Learning and understanding

This will be short. I’ve been struggling for the past week trying to breathe and walk around  I’m very weak and I’m tending to be in bed more often.  Not sleeping, just trying to be comfortable  I can manage to walk the 12 steps from my bed to the bathroom, and after a couple of minutes, walk back and collapse.  If I walk to the chair in the living room (32 steps) it feels like a marathon and I need a longer rest before I can eat/ talk/ drink… Poor Don is doing what he can to look after me but I’m causing him distress and pain  I feel awful for that. Jerry eagerly waits for me to come out and plants himself on my lap for as long as I can stay out.  My friends have been working on feeding me, for which I’m grateful and I’m doing my best to eat as much as possible.  I admit that my worker made me a scrambled egg on toast, but I only ate half.  I had some soup with dumplings and some TT pelau!! Lovely lady who makes meals twice a week. I’m lying down...

Well, fall weather is in full swing.  Below zero overnight, above 20C daytime.  No wonder people get sick!  Those swings are definitely hard on the body, and worse with downpours (like most of the day) with strong winds and flurries.  We had our first snow of the season overnight; it didn’t last, but it was temporarily white.  I’ve had a dog on my lap getting tangled in the crochet blanket most of the day.  He gets upset because his claws get trapped and I get upset because it’s going to leave holes.  Don was feeling a bit more energetic today, so that’s always encouraging for me. My hydration is continuing, and I have a little more energy and my blood pressure is creeping up, which is good (it was in the 70s, so abysmal)  I’m also able to eat a bit more, although I’m not sure if I’m gaining any weight.  My clothes are of no use as an indicator, as everything is overly large on me, so I can’t tell if things are bigger or not.  I can prob...

Happy thanksgiving from us.  It’s a brisk day — it was 1C at noon today — and slightly overcast.  Beautiful day otherwise. My sweater and blanket are definitely getting a workout, and I’ve been wrapped in one or the other all afternoon.  Right now I’m hunting online for slipper boots so my feet stay warm!  Jerry has been tearing apart the “fur” trim from my winter jacket.  I took it off the coat this morning, it fell from me and was grabbed before I could pick it up!  He’s got his little paws wrapped around it and is dozing… Don’s cooking turkey and some trimmings, so dinner will be a little later this evening.  His stuff is always good, so I just stay out of the kitchen when he’s cooking, and just enjoy the results! Last night I fell asleep around 8pm.  I’m still stunned by that.  I slept solidly until midnight and then after that I woke intermittently.  Part of my discomfort I realize comes from the pressure on my coccyx and then on my...

My sister sent this from her birthday picnic last weekend… I’m jealous!  It continues to be blazing hot and muggy and there are storms forecast, but judging from the details they aren’t likely to be serious.  Jerry is still unhappy with the heat, and will prefer the expected cooler weather at the start of the week.  Don is still suffering from the heat and pain in his legs, and I still don’t know what to do to help; but he’s bone stubborn. So, good news!  I’ve been assigned the PSW I requested (but was told wasn’t available as she had too many hours) for 4 hours a week of my assigned 8.  It seems that the calls from my doctor’s office had an effect!  We’ll just have to work on the other 4 hours and get them down to zero with the odd substitution for holidays and illness… I’m pleased, and I’m sure that I’ll sleep better tonight (except for the heat, which continues to be worse than tropical!).  You guys are awesome, and clearly  know your ice cream...

Truth… in a cute little image.  Today was hotter than it has been, and the weekend is forecast to warm up some more.  I’ve reached a stage in life when I am not crazy about either traditional Christmas weather or the dog days of summer.  I’m getting old, cranky and crotchety… sad, isn’t it?  My dislike is stronger since I’m not as able to be as independent as I’d like.  Jerry has managed to find ways to insert himself so that I’m twisted and he’s sitting in a strange position, but totally comfortable!  How does he do it?  Don is feeling a bit more lively which is encouraging, although I’m tuned out totally on the subject of politics and elections, which are sadly going to be a constant noise for the next 3.5 months. I’m happy to report that I got a different support worker today, who is one of the ones I requested as an alternate.  She says that she will be with me every Friday now, which is good, as she’s one who does look after me.  My regu...

Summer is settling in; it’s forecast to be warm and sunny for the next week or so, which is fine by me (rain is also fine; as long as we have no ice rain, life is good.) Jerry is in the mood to play, and has been throwing his ball when he’s not jumping on my lap and he’s keeping Don from napping on the sofa.  It’s a sleepy summer afternoon, and if I were in the countryside, it’s the kind of weather where you’d sit on the porch with a cold drink and rock yourself asleep while watching the birds and insects… I am still working on trying to eat more.  Today’s substitution was cream instead of milk in my tea… I can’t yet use it for things like cereal, but it works with oatmeal (which I’m not really eating because it’s too low calorie.)  My fibre content, for those of you who are concerned, is coming from dates and prunes and the odd supplement.  (I rather like dates; and in a few weeks, I’ll be double fisting plums 😆)  I’m really tempted to sew a couple of fishing ...

What an absolutely beautiful day it is!  It’s sunny, light breeze, blue skies with tiny puffy clouds and 19C.  Just needing a light scarf or jacket if you’re outdoors for any length of time.  Plus the lilacs, peonies and irises are all in full bloom so it’s just looking lush and pretty with the sunshine.  Gorgeous!  Jerry is sitting on the sofa, ears perked, looking at Don and myself as if to ask why we aren’t outside letting him dominate all the fields and bark at dogs… Don was happily watching a Willie Nelson tribute this afternoon, and enjoying listening to the music of the “red headed stranger” and the guest artistes, which included (among others) Snoop Dogg and Keith Richards… and a LOT of weed references! LOL I admit that I enjoyed it too, as I am constantly amazed at how prolific a songwriter he is. One of my friends decided to “kidnap” me today and we went to celebrate her son’s team winning the Eurocup in waterpolo this year.  We had a lovely littl...

It’s a beautiful, cool day today, with loads of sunshine and a cool breeze.  The humidity is lower than it was, and it’s picturesque.  Jerry is taking a nap at the moment; he’s been having a busy afternoon of schnoodle: singing along with a fire engines; chasing his ball around and being a little alarm for people who ring his  doorbell.  Don is the recipient of several boxes of stuff — I have no idea, and am not asking — and has delusions of being a handyman (again, I ask no questions) plus is invested in a few games over the weekend.  We’ll see what he manages 😁 Yesterday was a series of medical appointments at opposite ends of the city.  Last night was my scan, scheduled for 7:30pm.  We got there, I called for a porter to wheel me upstairs, and after 3 phone calls to follow up, a porter arrived about an HOUR after I first called.  Thankfully, the helpful man on the phone contacted the CT unit to let them know that I was in the building waiting ...

Here we are last night, heading out to a very fun dinner with my friend from Vancouver and my best friend here.  I thought it would be nicer than a photo of me hooked up to chemo drugs!  Jerry is a happy puppy as it’s sunny and warm and he got to run around in a new area today as they waited for me to finish treatment.  Don is fairly active (for him) and is moving relatively easily.  He was up pretty late last night and early today to catch up on assorted games, and I got a long discourse on the women’s playoff games… they’re both curled up right now watching TV. I had a dreadful night last night — there’s no other word for it.  My tummy was very  unhappy ☹️ and I was up every 90 minutes.  I was exhausted and dragging by the time we had to leave for chemotherapy… I dozed off in the waiting room and had to be woken up to go to the pod!  But after treatment I felt a lot more alert and less dragging, so that’s all to the good.  Plus I’ve gained ...

It’s been a temporary return to the freezer; the temperature hasn’t crossed 0 in about 3 days!  There was snow forecast, but it seems to have stayed east over the St. Lawrence and avoided Ottawa, not that I’m complaining.  I’m back in blankets and sweaters, and Jerry is stealing all the throws that he can pull off anyone.  He’s been good at standing on my lap and blocking my view of the TV, or sitting on my iPad so I can’t use it… very clever moves!  Don is good, and is moving comparatively easily for him.  He’s also got the order for his chest X-ray so that’s happening.  Can you hear my sigh of relief? Yesterday was more unsettled than I’d like.  I had an allergic reaction to something , I don’t know what, and was up for several hours coughing and sneezing until the allergy meds FINALLY kicked in and I fell asleep around 3am.  Then I was talking with my regular support worker, who’d been ill for a few days, and finally I made her get an ambulance...

It was a mild, sunny day today, which is surprising because it started at -23 at 7am.  It felt almost springlike this afternoon, when we reached 4C.  It’s supposed to get up to almost 10 tomorrow, which is freakish for mid-late February, but to restore winter, it’s due to be -19 on Saturday.  Guess who will  not  be leaving the house that day (apart from the fact that she’ll be connected to an IV for 8 hours)!  Jerry has been on my lap for the last hour and a bit, patting my chin with his little paw and moving my hand to ensure that his tummy is fully massaged.  He was quite comfortable until he decided that Don looked lonely on the sofa and moved.  Don was having a challenging morning, and thinks that his pain meds are making him queasy.  He’s feeling a bit better now, but is still slow.  Gotta say that age and infirmity are not a good combination!  We got a call to say that he’s been declined for support services, and the only exp...

It snowed overnight, and this morning everything was all pretty, covered in a white blanket.  It’s snowed off and on the rest of the day, and I saw reports of multi-car pileups due to whiteout conditions on the major highways about an hour away.  More snow is expected tonight.  It’s also very  cold, which makes the outdoor enthusiasts happy because there might be better ice, whereas I am pretending to be a wrapped roti with multilayer insulation!  The tiny dictator is in his playful mood, and is trying to steal anything that he can and run away with it.  I’ve so far removed the peel of a mandarin that I put on a plate for a moment, a cupcake liner, and Don lost a slice of toast, because we aren’t quick enough when the little face suddenly pops up.  I put stuff on the coffee table while I disentangle my IV pole… and swoosh… gone.  Don is watching another true crime documentary, which is his “no sports on today” hobby.  I’m horrified at how man...

January weather continues, and while I’m not its biggest fan, I’m even less  a fan of traditional February weather!  In the past 25 years, it was a standing joke that a condition of my continued employment was a month in the Caribbean.  😝  The first time I stayed here in February was also the first time I experienced -50 temperatures, with windchills close to -60!  I vowed that never again would I do that!  I did fairly well until the pandemic, then, well, all bets were off.  I think I need a Star Trek- like transporter so I can be in Trinidad, soaking up sun, warmth and many hugs instead of here with the sad grey skies… Jerry is hiding out with Don right now and has spent the afternoon on his lap instead of mine.  I’m admittedly jealous as usually I’m the dog-bed-du-choix!  Don’s going into withdrawal, as one of his sports is coming to an end.  There were FIVE games on today!  FIVE!!!  Men just morph into a couch and don’t mo...

Hello Polar Vortex!  I’m happy that I’m not out West at the moment, where it’s a super cold -40, but Ottawa was at -20C this morning, warming up to -11… Jerry is happily shredding his “chew proof” toy and has detached the legs and is now working on one of the side seams.  It hasn’t been a month since Christmas, and while he really likes it, it definitely doesn’t rate as “chew proof”!  Don is watching Buffalo play football after they had to dig the stadium out from over a metre of snow!  It was somewhat unusual to watch snow piled that deep, with kids trying to find the chairs and build snowmen — while on this side of the border, there hasn’t been a flake of snow!  The snow all came off Lake Erie and just avoided anything north of the Canadian border!  We’ve had a big dump on the weekend, and promises of more to come. I had a little hiccup yesterday — I think I mentioned — where my IV slowed down tremendously.  It should have been 6 hours, and instead i...

It is the feast of the Epiphany, also known as the Dia de los Reyes, and the end of the Christmas season!  Tomorrow begins Orthodox Christmas, so we’ll begin with more wishes then!  It’s a full on winter day with the threat of a nor’easter in the offing.  So far, we don’t have any snow, but we do have wind, which is howling like several banshees, making the little dog very nervous and unhappy.  I can hear it outside, and the windows are rattling from the force of it, coming from the wrong direction… normally, storms/wind, etc, blow in from the west; this one is an east wind and it’s cold and miserable.  Jerry was contentedly pulling the stuffing out of his “chew proof” toy this afternoon when it was still calm; he’s now curled into a trembling ball, snuggled against Don and refusing to move.  He hates the wind, especially when it’s howling like this.  He and Don are in a little pile on the sofa; Don’s watching a true crime (today is about David Koresh)...

Another somewhat overcast day, but mild enough that I could leave the door ajar for part of the day.  Not now, though; I’m rolled in a blanket and pretending to be a wrapped roti 😆  Jerry is still happily playing with his toys from yesterday which are still holding their shape, but are beginning to lose the stuffing… He was on my lap until he heard the microwave oven get turned on, and is now in the kitchen, looking hopefully at Don’s plate LOL  There were several hockey games on today, with the Juniors and another tournament in both of which Canada played and (I think) won their opening games.  At least, I assume so, because there was some cheering, followed by some log sawing 🤪 I slept like a log last night, and reluctantly got up this morning because I was warm and cozy!  But I ate lots today.  I’d been dreaming of a scrambled egg-and-ham breakfast, which I made and ate in it entirety.  That, I’ll have you know, was a standard sized meal back in t...

Sunset photo today; I should really also try for a moon picture, as it’s a lovely full moon tonight.  Picture is from my sister, who just returned home from their visit to Trinidad with the small people.  The kids fell asleep in the taxi ride, and I imagine they’re heading to bed at the moment.  Jerry continues to be Mr. Cuddles, and won’t get off my lap unless I’m going to the bathroom, and he accompanies me.  It’s less amusing in person than when I describe it, but there you go.  Don is complaining about a pain in his shoulder, which recurs after he had a fall a couple of years ago and it tends to flare up in the cold.  There’s hockey on tonight, so he’ll be happy watching his team skating around. I’m STARVING tonight!  I ate 2 sarma, which my friend had dropped off a couple days ago, so I reheated and wolfed them down.  Normally that would be enough, but I was still hungry, so I had a can of Ensure, a fruit cup and some cheese and crackers. ...

I’m complaining about the cold… I haven’t been able to get warm all afternoon!  It’s cold enough that my teeth are literally  chattering, and I’m shaking.  It’s me more than the ambient temperature, I know; it’s not that cold, but I seem to have difficulty regulating my body warmth.  I’m wrapped in a blanket, wearing a sweater over a long sleeved top and still can’t get warm.  Jerry hasn’t left my side or my lap for more than about 15 minutes at a time lately… I know he’s trying to comfort me, and I do appreciate it and his cuddles.  I would also like a few minutes where I can do stuff without having my lap being rearranged and fluffed up like a cushion, or stretch out at night so I’m not twisted like a pretzel!  Don has been very supportive of my moodiness and unwillingness to talk for the past few days.  He’s feeling reasonably ok, and moves easily with the walker, so I’m relieved and happy about that.  He still has visions of going out sho...