Learning and understanding

Scarlet ibis heading to nest at sunset, Caroni Swamp, Trinidad.  I remember watching birds flocking overhead as night drew in, with shrieking parrots and brilliantly coloured macaws before the bats and owls emerged in the darkness.  Jerry had extended snuggle time today; he climbed into my lap, curled up and fell fast asleep… or so I thought.   I picked up my camera to take a photo of him and he immediately woke up, shook himself, knocked the phone out of my hand and jumped down!  Don is avidly watching a game, and the playoffs start tonight, so I’ll be amusing myself for the next few months.  At least I have books and several series to stream (for when I get access to the TV!) I had good intentions of going to sleep early last night, and said that I was going to bed around 9pm… Don went channel surfing and found the Billy Joel 100th concert at Madison Square Gardens  and there went my sleep!  I watched it again this morning, as we’d switched over abou...

It’s still poui season in Trinidad, so I’m getting several photos of trees in full bloom.  I always loved this time of year, when the trees are so glorious, so I’m going to share them with you.  Look at that golden carpet of flowers that fell from the tree!  Isn’t that beautiful?  Jerry is right now attacking a plastic bottle, tossing it around, trying to open it and having a great time playing with it.  He seems happy with it, just quietly gnawing on it, so I’ll leave him for a while.  He’s always been a “chewy” dog, and the only thing he can’t really destroy are rubber or plastic items.  Anything fabric is shredded in moments… Don needed to take his pain meds today as he said that his legs were bad, so that means that he may very well not get a good night’s sleep — the meds keep him awake.  We’ll see how it goes; his team has 1 more game this year before their ultimate elimination, so he’s got to find someone else to support! I didn’t sleep well...

This was taken on the weekend at my friend’s patio; as I mentioned, it was a lovely relaxing day, and I thought I’d share this with you.  I have to admit that I’m less worried about my thinning hair than I am about my fading eyebrows and lashes, so I’m practicing my goddaughter’s tips for redrawing them so they look somewhat natural.  At the moment, I have a small dog lying on my toes, giving occasional barks at — I have no idea what.  I usually say that it’s the resident ghost when he does this.  Might be the sound of a leaf blowing in the wind, or his disagreement with the news or a complaint about the quality of his dinner.  It’s not constant, just every few minutes a small “yip,” almost like a reminder.  Don finished his errands this morning, finally.  A while ago the car began making an odd noise (you know the kind) and he was nervous that it was something major.  Thankfully it wasn’t too bad; when he went yesterday they wanted to keep it ove...

I promise I won’t moan about how meltingly, suffocatingly, boiling hot it is and how much I’m longing for thunderstorms and rain to break this heat wave, which is just dragging on and on… I’ll just say that it’s summer, Ottawa is demonstrating that it can be hot and miserable with vigour that’s better spent on other things!  Jerry has been lapping up his water at a great rate; I tried putting ice into his bowl, and he doesn’t seem to enjoy it.  He just noses the ice a bit, looks at me with disapproval, and walks around sadly until it melts (not long, it’s been 🥵)  Then he jumps on my lap and stretches out his telescopic legs to get his tummy rubbed.  He likes the fan blowing in his face, too.  I’m loving the fact that I can see Don’s face, instead of a wall of hair!  I rather missed his smile when his lips were hidden, and it’s so much better to see the full smile.  I’ll stop harping on that too, but I’ll just mention that he looks so mischievous when...

It’s been snowing all day again today.  We’re apparently trying hard to catch up with the month’s average snowfall — we’ve received less than a third of the usual, and as one perky meteorologist said, “January isn’t over yet, so we still can reduce the deficit!”  😝  My tummy is still somewhat unsettled, although improved a bit over yesterday.  I made a scrambled egg and toast for breakfast (my REFIR always laughs at me when I say that, because I cook 1 egg and 1 slice of bread, and she insists that’s “not a full meal” but I’ve done that for years) and I struggled to eat it.  Later, I did some wontons and ate 4, which was again a challenge.  I don’t like feeling like this, because I’m actually hungry  but I feel stuffed after a couple of bites.  The boys are watching football (American) to see who qualifies for the championship.  Jerry, like me, is not especially interested, and has been leaping around with his squeaky toy wanting it thrown; ...

Happy New Year of the Rabbit.  I wish you all long life, prosperity, love and luck.   A group of 10 of us headed out for dim sum, as is traditional.  It snowed a little (apparently also traditional, 😂, as when I looked back on previous outings we were snowed on!) We were happily seated in a corner of a fairly busy (not like in the before times) restaurant, served a selection of absolutely delicious, piping hot food.  It was lovely to see that group, a mixture of old and new friends, with very lively conversations and lots of laughs (there were some periods of silence, always a sign that the food is excellent.). Jerry objected strenuously to my departure; he growled and generally expressed his displeasure.  He jumped on Don and pushed me away when I went to hug Don before I left.  The boys were happily curled up watching sports until I got back home.  I don’t think that I’ll eat before tomorrow… dim sum is amazingly filling!  And everyone went hom...

 Yesterday, I was very happy that my back did not go into spasms although I was very tired at the end of the day.  Today, though, all of my movements from yesterday and the day before erupted into being and I now know that they collaborate with each other for maximum pain. No arguments about that!! The muscles are going off like a series of fireworks, although I will grudgingly confess that perhaps  doing laundry was not one of my better ideas.  I think that I will need to hire a non-judgemental cleaner to come in and do the housework, including hanging curtains and all those things.  Recommendations are welcome.  The boys are currently at the park, where I understand that Jerry is complaining about the heat but isn’t ready to come home yet.  No comment on his priorities 😆  I’m taking a moment to wish a happy birthday to one of my oldest friends, who I unfortunately don’t see too often.  I hope that it was a good day! As frustrating as the p...

I had a rather poor night last night. For some reason, I had a dreadful attack of diarrhoea which kept me up late. Then I slept for an hour, waking to find that my blood sugar was abysmal. When I finally went to bed then, it took a long while to fall asleep and I kept on waking. This afternoon-just after lunch-I bent over to pick up something I'd dropped and there was a horrific flare of pain  along my left side. I've been resting quietly, cuddling a small, black dog, hoping for my meds to take effect. The pain is a bit less, but still present, so I'll keep resting. The tiny  overlord agrees, and is curled on my feet planning some evil deeds... Much to my annoyance, since my radiation, my hair has been falling out. I am NOT happy with that! At least my hair is short enough that I can wear my wig if needed. It's unfortunate to have all of these less-than-positive bits of news today. after I'd had such fun yesterday. I rather like it when stores aren't in full-blo...

AARGH! If it ain't one thing... we can mark "sleep" off the list of problems. I've had over a full week of 6+ hours a night, with small naps during the day. Having accomplished that goal, I was hoping for a couple of days of normalcy and perhaps some dull times. But no!  Today I had a resurgence of pain, for no clearly identifiable reason, accompanied by a very unhappy tummy. that will be another day or so. <sigh> oh well,  Life isn't boring, at least. I was listening to some music today. I realized that I'm stuck in a rut with that. I'm really into ruts on things that I like; we'll come back to this. But music-I tend to go to 80's and 90's greatest hits. Those are my favourite eras for music, generally speaking. There's some overlap from other times, but the majority of songs are in those years. What is it about music from the 80's that makes it so enjoyable? Yes, it's the music then I listened to as a teenager, which gives i...

  I attended my first post-lockdown party today. It was a Hawaiian-themed 17th birthday for a young man who I knew before he was a twinkle in his mother's eye. She was my first hairdresser when I moved to Canada all those years ago, and we became friends. I look back at the last 20+ years, and I am again amazed at the passage of time! I remembered when we were told of the impending arrival of this young man, and planned excitedly for his coming. It was also lovely to have a chance to catch up with my friend, her mom, and the rest of the family. We haven't, of course seen anything of each other in the last 18-20 months, and the lifting of restrictions yesterday meant a chance to gather in her back yard and interact at a safe distance. I'm honestly delighted to be able to celebrate with them, and to share in these family moments.  I'm touched that my friends have made it possible for me to share  their family moments over the past 20+ years that I've been in Canada. I...

I had another  broken night last night. I d idn't fall asleep until after 3am, and I was awake again by 6. No reason why. I was awake like that. I can't even blame shopping on binge-watching TV. Speaking of, we binged all of season 1 of "Rebel" which was excellent; it's a pity that it's been cancelled.😢 I did sign the renewal petition so fingers crossed for season 2! Great writing, excellent cast, and the plots are gripping.     As a result of not sleeping well, I was sluggish again today. I've confirmed that if I'm overheated, I'm in more pain. Today  was humid and hot, and my pain level was higher. That's going to be a challenge to manage when I go to Trinidad. I mean the temperature in Trinidad is consistently above 30c I cannot make it suddenly cool, nor can I reasonably expect to drop it below 20, so I will need to manage it. But that being said, I'll have to go carefully. Apart from that n rest so let's hope they're right. I...

 Oh my what a day. Today was day one of physio, and I have never been so tired in all of my life. It’s been just one thing after another and I feel rather like I’ve been running a marathon all day! Add onto that today was also a day of tummy upset so it’s a combination of everything I think that my body has just said, “That’s enough!  That’s it screw, it I’m not doing anymore you must be a crazy woman!”  So this is the first one I’m going to be dictating completely from the beginning; please excuse any grammar errors I’ll try to correct them on a quick pass through but no guarantees of that. Your forgiveness is much appreciated. I’m positive note I did two sessions of Physio and one session of OT. First period of Physio was doing some bed exercises and some chair exercises to help strengthen my arms and legs and then the second session was some walking back-and-forth and some more exercises for leg strengthening. Sounds pretty impressive to say, “I’m going to the gym” ...

 I’m finding that my conversations are looping back on me a bit, so please forgive the pretentiousness of the Latin! Today’s reference is “a right is still valid even if abused” so that something right if it is right.     The photo is the view from my window at supper time (at the ripe hour of 5pm, because dinner isn’t dinner if it’s after dark, for some reason!). I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do, even if I’m not yet allowed outside). I’m looking forward to the easing of restrictions so that I can join in the grownups in having a later afternoon walk.  I’m told that having a grownup age walk is a big deal and when I’m old enough it’s something to enjoy!  Meanwhile, I vicariously participate in outdoor activities.  Thanks everyone for your comments on the photos and for your many kind words on the blog itself.  I appreciate everything that you say, and your thoughts.  Again, I note that I can’t reply to everyone — the energy needed exceeds ...

  I would so  love a glass of wine!  But that’s still going to have to wait.  I explained to my (new) set of doctors that my birthday is in exactly 2 weeks and apart from me being back at home, I will be hosting the annual culling of the lobsters and I will be having a glass of good wine. They think that I’m joking, but this is one of my serious goals.  The annual lobster dinner was already postponed last year because of Covid, so the little leggy buggers got away for a year, but that’s not on the cards for this year.  There will need to be a dinner; even if we arrange to have the lobsters shipped to home and we Zoom the meal!  I know that there’s already champagne chilling waiting for me to get home! Here’s the view from my bed.  I have a window!!  And a tree!!  Those things make me happy as you know, and when I arrived here this afternoon my soul felt comforted.  As you can see, there’s a lot of window space, and there are 4 of us...

I’m still at the Civic for another night and thoroughly enjoying my window.  It’s silly, isn’t it, just what a huge impact the window has on my mood.  Today I spent a lot of time sitting up and just people watching.  I know that I spent too long sitting because my back is spasming and the muscles are extremely painful, but, and I can’t emphasize this enough, there is a window and I could look outside at greenery! Post: Edit  A room with a view So I did.  There were people walking around, birds flying, and I think that there was at least one squirrel running along a branch.  After 3 full weeks of seeing only drab green curtains, I’m perfectly happy to sit and look at the tree!  And that even meant murmuring Wordsworth to myself for a bit.   Apart from my tree watching, we removed the last of my extraneous tubing and pulled out the sub-clavian triple lumen central line.  I know more medical terminology than I’ve ever needed for everyday life, a...

So it was a comparatively good day.  I slept quite a bit off and on and I got some rest.  Obviously I needed it, because I kept falling asleep every five minutes!  I went for a longer walk down the hall and across one of the side halls around the square so pretty good.  Of course I’m increasing pain as I moved more, so more pain meds, and so it goes.  I’m still well under my pain dose from before surgery and I have a new cocktail of meds so we continue to adjust as we go. It’s Sunday, and I woke up early enough that nobody had yet closed the blinds on the windows at the end of the ward so I saw little streaks of pink light on the ceiling.  I was able to watch a Mass before the nurses started rounds and managed some prayers while it was still.  That was a good and necessary pause before the day unfolded. As I mentioned before, I’m in a ward for neurosurgical oncology, one of many specializations of which I had been happily unaware.  I mean, when I ...

 Everyone knows that as a Trini I am a Carnival fake. Although I’m usually at home during the celebration, it’s because of my mother’s and niece’s birthdays and nothing to do with the waves of creative madness that flood and uplift the country.  This is a complete contrast to my siblings (blood and spirit) without whom Carnival couldn’t start.   In fact, it’s a standing joke that I’m sometimes on a flight out  of the country as the celebrations start. I enjoy the quiet sidebars... being able to listen to the music, feeling the energy, seeing the delight as everyone prepares.  I’m not a fan of the crowds, the drunkenness, the mess and the massive disorder.  Why am I bringing this up now, in the middle of the night? The music is great. In my mind, music is a language of God that underlies everything and it links humanity.  Yesterday, I had a chat with two of my  nurses as they helped me get in and out of the bed and we started to talk about differen...

I thought that I’d make a change today and set up a game... let’s see how many of these you can solve! The following list is titles of blog posts (you can verify them on the main page) that are taken from various song lyrics.  The songs are a mixture of pop music (1940s-2010), songs from Sesame Street, hymns and calypsos.  All except one are English language (marked with an *)  in general, the phrase is not the title of the song...  Full marks for identifying the song and the artist.  Winner will get something in the mail from me   I look forward to seeing your responses.  I’ll publish the complete list on February 7.  Play on! Title Whole heap of zing The essence of all Dreaming of bigger things The whole year through O res mirabilis Try to bridge the emptiness Christmas changes too You can read me anything And a lots of work to be done It wasn’t me... Eat the dishes Battle lines being drawn A lifetime and the aftermath Things you don’t understan...