Learning and understanding

This will be short. I’ve been struggling for the past week trying to breathe and walk around  I’m very weak and I’m tending to be in bed more often.  Not sleeping, just trying to be comfortable  I can manage to walk the 12 steps from my bed to the bathroom, and after a couple of minutes, walk back and collapse.  If I walk to the chair in the living room (32 steps) it feels like a marathon and I need a longer rest before I can eat/ talk/ drink… Poor Don is doing what he can to look after me but I’m causing him distress and pain  I feel awful for that. Jerry eagerly waits for me to come out and plants himself on my lap for as long as I can stay out.  My friends have been working on feeding me, for which I’m grateful and I’m doing my best to eat as much as possible.  I admit that my worker made me a scrambled egg on toast, but I only ate half.  I had some soup with dumplings and some TT pelau!! Lovely lady who makes meals twice a week. I’m lying down...

I know that I’ve been offline for over 10 days, and I do apologize for worrying everyone.  I’ve been having difficulty moving and breathing for a while, and I’ve been going to bed as early as 6pm trying to regain some energy.  It hasn’t been easy at all.  I did a blood transfusion yesterday, and I will confess that I was absolutely terrified as I couldn’t walk to my elevator — about 40 steps - and I was out of breath.  My friend tried to push me on the walker, which was partly successful, and poured me into a wheelchair as we arrived at the hospital.  Afterwards I was able to walk inside, and today I’ve been able to move fairly comfortably although I’m still struggling to breathe easily.  I made myself a promise not to wait so long next time to request blood; I can feel the change, so I’m hoping to stay ahead of it.  I know that this is an indication of upcoming difficult conversations that I’d like to delay! I’m eating, and my lovely sister-friend dro...

Did you read it or sing it?  😝  I admit that I started singing it by the third panel, leading to belting out the rest of the song.  Don is amazed that I’ve never actually seen the movie, but I enjoy the song.  Jerry is pawing at me to get on my lap because my iPad is taking up space… he tries to commandeer my lap when I’m on the phone, typing on my laptop, eating, talking to Don, reading or just generally not paying attention to his tiny bossiness.  His next move will be to get a mouthful of kibble and eat it on my slippers until I let him up, because he is a persistent, preposterous puppy!  Poor Don is tired, struggling to breathe, having pain in his leg and finding it hard to walk.  I sympathize, I really do, and I’d like to find a way to help him.  Incidentally, he’s happy as his preferred team won the cup, so he’s looking annoyingly smug! I just could not wake up this morning.  I had a bit of difficulty during the night, but less than us...

A lovely 5C today.  Partly sunny, then overcast and rain looming… The long range forecast has snow coming.  I’m not looking forward to that at all at all.  It’s the time of year when it gets miserable and the days shrink to dark mornings, dark afternoons and midnight at 4pm… not fun in the least.  Jerry is on his “new” bed — an old pillow that we gave him.  I stopped buying him beds as he will just rip the stuffing out of them and I’d be spending ages picking up the wads of batting.  Don was feeling under the weather today, having difficulty breathing, walking and sleeping last night.  He’s dozed a few times today and is not fully awake at the moment.  He’ll hopefully sleep better tonight. I realized that for the last few nights I haven’t slept too well myself.  I turn off my light to go to sleep by 9:30, will fall asleep for about an hour, and then wake up in pain in my back — there’s pain in my coccyx where I can’t find a comfy spot, and an...

  It started off sunny and chilly and is now overcast and chilly… That’s my grumble about the weather today.  It’s fall, so “chilly” is a standard description.  Jerry couldn’t wait for me to sit this morning, and plunked his tiny self on my lap as soon as I got to my chair!  He managed to stretch himself into a remarkably long dog, demanding tummy rubs, hitting my face with his overly long paws and knocking my phone out of my hand.  Don is fine and his pain seems to be fairly well managed, as he’s been playing on his phone and moving around pretty easily.  Do I need to say that I feel happy when he’s like that?  It’s the Grey Cup tonight, so somewhere this evening I’ll be banished from the living room so I don’t “accidentally jinx” his team.   I had a huge bout of “digestive distress” last night that went on until almost midnight.  It’s totally bizarre, as I have no idea of the cause!  I went to bed in hopes that it would pass, but then ...

The little shaggy dog is the birthday puppy who celebrates his 9th birthday today.  His tiny bossiness managed to get into bed with me and settled in for loads of cuddles all day long!  I got to my chair, and there was a dog.  I tried to eat… dog.  Reading?  Dog.  I’m not complaining, it’s just amusing that he’s decided that I’m his favourite today (he’s hugging his new favourite toy at the moment.)  Silly puppy… he’s been very affectionate all day!  Don is in pretty decent shape today although he found it hard to breathe (so did I) this morning and settled into a comfortable spot to watch recorded sports and “entertainment” news… He’s playing on his phone now, and enjoying himself hugely if the grin on his face is any indication 😁 I just couldn’t wake up this morning, after heading in to bed late last night.  I was wiped out, can’t explain why, and it carried over to this morning.  I couldn’t get out of bed until the afternoon - one fr...

A beautiful, sunny day with a cutting cold wind that was just frigid!  This time of year the weather is always a challenge, especially if the wind is getting cold.  The leaves are still hanging on but they’ll all fall soon and it will be sad, bleak and grey!  Jerry was getting excited today and ran all over the house.  He probably suspects that his birthday is tomorrow and he’s searching for presents… happily rooting through everything (I’m a terrible pet parent, I didn’t get his gift in time!) Don is a little tired today; he had a good bit of difficulty falling asleep last night.  He was up until early this morning and dozed off this afternoon for a few hours. I had a small attack of “digestive distress” for which I can’t account.  It didn’t last very long, thankfully, but was uncomfortable nonetheless.  My appetite is still fairly decent, but I’m concerned that I may not be gaining weight.  The nurse pointed out that my loss of weight makes it m...

It’s a little milder today, but not very warm.  It was sunny, with some bright blue skies, all of which is very welcome, but as it got later, it also has got cooler and it felt a little like there were ice crystals starting to jab at my legs under the blanket!  Warmth is always preferable and it’s almost turn on the heat time!  I’m definitely in the wrong country if I don’t like cold.  I heard that there are wildfires in New Jersey, and I remember what it’s like with all the smoke-filled sky, and I hope that things improve quickly for the affected people.  Jerry is lying on my toes, which is warmer than the alternative!  (Well, I could wear socks, but a sleepy puppy works better.)  Don dozed off this afternoon on the sofa  and then has been playing with the puppy, who is very attached to the trim of my jacket… I haven’t been able to get it away from him since he stole it weeks ago, but he’s very attached to it!  I’ve had to admit that it’s no...

It’s November 11, and as is traditional, it poured  all morning!  It’s usually wet, sometimes snowing (not today) and grey all day.  The aircraft flyover seemed smaller than usual, but the number of military in attendance at the Cenotaph seemed larger, so it balanced out.  It’s cool still, and intermittent rain forecast for the rest of the evening.  Jerry is snoring quite loudly on the sofa after being totally overwhelmed by 2 PSWs being here simultaneously.  Both Don’s and mine showed up (his was late) so Jerry was outside to growl and pretend to be vicious.  Don seems to have used up quite a lot of his energy and is comfortable on the sofa as well; he was sawing logs earlier, but is awake now. My blood pressure has risen to almost normal!  It was an exciting moment when my nurse checked it and saw that it was over 100 for the first time in ages… it was hovering at 75 for a good long while, but inched up over the weekend.  It appears that th...

When I woke up it was dark and overcast, and not at all encouraging.  I checked the time, rolled over and went back to sleep, waking to a lovely clear sky and a brisk, cool breeze.  It’s been coool and chilly since, and I’m wrapped in a cozy blanket with a sulky dog on my toes.  He’s sulking because I was eating some cookies that didn’t somehow fall into his open maw.  They contained chocolate so he’s not allowed any, but he thinks that’s definitely a problem.  In his view, nothing that goes into my mouth should be denied to him!  Don is quite chipper today, which is so nice!  He was happily bingeing his true crime dramas until my nurse arrived to hook up my hydration and after that he was indulging in some Canadian football… it’s that time of year. I have only one small gripe about the hydration, and that is that it makes my feet swell at the end of the day; they go back to normal overnight, but it is a little frustrating that they do that, as my feet...

It’s been beautifully warm the last few days, with highs above 20C.  I’m in my happy element with that, I assure you.  It’s rainy, windy, heavily overcast, but warm, so I’ll take that happily.  I prefer the warm, even with rain, over cold and chilly… that is not a surprise to anyone, right?  Jerry is having routine outbursts of barking… he’ll be lying on the sofa, and suddenly start barking, running to the door and sounding quite vicious  I have no idea why; there’s nobody at the door, nobody in the hallway and no reason for the noise.  He also ignores all commands and I’m at a loss to know what to do.  Don, thankfully, has a bit of energy and has been more mobile than previously, so I am happy and relieved about that.  There are some moments of stiffness and aches, but he seems to be in good shape.   I got my new walker today!  (See photo)  The loaner will go back soon, and since it was a warm day we decided to take a drive and loo...

Well, fall weather is in full swing.  Below zero overnight, above 20C daytime.  No wonder people get sick!  Those swings are definitely hard on the body, and worse with downpours (like most of the day) with strong winds and flurries.  We had our first snow of the season overnight; it didn’t last, but it was temporarily white.  I’ve had a dog on my lap getting tangled in the crochet blanket most of the day.  He gets upset because his claws get trapped and I get upset because it’s going to leave holes.  Don was feeling a bit more energetic today, so that’s always encouraging for me. My hydration is continuing, and I have a little more energy and my blood pressure is creeping up, which is good (it was in the 70s, so abysmal)  I’m also able to eat a bit more, although I’m not sure if I’m gaining any weight.  My clothes are of no use as an indicator, as everything is overly large on me, so I can’t tell if things are bigger or not.  I can prob...

Today started off rainy, blustery and distinctly chilly.  The wind was quite strong from last night and carried on until just after noon.  It’s sunny now, but brisk, so it’s not as cold as it was.  Jerry is being extra mischievous today; he’s been hooking his claws in my new blanket and getting caught in the crochet, then he goes romping around trying to sneak food from one or the other of us.  He’s very attached to the former “fur” trim of my coat, and shakes it aggressively.  Don’s new medication arrived, and he’s been grumbling about the expense and saying that the over the counter version is cheaper.  It is, but the dose is about one-tenth of the prescription.  He’ll adjust once he tries it, I’m sure! For the last few nights, I’ve gone in to bed, snuggled under the covers to get warm, then I fall asleep with the light on and totally unaware of that fact.  I’ll wake up 2 - 3 hours later, turn off the light, plug in my electronics and go back to...

 It is 23C today.  That’s such a gorgeous, perfect temperature!  I can’t complain at all about this, so I’m soaking up the warmth, and just delighted at how lovely it is.  It’s also Halloween (something I don’t celebrate) but the kids should enjoy their wandering and begging as it’s not going to be too cold.  Jerry is right now draped over Don’s shoulder, holding a ball in his mouth and glaring at me.  He got upset with me because I had to yell at him for not listening and getting into mischief.  Don is still feeling off, and his knee continues to be a source of pain.  His doctor has prescribed a compound medication which should be delivered tomorrow and it will hopefully help his pain. I’m hooked up to an IV for hydration for the next week.  We’re hoping that it will help me feel better.  It’s about 8 hours a day and the nurse comes every morning to set it up.  I’ve noticed today that I don’t feel quite as drained although I’m stil...

Oak trees dressed in all their autumnal glory.  There were also several squirrels busily gathering acorns in preparation for winter… they’re also looking quite plump, so if the traditional lore is correct, we’ll have a snowy, cold, long winter.  It was distinctly cold this morning; wake up temperature was 1C and went all the way up to about 8.  Very chilly indeed.  Jerry is sulking at me, because he was alone for a couple of hours and he thinks that he’s gasoline.  Don’s knee continues to be painful and problematic, but somewhat better today so he was able to move a bit more easily, which is (of course) a relief to me. I had an appointment this morning with my doctor at the hospital and I did blood work at the same time, just to see how I was progressing.  I reported to my doctors about my fall on Thursday, and they checked my blood pressure to see if it dropped significantly when I changed position.  It doesn’t change dramatically so I’m not at an ele...

Cue the grumbling about the weather… although I think I’ll hold off for a bit as it’s comparatively mild today and there’s lower temperatures forecast for later this week.  It’s overcast with a dampness that just drags life down a bit, but it’s really not too bad.  It’s getting noticeably darker earlier, and by 4:30 we’re already approaching brillig ( Jabberwocky  from Alice ) and it’s starting to feel depressive.  Many people point out that November is their least favourite month as it tends to be grey, damp, chilly and dark!  Jerry spent the morning firmly planted on my lap and refused to move, just batted  me in the face with his paw if I hinted that he should change position.  Don is still in pain from his knee, and is regulating his use of his pain meds as the side effects aren’t the most fun things!  He’s been running the percussion massager quite a bit to relieve some of the stiffness.  He has a doctor’s appointment this week, so that ...

Ah, autumn… You know I’m not thrilled with colder weather; today was comparatively mild, but it’s definitely getting cooler.  Expect some major whining as the temperature drops.  You’ve been warned 😜  I’m watching a small dog stretching and rolling all over the sofa… he’s being all wriggly and playful since my worker left.  Don’s knee is giving him considerable difficulty, and he’s walking very slowly and with pain.  He says that it’s “clicking” and it “sticks” so he has more pain.   So I apologize for causing so much worry yesterday.  I appreciate your care and concern, I do.  I’m OK today; I slept deeply last night without  the need of any medications and made up for the night before.  I also got my other pain meds, that are less dramatic in their effect on my sleep, but I only needed 1 in the middle of the afternoon, so that’s also great.  I woke up this morning absolutely ravenous, and had a really good meal.  Happy to rep...

Someone turned the heat down overnight, and from all reports, they’re intending to turn it completely off  tonight!  Apparently the overnight temperature is supposed to be around freezing, and I’m not thrilled in the least by that.  I definitely think I’m in the wrong part of the wrong part of the country.  It’s warmer in southern Ontario, although not by much.  The Caribbean tempts, as it often does… Jerry is again attacking the trim of my coat, and is shaking it when he’s not growling and trying to subdue it into a more compliant position!  Don’s been suffering a bit, he says that his knee “locks up” and is painful when he’s trying to stand or walk on it.  He’s making an accompanying soundtrack of groans when he walks across the room.  His support worker has been asking for more work to do, which is diametrically opposed to mine, who prefers to sit and watch me… we’ll sort it out and find a balance. For the record, taking an opioid painkiller be...

It’s been literally warm  the last couple of days.  Can you imagine, 23C!  Sunny!  It’s just such a lovely surprise.  It won’t last, I know, and I’m not crazy about what’s coming, because I am a whiner and a wimp where winter weather is concerned.  Instead, I’m enjoying this lovely photo of a moonlit beach in Trinidad, where I can pretend I’m enjoying the warm breeze and smelling the salt air… The things I do to keep my spirits up when I feel less than chipper.  Jerry has been on my lap until a moment ago when I threw him off so I could type.  He’s standing next to me, giving me a stink eye and looking for a way to jump back on my lap.  The boys were happy to have me back home, and Jerry became even more Velcro than usual!  Don is having a nap right now; he says that he’s been sleeping better, although he falls asleep late.  I’m of the opinion that he’s watching far too much Cheeto-TV to get a good rest and he should find something ...

I know I was quiet for the last 2 days, but I was in Montreal.  The weather was mild, warm and lovely with loads of autumn sunshine, cold in the mornings and late evenings but beautiful during the day (and a couple of Canadians complained that 18C was “really hot”, silly wabbits!)  It was pleasant enough to discard coats and just have a shawl in case of cool breezes.  According to all reports, the boys were doing fine in my absence, although from all accounts Don wasn’t doing much eating or cooking, so I’m not sure what state he’s in when I get back tonight.  Jerry ignored me as usual when I was on the phone and wouldn’t even flick an ear to pretend that he was listening to me.  We had to leave him home when Don drove me to the station, and when he got back, Jerry attached himself and wouldn’t budge! Normally when I’m in a hotel or a strange room, I have difficulty sleeping; not this weekend.  I got into my pillow fort (I always build one in a hotel bed) sn...