve been bundled in either my sweater or a blanket all day.  Looks like rain, but so far it’s just overcast, so we watch and see.  I was a dog bed today, until my legs got badly scratched by little puppy claws and he got evicted.  He does not approve of that!  Don was OK, and his appetite was good, so I’m pleased. I don’t know why I’m so sleepy!  I went to sleep around 9:30 last night, woke briefly twice, and could not get up this morning!  I’d have easily slept until 1 if I didn’t push myself out of bed!  Had some light meals today; unfortunately the leftover Chinese from 2 nights ago had gone bad when I took it out of the fridge today; the chicken definitely smelled off! So into the garbage it had to go! I’ll be busy for the next few days… my laptop from the Cancer Society arrived this afternoon so I’ll be getting it set up and getting used to working in Windows again!  Been a while, so… yeah.  Among other things is how to transfer files from my iPad (with no
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October

October has brought in autumn with cooler temperatures and rain. It’s great for sleeping and to be wrapped up in sweaters but i prefer slightly warmer days myself.  Jerry spent as much of today as he could cuddled up on me, batting me in the face with his paws and just staring at me.  He was a good boy yesterday, guarding the house by himself for a few hours and he was gentle with me when I got home.  Thank God Don was feeling better yesterday.  If not for that… disaster!  He was just awesome. I went for the transfusion yesterday.  We left here about 8:45, as I needed to do blood work 4 hours before they could do the transfusion.  Unfortunately yesterday was a very bad day for me.  I couldn’t walk more than 4 - 5 steps without gasping for air, and my legs were extremely weak.  I could barely walk to the apartment door, and I struggled to get to the elevator and then out to the garage… I had to stop then, as my legs wobbled so much.  Don drove the car to the garage door so I could fall
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Monthend

It’s cooler, especially at night, and I’m loving it for sleep.  No need for a fan, just a light blanket and I’m perfectly happy with that.  During the day, though, I’m usually wrapped in an oversized sweater (all my sweaters are oversized) because it’s so cool.  Not quite chilly, but still not warm!  Jerry is very happy at the moment because his  worker came over for a bit, but he’s being defiant and won’t stop barking from excitement.  We finally locked him on the balcony with Don in a vain effort to keep him quiet, thinking that if he can’t see her, he won’t bark… silly me.  Don seems to be moving fairly easily, which is good, and his appetite is healthy.  He’s also glued to US election news, which bores me stiff when I’m not enraged, so I have been finding cozy murder mysteries, animated shows and other light entertainment to change from the insanity. My transfusion is set for tomorrow, which will be a long day as I need to do a blood match 4 hours before the actual procedure.  The
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Late September

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It persists in being cooler; autumn is definitely here.  The trees are starting to change colours, too which I’d overlooked until it sank in that we’re almost in October so it makes sense that they’re gold instead of green.  It’s about 13 overnight, which makes it comfortable to sleep.  Jerry has suddenly become subject to separation anxiety.  I have no idea what’s triggered it, but any phone call makes him start barking and he runs to the door to growl.  I’m running out of ideas as to why he’s doing this and how to correct it.  Don is continuing well; he doesn’t seem to have any additional pain, which is very comforting.  He still is limited in how far he can walk, but he seems to be reasonably ok.  I’m happy about that, as you can imagine. I’m still feeling weak and shaky, which is unsurprising given my iron levels.  I’ve been sleeping quite a bit, although I passed a nuit blanche  (I liked the definition of nuit blanche  and nuit bleu and I often wonder if there’s a nuit rouge ) and
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Mixed news

Ah, Google… I’ve lost access to my photos again, no idea why it does this.  Temperature has dropped so it’s almost chilly and I have to break out my sweater again.  I’m lost in one of them, it’s so large on me!  Jerry is busy being snuggly and affectionate, and spent a good hour snoring on my lap while I was trying to watch a show.  Don seems to be reasonably ok, not in extreme pain, so that’s good. My cough stopped for a couple of days, which was great, then last night I couldn’t stop coughing until almost 4am!  Then, of course, I couldn’t wake up this morning… I’ll try an earlier night tonight and see if that helps.  My CT scan was on Monday, and I saw my oncologist yesterday.  The preliminary report shows that things are fairly stable (DG) with a little shrinkage. We’re waiting for the formal report, but the first look is optimistic.  Many thanks for all the prayers as ever!  They continue to work.  On the less good side, my hemoglobin is low again, which explains why I feel so weak
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Fall

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So it’s been slightly cloudy and warm today, slightly humid, which makes it hard to breathe easily. Jerry is standing in the kitchen staring at me waiting for any indication that he can jump into my lap.  Don has been feeling a little better, thankfully, and made me some tea and a snack, which was super helpful. I’ve still got a persistent cough, and if I talk I start hacking over and over.  I took some OTC cold meds, which helps a bit, but still I’m struggling.  I sleep very well, thankfully, and I have to make myself get up in the morning, or I’d sleep until nighttime.  I woke up craving a certain meal today, but I don’t have the energy to cook it so unfortunately I didn’t get to eat it.  I’m hoping that I can ask my worker to do some light cooking for me so I’ll have something more substantial to eat.  Don is annoyed that I’m not eating enough, and I realize that I haven’t had anywhere near enough calories.  Once again the pharmacy is back ordered on Ensure, and I’m out, so I’m sear
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Recovery

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This is going to be short.  I have been struggling to breathe easily and I’ve been coughing almost nonstop.  It’s extremely frustrating and exhausting, as I have to stop to catch my breath after taking a few steps.  It’s also quite painful as I feel weak and like I’m about to faint from a lack of air.  The cough is really draining, I’m sorry to say.  I didn’t eat much for the last couple of days as I felt so weak.  I’m not enthusiastic about upcoming appointments, but I’m resting as much as I can and regaining some energy.  Jerry is being very attentive and not letting me out of his sight for any length of time, and right now is on my toes.  Don is OK; he is also having breathing problems as it’s getting hot and humid again, so I hope things improve soon. I’ll just end now; I am feeling wiped out, so I’m going to take some rest.  Good night
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Back home

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The weather is beautiful for the last few days; sunny and warm, which is just lovely and a bit of a breeze.  I’m pleased that it’s warm and comfortable and no real need for for sweaters or shawls or anything of the sort.  Jerry has not let me out of his sight at all since last night; he’s been on my lap, wagging his tiny stump and wriggling to sprawl across my belly.  He’s been trying to type while I’m typing, so that makes for some interesting edits!  Don is doing well, not complaining about any pain, which is fabulous because I was a little worried about him while I was away.  They seem to have taken reasonable care of themselves, although there’s a lot of stuff to do still, but I’m taking a break and it will get done over time.  I have no idea what sports he’s been watching, but I just left it for a while; it will be sorted out eventually. I have to apologize for a week’s silence.  That cold and cough just knocked me out completely.  I fell asleep early every night, woke up as late
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Holiday day 16

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The weather has improved over the last couple of days, and it’s warm enough that I don’t need the sweaters any more, which is nice.  I was also able to ditch the cozy socks, so my toes are happy to be free again.  Silly things that make me happy, I know.  My sister’s dog has a strong attraction for my toes, and he jumps on me as soon as I move… he’s got this habit of running up to me when I’m walking downstairs, which is unsafe for everyone.  Jerry is at least wagging his tail when he hears my voice, so there’s some progress in that area, at least!  Don has been on his own for 3 weeks now and I’m absolutely certain that he’s been glued to US politics and sports, and that he’s probably been ordering every possible cake/pie/sweet thing that he can possibly find!  It will stop when I get back home, sadly, and he’ll have to eat “real” food again… don’t tell him, ok? So yesterday I dragged myself out of bed, only because my room is also my sister’s home office and I can’t be in there when s
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Holiday day 14

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It rained quite a bit yesterday and last night; I woke up to hear rain pattering on the roof and the wind in the trees.  Today was sunny and cool, which was quite nice although it was too chilly to be outdoors for me unless I was wrapped up and blanketed.  The boys continue to do well, I’m happy to report.  We talk a lot, and text even more, so I’m relieved that he’s doing well, although I’m not certain that he’s eating properly because he dodges my questions when I ask what he’s been eating.  The tiny dictator has not destroyed my cushions so I know he’s not totally furious at me and I’ll be forgiven for running off and leaving him.  I’m not deprived of puppy companionship as my sister has a small dog which is determined to make me trip… he attacks my toes as soon as he sees me. I’m sorry to report that I’ve been sick since yesterday.  I started off sneezing, sniffling, with a thickly throat, and I could not get warm at all.  I had to get an extra blanket last night since I felt so co
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Holiday day 12

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It’s starting to get cooler, and the autumn seems to be ready to move in!  Mornings are almost chilly, late evenings also, but daytime is usually lovely, moderately warm with some sunshine.  It’s the light-sweater stage of coolness, where sandals and shorts are still options, but a light sweater or shawl makes a difference.  Although Don told me that it was 6C and raining in Ottawa (it was easily three times that here!) he said that he was really cold from the wind, although he’d apparently closed the window already… Jerry likes this weather, and would be perfectly happy if it stayed like this indefinitely.  He gets perkier when it’s cooler and enjoys running around and would roll in the grass to his little heart’s content.  He’s still pretending that I don’t exist, and will for the next week! I’m getting very frustrated with my energy levels, or rather, the lack thereof.  If I do stuff for a couple of hours, I need almost double that time to rest so that I don’t feel like I’ll collaps
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Holiday day 10

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Photos seem to be working again, so here’s a view of Niagara from a couple of days ago!  Today we woke up to pouring rain with lightning and thunder, and it rained off and on all day long.  Spoke with my boys this morning, and Jerry continues to pretend that I don’t exist, while Don seems to be in a good mood and it appears that his pain is fairly well managed at this point.  It is Friday, so he’s going to be glued to the football game, which is liable to be rained out, and I’ll hear about it either way… I really needed rest yesterday.  I slept for several hours during the day from noon to about 4 and I felt weak and dizzy.  That cleared up after I had a couple of glasses of water, so note to self:  drink lots of fluid!!  Today I got the PICC line dressing changed, but it refused to give any blood return.  We flushed it with about 6 syringes of saline, but not so much as a hint of red in the return… that’s annoying, to say the least, and might mean things like having to replace the lin
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Holiday day 8

You’ll have to do without pictures again; I don’t know what is going on, and frankly I don’t have the time to deal with it now.  It was a beautiful day, lots of sun and a light breeze; it was distinctly cooler by the lake.  My boys are doing well, although the tiny dictator continues to pretend that I don’t exist!  I got a call today that I’ve been waiting for, although I’d given up hope.  The agency called to say that they had reevaluated Don’s referral and now he’s eligible for 2 hours of a personal support worker per week!  I’m very relieved. I had a good, late sleep last night, and did not come down for breakfast before school.  This was met with stern disapproval, and a complaint called upstairs before they left… I also had a good bowl of corn soup made by my friend; I could definitely eat more of that!  There’s food in the fridge for me, so I don’t have to worry for a while! I got a haircut done last night; my friend’s mom gets a hairdresser to come over once a week, and she agre
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Holiday day 7

The little photo app gremlins are back at work, and I can’t access my pictures.  So, sadly, no images of lush gardens to share!  It was a beautiful day today, slight autumnal coolness in the air this morning, but it was pleasantly warm.  Definite shorts-and-tshirt weather and a lovely day to return to school.  I spoke with my boys this morning, and the tiny dictator acknowledged my presence by wagging his little nub of a tail, but he still refused to look at the camera, just rolled on his back and tried to knock the phone out of Don’s hand!  Don looks like his normal self, and seems to have a bit more energy, which I always like, so that was a good start to the day! I was awake at 7am because it’s the first day of school and the morning volume was unusually high 😝 I did sleep quite well, although that is far too early for me to be out of bed… I don’t remember how I used to manage to be awake, functioning and in the office by 7:30 regularly!  Honestly!  I had some of the left overs fro
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Holiday day 6

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Lovely sunny weekend, with a bit of a breeze outdoors.  We found it was getting chilly last night and had to move from the back patio indoors, and same this afternoon.  Bit of clouds in the morning, and it’s distinctly cool overnight, which is lovely for sleep!  My boys continue to enjoy their grass widowerhood, and are apparently having considerable fun without me.  Jerry has now reached the stage of knocking the phone out of Don’s hand when he’s texting as well as when we’re on a call; so that conveys his opinions.  Don says that he’s eating — and today sent me a copy of a receipt from delivery — so I’ll have to believe him.  I’ve also asked someone to pop in and just check in on him, and all reports suggest that he’s behaving.  Either he’s turned over a new leaf or he’s getting better at being sneaky about stuff! In case you were wondering, I’m fine and having a great, if tiring time, with the family.  I slept late for the last couple of days, and shook off the last of the train rid
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Holiday day 4

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There was an impressive thunderstorm this morning before 7.   The rest of the day was cool and overcast, a big difference from yesterday’s sunny warmth.  Either way, though, it’s all part of the fun and we’re enjoying the end of the school holidays.  My boys are well, and don’t seem to be missing me too much, which is both hard to believe and yet, reasonable… they’re probably indulging in feasts of sweet things at levels that they wouldn’t normally be allowed!  Jerry has reached the stage of not responding to my voice and turning away from my image on the phone, so I’m officially being ignored!  Don seems to be feeling a bit better and sleeping reasonably well, although I’m equally sure that he’s telling me partial truths and hiding details that he thinks I won’t notice since I only see his face on the screen. I am recovering from the trip; it’s taking a little longer than I expected, although I knew that it would be difficult for me.  I’m sleeping well, thankfully, and I have had an a
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Holiday!

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It’s a lovely day today, with loads of sun and a bit of a breeze and not too humid, although I can see some lowering black clouds not far away, so it may change, but I’m fine with that.  I don’t have Jerry — who is ignoring me and refusing to acknowledge me on the phone — but I do have Radix, who seems to think that my toes are a snack and has been trying to lick every part of me that he can reach, when he’s not trying to climb into my lap or jump in my chair (where he’s not allowed)  I spoke with Don this morning, and he’s ok.  He said that he was sleeping late and that the temperature had dropped overnight.  I had someone drop by to check on him today, and she cooked so he’ll have something to eat for a day or so, which is a relief to me since I’m a few hundred kilometres away! So the train journey was, in itself, fine.  They fed me a delicious meal (chicken yakitori, rice and cabbage; with a berry cobbler for dessert) and I ate almost all of it, plus a piece of raspberry chocolate a
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Trip

For reasons known only to the gremlins who live in networks, my photo app refuses to display and let me choose an image.  I’m sitting on the train heading to my sister and still a couple of hours from my initial destination (and a bit longer to the end of my journey). I have left behind one very unhappy, sulky puppy who complained bitterly that he was abandoned and ignored (partially correct; he didn’t come to the station to drop me off) and who will be entering a prolonged period of grumps until I return!  I’ll also be deprived of puppy snuggles and little warm hugs and scratches for attention!  Don is on his own for a while, so I expect that he’ll be blasting the TV (he complains that I keep turning down the volume; I maintain he needs his hearing checked and there’s no need to watch games with the volume set to “wake the neighbourhood”) and eating all sorts of things that he would otherwise not have in the house… I didn’t sleep at all well last night; it was another of those where I
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Prep…

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It’s a warm and sunny midsummer day, with a bit of a haze and moderate humidity.  Got to enjoy these kinds of days!  Jerry is being snuggly and shadowing me everywhere… I haven’t been able to go to the kitchen unaccompanied.  Don continues to improve slowly, which is reassuring, as he’s in much less pain.  He’s also been glued to the baseball and football games on TV, so I’m catching up on other shows and books, because baseball has got to be THE most boring game to watch (other than golf or stock racing or… well, there’s a list.) I slept quite well last night, despite waking up a few times.  I think that my new meds are helping with my appetite, which is good, except that I’m eating more than I have available!  I have worked my way through almost all the frozen meals I have in the freezer, even those I’m now a little tired of eating.  I had an odd sensation today when I felt shaky and weak, and was too tired to eat, although I didn’t do anything strenuous.  It’s really strange.  Thank
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Thoughts

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It’s been overcast, but warm the last 2 days, which is fine, although I’ve found that it’s distinctly chilly when the fan is on!  I’m wondering if that’s me or the weather?  Probably me… It hasn’t rained, but it’s definitely gloomy — what we used to call “London weather” (which I enjoy, since London is my favourite city.)  I just need some small cakes and a scone with tea to complete the image! Jerry has been surgically attached to me when I’m up the last few days.  I can’t even sit properly before he’s jumped on my lap and settled down with his back against my tummy and his little paws hugging my hand.  I tried drinking some water, and his little foot came up to push away the glass!  Silly puppy.  Happy to report that Don is feeling much better than he was, and is able to walk somewhat more comfortably.  Still not perfect, and I know he’s still in pain, but at least it’s eased up.  Now if only he would see a doctor… Yesterday was my “tired” day after chemo.  It’s the day when my energ
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