Learning and understanding

This scarecrow is me, taken about 5 minutes ago.  I’ve had to be admitted urgently to the hospice, and that required my doctors to be as persuasive as possible while I argued to avoid this fate.  However, I was not doing well at home, and I couldn’t walk more than a few steps, I wasn’t eating a lot and struggled to breathe; made worse trying to find a spot that was comfortable for me to sit without aggravating the sore on my back.  The room is private, fairly large and I’m in the bed.   I felt bad leaving Don; he barely had time to register that I was going before the transport guys were wheeling me out on a stretcher.  Jerry is very annoyed and wouldn’t stop barking… but anyway, they got me here, installed me, and I’m ok.  The staff have all been very kind and helpful, and they seem very committed to ensuring that I’m well cared for.  We hope that a few days of rest and food on demand will make a difference to my recovery. Meanwhile, though, I’m in ro...

 It is 23C today.  That’s such a gorgeous, perfect temperature!  I can’t complain at all about this, so I’m soaking up the warmth, and just delighted at how lovely it is.  It’s also Halloween (something I don’t celebrate) but the kids should enjoy their wandering and begging as it’s not going to be too cold.  Jerry is right now draped over Don’s shoulder, holding a ball in his mouth and glaring at me.  He got upset with me because I had to yell at him for not listening and getting into mischief.  Don is still feeling off, and his knee continues to be a source of pain.  His doctor has prescribed a compound medication which should be delivered tomorrow and it will hopefully help his pain. I’m hooked up to an IV for hydration for the next week.  We’re hoping that it will help me feel better.  It’s about 8 hours a day and the nurse comes every morning to set it up.  I’ve noticed today that I don’t feel quite as drained although I’m stil...

Ah, autumn… You know I’m not thrilled with colder weather; today was comparatively mild, but it’s definitely getting cooler.  Expect some major whining as the temperature drops.  You’ve been warned 😜  I’m watching a small dog stretching and rolling all over the sofa… he’s being all wriggly and playful since my worker left.  Don’s knee is giving him considerable difficulty, and he’s walking very slowly and with pain.  He says that it’s “clicking” and it “sticks” so he has more pain.   So I apologize for causing so much worry yesterday.  I appreciate your care and concern, I do.  I’m OK today; I slept deeply last night without  the need of any medications and made up for the night before.  I also got my other pain meds, that are less dramatic in their effect on my sleep, but I only needed 1 in the middle of the afternoon, so that’s also great.  I woke up this morning absolutely ravenous, and had a really good meal.  Happy to rep...

Happy thanksgiving from us.  It’s a brisk day — it was 1C at noon today — and slightly overcast.  Beautiful day otherwise. My sweater and blanket are definitely getting a workout, and I’ve been wrapped in one or the other all afternoon.  Right now I’m hunting online for slipper boots so my feet stay warm!  Jerry has been tearing apart the “fur” trim from my winter jacket.  I took it off the coat this morning, it fell from me and was grabbed before I could pick it up!  He’s got his little paws wrapped around it and is dozing… Don’s cooking turkey and some trimmings, so dinner will be a little later this evening.  His stuff is always good, so I just stay out of the kitchen when he’s cooking, and just enjoy the results! Last night I fell asleep around 8pm.  I’m still stunned by that.  I slept solidly until midnight and then after that I woke intermittently.  Part of my discomfort I realize comes from the pressure on my coccyx and then on my...

It was 6C this morning!  That was distinctly chilly, and a bit of a shock first thing when you crawl out from under a warm blanket.  I dove into a hot cup of tea, and it’s been pleasanter since.  Jerry was waiting impatiently for me to get into my chair and has been attached to my lap since.  He got out for a bit, so he’s resting now, and a bit quieter, which is good.  Don is watching recordings of sports and I’m ignoring that… and I just heard a rumble of thunder.  We were promised a “late autumn storm” tonight, so it seems that the Jewish New Year and Navratri will be washed clean tonight. My energy is fluctuating a bit.  I have moments when I have a lot, and others when I just think fond thoughts of my bed!  Today was middling… I’m a little leery that my iron is still low, and I’m nervous about that.  It’s normal, I know, to have these reactions, but after last Tuesday and the extreme weakness I felt, anything that makes me feel short of b...

The little photo app gremlins are back at work, and I can’t access my pictures.  So, sadly, no images of lush gardens to share!  It was a beautiful day today, slight autumnal coolness in the air this morning, but it was pleasantly warm.  Definite shorts-and-tshirt weather and a lovely day to return to school.  I spoke with my boys this morning, and the tiny dictator acknowledged my presence by wagging his little nub of a tail, but he still refused to look at the camera, just rolled on his back and tried to knock the phone out of Don’s hand!  Don looks like his normal self, and seems to have a bit more energy, which I always like, so that was a good start to the day! I was awake at 7am because it’s the first day of school and the morning volume was unusually high 😝 I did sleep quite well, although that is far too early for me to be out of bed… I don’t remember how I used to manage to be awake, functioning and in the office by 7:30 regularly!  Honestly! ...

Lovely sunny weekend, with a bit of a breeze outdoors.  We found it was getting chilly last night and had to move from the back patio indoors, and same this afternoon.  Bit of clouds in the morning, and it’s distinctly cool overnight, which is lovely for sleep!  My boys continue to enjoy their grass widowerhood, and are apparently having considerable fun without me.  Jerry has now reached the stage of knocking the phone out of Don’s hand when he’s texting as well as when we’re on a call; so that conveys his opinions.  Don says that he’s eating — and today sent me a copy of a receipt from delivery — so I’ll have to believe him.  I’ve also asked someone to pop in and just check in on him, and all reports suggest that he’s behaving.  Either he’s turned over a new leaf or he’s getting better at being sneaky about stuff! In case you were wondering, I’m fine and having a great, if tiring time, with the family.  I slept late for the last couple of days, ...

There was an impressive thunderstorm this morning before 7.   The rest of the day was cool and overcast, a big difference from yesterday’s sunny warmth.  Either way, though, it’s all part of the fun and we’re enjoying the end of the school holidays.  My boys are well, and don’t seem to be missing me too much, which is both hard to believe and yet, reasonable… they’re probably indulging in feasts of sweet things at levels that they wouldn’t normally be allowed!  Jerry has reached the stage of not responding to my voice and turning away from my image on the phone, so I’m officially being ignored!  Don seems to be feeling a bit better and sleeping reasonably well, although I’m equally sure that he’s telling me partial truths and hiding details that he thinks I won’t notice since I only see his face on the screen. I am recovering from the trip; it’s taking a little longer than I expected, although I knew that it would be difficult for me.  I’m sleeping well, th...

It’s been wet, cloudy and grey all day today… and cool; feels a bit like the beginning of autumn.  I don’t mind, I do like the cooler days and nights and the breezes that bring hints of even cooler nights.  I’ll begin to complain when it’s too cold to wear sandals and my toes have to be battery farmed again!  My feet are always happiest when they’re in open-toed sandals with nary a sock in sight!  Jerry has been on my lap for most of the day, as he’s woven himself into some interesting positions for naps.  He was lying on his back, paws in the air, just wanting to be petted and cuddled like an infant… spoiled puppy!  Don continues to be in pain, and I have no idea of what I can do to help, short of drugging him and having him bodily carried to a doctor… and I would, except he now outweighs me by at least 40lbs and I can barely lift a 2kg bag of sugar… I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling like I hadn’t eaten in days.  I have zero diff...

A beautiful, mild sunny day with a lovely breeze; just ideal I think.  It’s one of those where in the old days I’d go for a walk for hours with no destination in mind and just wander by the river with small dog or find a patio somewhere and sit with a book and a drink and just enjoy the weather.  I miss doing that sort of thing… really.  Jerry just pushed my iPad off my lap and inserted himself for a nap, so I had to stop typing until he decided that he needed to bother Don.  Plus I fooled him by picking up the phone and pressing a couple of buttons.  He interprets short phone conversations as someone coming up and he was on alert to head to the door and bark 😆  Don is ok; his leg continues to bother him and he’s complaining about the cold… so I’m keeping some distance from him as he may be ill. Sleep was better last night, thankfully.  It felt good to have a few solid hours of rest, instead of waking and turning all night long.  I met with the c...

My sister sent this from her birthday picnic last weekend… I’m jealous!  It continues to be blazing hot and muggy and there are storms forecast, but judging from the details they aren’t likely to be serious.  Jerry is still unhappy with the heat, and will prefer the expected cooler weather at the start of the week.  Don is still suffering from the heat and pain in his legs, and I still don’t know what to do to help; but he’s bone stubborn. So, good news!  I’ve been assigned the PSW I requested (but was told wasn’t available as she had too many hours) for 4 hours a week of my assigned 8.  It seems that the calls from my doctor’s office had an effect!  We’ll just have to work on the other 4 hours and get them down to zero with the odd substitution for holidays and illness… I’m pleased, and I’m sure that I’ll sleep better tonight (except for the heat, which continues to be worse than tropical!).  You guys are awesome, and clearly  know your ice cream...

The end my strawberry cream cake… so yummy, very decadent, and I hope that it made up at least some of the calorie deficit!  We’re under a thunderstorm watch here, and it feels like it.  The air is oppressive and it’s very still and humid.  The kind of weather that would generate migraines in the old days when I suffered from those.  Just ugh! 😩 Jerry doesn’t particularly like this weather; he gets restless and unsettled.  It’s odd, since fireworks don’t seem to distress him at all, but thunder and wind make him want to hide under someone.  He’s been coming to get extra affection, and keeps moving from one to the other of us.  Don, of course, is glued to one of those never ending games that go nowhere, interspersed with watching cars drive in a loop endlessly… there’s a theme there, but I get mocked for watching reruns of The Simpsons! I had difficulty sleeping last night, I don’t know why exactly.  I was tired, my eyes didn’t want to stay open, ...

It’s so warm, and it’s just the beginning of July… it will get warmer over the next couple of weeks and the forecast has some hot days in store, it seems.  Last night we had a massive thunderstorm with a huge downpour which did a great job of washing out some of Bluesfest (I can hear the music from here, although it’s admittedly not very clear.)  Jerry is a tiny fur-covered furnace, who drinks lots of water then comes to pant on my lap before throwing his ball for me.  He was just running around making me feel warm and tired before flopping down on the ground.  Don has been putting together his new fan, recently delivered from Amazon after several delays, and refusing all offers of help.  I thought I’d share this little gem of wisdom that was cluttering my messages last night from my family punster… I had difficulty falling asleep last night; partly because it was warm, mostly because I couldn’t find a comfortable spot.  I’ve lost so much weight that my bon...

Another lovely sunny day, warm and meeting all the criteria for summer!  Bit of a breeze to reduce the heat, fairly low humidity and deep blue skies!  Another shot from yesterday’s air show, just because 😏 The little dog thought that the heat was a bit much to stay out too long, and has been drinking lots of water between throwing his ball at us and trying to steal cherries from me!  (He’s not getting any.) Don is in fairly good shape today, although he complained about the heat.  It’s one of those days where it’s fine for him to do a few light things, but he’ll be overwhelmed if he tries to do too much. So… I had my follow up appointment with my doctor today.  This is my first since I got out of hospital, so we checked my blood (definitely improved over my last visit!) and my weight (😡 down another 2lbs in under a week!) and my vitals (all within normal range) so mostly good news.  We will be resuming chemotherapy next week, and aiming for me to be able ...

I’d be a multiple gold medal Olympic winner at that… really the only medals I’m likely to win (except for the one I have for tug o’war from way back)  Another overcast day, with some sprinkles, and definitely warmer than the last few days.  Jerry is a happy little boy playing with his ball.  He got a new king sized pillow for his bed, and he’s protecting it diligently.  He’s put it by the sofa so Don has to be careful when he gets up to avoid stepping on it! 😂 Don spent some time watching the draft — which is, to me, another boring event.  I’m really not sports minded at all! I slept a lot better last night than the last two, so much so, in fact, that I was disoriented when the sun hit my eye at 6:30am and didn’t know where I was.  I just moved my pillow to block the sun and went back to sleep.  My appetite is not all that great today, so I’ve been drinking Ensure again. My helper was here today and helped pack away some groceries.  I ordered a c...

🎼🎶 I love a rainy night, such a beautiful sight 🎶. Today we had lovely, crop-soaking rain, which will be great for the corn, strawberries, raspberries, apples and all the other summer deliciousness that’s growing and ripening!  There were several moments when the rain came blowing in the window, but not for long.  So cool and refreshing; although I’m probably in the minority for enjoying that as it is the Canada Day long weekend and people would be hoping to be out basking in the summer sun.  Jerry amused me this morning.  I threw him a brushing treat this morning (he likes to chase them before eating) and it slid under my chair.  He contorted himself into all kinds of shapes to try to get it out, until I was able to recline a bit and he dove under and rescued it, looking so incredibly proud of himself!  He got many cuddles and praises for being a clever, persistent puppy.  Don is glued to that endless game where his team is about to be eliminated f...

Another lovely day where it was cool and comfortable with a lot of sunshine, and a few clouds with some strong, cool breezes.  People are already complaining that “summer isn’t here yet” and to them I say “quit whining.  You’ll be griping soon enough about week-long heatwaves and not being able to go out because of poor air quality.  Enjoy the moment!”  Some humans, I tell you!  Jerry just got up off my lap after a 2-hour nap (I was watching some Star Trek Strange New Worlds  so I was sitting in my chair) and complained that there were no snacks!  I wasn’t snacking on anything — although I probably should spend every awake moment eating something small.  Like pastry… Don was fast asleep during my TV watching, which was good, since he likes to interrupt my shows with irrelevant questions just to break my concentration.  He says it’s as a result of me talking during sports broadcasts (in fairness, those go on all day long, and he’s not missing ...

Here’s a silly joke for your amusement (or as my uncle said, “Ugh”) I thought it was worth a grin.  It was a lovely day today, comfortable, breezy and not too humid.  We were watching a flyover from the Canadian Air Force’s Snowbirds and the Italian Air Force; sadly I didn’t get photos, and I must grumble at the addition of the new high rises on the next block which cut off a chunk of my view towards Parliament Hill.  Jerry has been playing with his ball and throwing it at me all afternoon.  Don is down, but unsurprised at the results of last night’s game, and I was sufficiently disinterested that I’d gone to bed before it started! I’m feeling tired today, with some pain… that  I attribute to radiation side effects as it’s in the area they treated.  I slept a lot, which is probably my body’s way of letting me know that it’s working on healing, but I would also appreciate it if it did that during regular sleeping hours and not during the day.  I had som...

Presented for your consideration… one tiny schnoodle who would have you believe that he’s a neglected, starved, abandoned puppy that nobody loves.  I challenge this claim, and point out that he has a full bowl of food, of water, access to treats and toys, but he’s complaining that he has to go minutes at a time without having his tummy rubbed, and therefore he’s being abused.  He has let his displeasure be known to me, and as a punishment, I’ve got a dog on my toes!  (Not really a punishment)  It’s so much cooler today that I feel comfortable; I hope it stays like this (even with the cloud cover) for a while!  Don is gearing up for ‘his’ game tonight, which may end the series or prolong it for another game.  I hope it keeps him happy! The cooler air has made it more comfortable to do things today, and I definitely slept better last night as the temperature dropped below the mid-20s.  My pharmacist called me yesterday to check up on me as she said that ...

It’s almost a week since I’ve been admitted.  I’m getting used to having meals delivered three times a day, and having housekeeping and being woken up at 4am to have my blood pressure checked and all those hospital things… Jerry was excited to see me today when I was talking to them… he came up to the screen to kiss me, and his little stump was a blur!  Don is fine; he’s taking advantage of my absence to order his favourite Chinese meals in quantities sufficient to feed a family of 6 — or provide him with 3 meals!  He’s got a decent appetite, thankfully. Late yesterday I reported to the nurse that I had a sore throat and was feeling feverish… so as a reward I was swabbed for covid (negative!) and moved into isolation.  I did develop a fever and runny nose, so I’m better kept away from other patients.  I’m now in room 6231, further along the hall from the ward; it’s private and has the same stunning view, although I can watch the MedEvac helicopters landing easil...