Learning and understanding

Another cool day today, requiring a sweater and having the windows closed.  It was very sunny, though, which helps with mood - I am trying not to think of rainy days as “bad weather” but I admit that sunny days are better for my mood, but also are worse for my energy because I struggle to stay awake rather than take naps on sunny days.  I’ve got this childlike mindset that daytime sleep means that I’m missing out (FOMO, essentially) but on rainy days I’m comfortable with taking a nap.  Jerry has been on high alert all day, I’m not sure why.  When he wasn’t running behind me or lying in wait to trip me up, he was jumping on my lap and making himself a very long dog.  I’m constantly amazed at how this little dog manages to stretch out and fill half of a queen-sized bed or fit into a soup bowl, depending on who’s available for cuddling.  Don is feeling playful as well, so I’m watching them both for sudden outbreaks of mischief!  I don’t know which is more...

It was a partly sunny, almost mild day.  Snow is expected this evening, with a lot of wet snow dumping over the weekend.  Happily, my friend came and extracted me for a late lunch at a new place, which was pretty good.  Homemade ketchup!  I had some cod cakes, which were packed with loads of fish.  Really good, although I managed to eat slightly less than half of an appetizer serving… Don got some fish and chips, and Jerry has been guarding me and sulking about being left at home when I was out.  It was a fairly nice day, until the clouds closed in… incidentally, I have a reminder on my phone to eat every few hours.  We’ll see how that goes! I had a few moments reading some of my historical recipe books today.  As you know, I have several books like that, and I do enjoy reading them.  Today’s book was “ A Century of British Cooking ” by Marguerite Patten, who was a very prolific cookbook author and “Domestic Economy” teacher who was very acti...

It’s a little cooler today than yesterday after an overnight thunderstorm.  Thankfully, we weren’t affected, although watching the news today it seems that the storm was quite destructive in areas to the west of us, leaving destroyed homes, downed trees and people without power.  I see these storms, which are powerful and destructive, as evidence of climate change, although I know that there are people who argue that “the climate changed before humans, so there’s no reason to believe that humans have changed the climate.”   None so blind as who will not see.  #offsoapbox 😉. I’m negotiating with Jerry to be allowed to type this; he’s of the view that he needs to be petted or at least touching a person pretty much full time.  Don is currently cooking some beef for his supper, and the tiny monster is letting me know that he’s a neglected and starving puppy who needs petting. So after having a wonderful time with historical recipes (which I’m still enjoying, thanks...

 Here is the little mooch trying to mooch part of breakfast this morning.  He’s been jumping like a little springbok and scrabbling to chase his ball and generally being hyperactive this afternoon, wanting to play.  I think that spring is getting to him, and I’m distressed that I can’t take him for a long walk.  The main reason is my back and my lack of strength — I won’t talk about it too much, as I find it frustrating and I don’t want to become more of a bore about it — and the lesser reason is the second “protest” in Ottawa where I’m in the middle of a lockdown zone because of motorcyclists who don’t know what they want.  Don said that he didn’t sleep particularly well last night, so he was napping today.  Baseball is on now, though, so… 😆  I have a confession to make, and I may have to surrender my “I love food” card.  Here it is… I don’t like a number of apparently luxury foods.  I don’t like truffles, for instance.  The smell, to ...

It was another rainy day today where Jerry couldn’t be allowed out to romp in the mud.  For myself, my back was in agony such that breathing was a definite challenge.  I will be heading to bed soon, as I wait for the meds to take effect.  That is not my idea of fun, but I’ll manage.  Jerry is lying on the sofa and eyeing me every few minutes looking for an excuse to jump on my lap.  Don is relaxing on the sofa, and they’re both happy right now. I’m thinking more about Holy Week and the events that happened then.  But I was thinking about a number of things.  It’s clear that Judas’ departure precipitated a series of events, and also that Jesus knew what was happening.  He said to Judas, “What you are going to do, do quickly.”  So he obviously knew what was being considered.  Does that mean that he went along with the whole idea?  Does it mean that He had a hand in it? That seems wrong on several levels, but if He aided Judas, then…...

You'll have noticed that I sent out my update quite late this morning, and that's entirely due to my having had a lovely sleep! I I took almost an hour to fall asleep, but once I did, I was out like a wet candle! Jerry was lying across my feet until I moved a bit, and he crawled up alongside me and moved my hand to pet his tummy. We lay there for a while, then I had to get up. He waited until I was settled in my chair and jumped into my lap where he spent a cozy couple of hours. He's now curled in a ball next to my feet. Spoiled puppy! I rested again today, because I had very limited energy. However, because I woke up so late, the day seemed to just slip past. I didn't do a lot, but I feel better than when I woke up this  morning. I'm not crazy about missing so much time, but I'm so low on energy that taking these breaks  are beneficial. I was craving Thai basil, garlic and chili stir fry for a couple of weeks now. I'd pull up menus for various places, plann...

Today I woke myself up at 8:30 instead of 11:15. It meant that I needed to be awake earlier than I had been all week. It was a little difficult, but I stayed in an upright position for a few hours. However, I did have serious difficulty staying awake. My challenge was with my ability to keep my eyes open. It's quite difficult. Even worse now that they are playing baseball (more!) and football (snooze!) I'll wait for a bit until I hear some snores, and change the channel... Shh! Don't tell Don! Jerry has been in a cuddling mood all day. It's good, since he's not hyper-active, but it does mean that he wants available lap space that's open for napping. It's all good and fun! But I probably will need a few hours of empty VCR tape to record his cuteness... He's a dreadful ham, although he likes to ignore the camera and will refuse to do anything if he knows that he's being recorded. My eldest goddaughter describes him as "using all his ear muscles to...

I was able to eat some grapes (not at all sour LOL) and I made a small bowl of fried rice, so that was good; and half of a sausage. It's annoying how quickly I get full! Most of the day I was a dog bed, and I was not allowed to leave my chair! Very bossy supervisor I have there! He tells on me, too.- I'll have to try other ways to escape the dictator's tiny furry paw! He's so bossy!  I'm sitting in my chair, with a small, black dog on my feet. He's been exceptionally snuggly since I got back from my doctor's appointment yesterday. He won't give me much space and as soon as I sit, he jumps on my lap. I had to hide in the bedroom to be able to call my dad today because when I was on the phone earlier with my aunt, he was trying to knock the phone out of my hand. He was letting me know that I should pay him more attention. He's a tiny attention glutton who thinks that he's the boss of the house! And he might have a point there... So I'm sure tha...

Another note to self: when you do dumb things, recovery is not quick. Even if you think that you were following all the rehabilitation rules, it does not go away quickly. Trying to pass along the blame to my therapist for the pain is of limited value as my interaction is only for an hour and a bit after review and revising my exercises and my progress. I estimate that I'd be closer to "normal" after tomorrow. At least, I hope so! At my last nurse's visit, she muttered that my pulse and blood pressure were difficult to identify. For some reason, she couldn't detect my heart rate, and therefore readings were difficult to obtain.  It got more entertaining when she tried using the automatic reader and that also had problems reading my pressure. It took about 3 tries before it settled, leaving me wondering if I had suddenly lost my heart-not in San Francisco, as I've never been there.- but somewhere near here... LOL I think that I've narrowed down my prospectiv...

  I had 7 hours of sleep last night. That's a full night's sleep! It was wonderful. I fell asleep shortly after 00:30, and didn't wake up until 7:45am. Today, although I had a few moments of dozing off, I was alert for most of the day. Couple more good things today; I had an appointment with my endocrinologist, and we'll be adjusting my insulin dose down to compensate for me being weaned off the steroids. So there is a plan for me to get my dose back to where it was pre-surgery. Then, too, Don was able to sleep well last night, and his pain levels are also down. Generally happy all around Chez Crosby today. Here is Jerry today, protesting my crocheting. A friend had sent me a box of yarn -lovely, soft baby colours- but some were snarled into an impressive yarn "barf" so I've been spending some time detangling and winding the yarn into a ball (reusing a toilet paper roll-very handy!) Jerry disapproved (of course) and inserted himself on my lap to disrupt th...

Ouch. Last night I slept in an awkward position-I'm blaming Jerry-and this morning I woke up.in a LOT of pain.  The pain is now starting to subside, but it's still throbbing. I'm hoping that it will improve  before I go to bed later and that it's gone completely by the morning.  Anyway, I had to be slow and careful today, just because my back was so tender! Today is Emancipation Day- the day that the Slave Trade ended in the then-British Empire in 1834. It's been a holiday in Trinidad & Tobago for most of my life, and there were celebrations to mark this milestone.  As I had noted in an earlier blog post . Emancipation celebrations were primarily for beach days or birthday activities for my dad. It was later on that the import of the day had an impact on me. mainly from my involvement with a community group. My move to Canada awoke an activist spirit in me that I was unaware existed before. I'd like to pretend that I was "woke" from early on, but I...

I confess to binging on Nutella. I haven't had any for years, then I yielded to temptation and got a bottle, and I've been hav'ing a slice of Nutella-on-toast every day for the past week or so. I'd forgotten that it was decadent and delicious! I'm not a fan of peanut butter - in fact, I only have peanut butter in a peanut punch or in a satay sauce - but Nutella is different.  I'm not one of those people who has "guilty" pleasures or talks about having food "without the guilt." I enjoy my food, and I savour it. So I'll have ice- cream and revel in its rich, creamy texture. I'll indulge in cheesecake; linger over chocolate tortes and generally luxuriate in rich desserts if that's what I'm doing. I don't choose to do "low fat, low-carb, low-cal" foods. Neither do I opt for much packaged foods, nor do I go for organic, free-range, etc. stuff so I'm admitting, freely, that I've been indulging in chocolate-haze...

I'm definitely sleep-deprived. It's not surprising, and not news, but it is both annoying and inconvenient! Today, though, I was able to get 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep this afternoon. So lovely. I'm feeling better again, and hoping for more good sleep tonight. It seems greedy, but honestly, 7 hours a night is supposed to be the average for people my age (really, for any adult/teen/child...) so I'll work on getting back up to closer to the average.  I’ve noticed that I’m still far too easily inclined to just fall asleep without warning (known as microsleep) which is unsafe at the least. Jerry, who is a bossy little monster, has parked himself on my lap and is not letting me have much space -LOL. He's been scratching at me and butting me to end up on my lap. He's also been trying to mooch my chocolate cookies, which is not happening. Every so often he smuggles in for a hug and is happy to have me pet his tummy. I had a very busy hour browsing the library's...

Previous  My back continues to ache and I'm convinced that I've pulled a muscle because of how the pain radiates. But I managed a walk around the block with the tiny dictator, who was completely overjoyed to go out and bark at everything. He only agreed to come back in because it was hot and he was thirsty. I'm sure that otherwise I'd probably still be out trying to negotiate his re-entry into the building! He spent most of the rest of the afternoon snuggled up against me, patting my tummy and being cuddled. Last entry, I talked about my integration of non-Christian beliefs into my personal credo. I remember, with surprising clarity, my conversation with our seminarian, on the question of religious beliefs. I said that all religions taught the same core thing. It was largely immaterial, I said, whether you espoused a form of Christianity or something else-it all boiled down to which form of belief you chose, and I could mix and match as I saw fit. He pointed out that if...

I'm having one of those days, when my shoulder aches a LOT  and I feel it radiating down my back and shoulder. I know it's from that awkward movement a couple of days ago, when I moved suddenly and felt pain blazing across my back. I'm beyond annoyed with it. Plus it's humid, so breathing is a bit challenging.     My cooking plants are starting to grow. I'd like to pretend that I'm growing them, but Helga sent me seeds for pimentos and chado beni. Don planted them while I was in hospital, and they are starting to grow. It will be a great moment when I can pick my peppers and make my own green seasoning! I can sometimes find ingredients at the Chinese grocery or if I make it to a Caribbean supermarket, but it's great  to have a supply of fresh herbs to supplement when I have in my pantry.   I'm still not able  to go out as I'd like and I've been restricted to being home and getting deliveries to supplement my meals- but I'm not thrilled with t...

Six hours of uninterrupted sleep! Absolutely marvellous. Then today my body reminded me that 6 hours doesn't erase weeks of sleep deprivation, so I have been dozing on and off all day. I imagine that it will be a few days before I get to a level of "normal-ish" sleep. But I'm looking forward to it. My nerd side is also enjoying the challenge of using spreadsheets on the iPad, since there's no mouse and restricted keyboard use. The Apple Pencil is helpful, but there's still a learning curve. It's fun, though, to have this as a goal. I'm trying to understand the thinking of those who are using this pandemic to leverage political gain at the expense of innocent lives. It's really tragic, watching how people were misled and encouraged into dangerous behaviour. I read that some individuals argued that the restrictions were stricter and more unfair on young adults because they deserve to be out on weekends and denying them time at pubs is unfair.. Oh, an...

Today was another painful day.  I had a lot of difficulty falling asleep-I was awake until 3am, then I was awake again at 5am. The result of course, was that I was drowsing off in the middle of the day, and falling asleep in my chair. Not the most comfortable way to nap!  Although, as my dad pointed out-if you can sleep in a position, then it's at least temporarily comfortable, so… I need to remember that the surgery itself was very successful. I'm able to walk again, and I was at real risk of being paralyzed if I did nothing.  The challenge is really that I now have a torn tendon, which is dreadfully painful so it's a wholly different issue. It would be better if I did not have that issue but it's one of those things, I guess. Let's be honest-I'm frustrated with the level of pain I've been dealing with this week. It feels like all I've been talking about is the hurt in my back, and I'm fed up with it. Between that and my insomnia, I feel like a mise...

Should I start singing the praises of sleep again?  I had several good naps again today, then decided that perhaps a conversation with my doctor was in order, since I found that I was sleeping from the time I took my meds.  He agreed with me, and we’ve reduced the dose of one of my pain meds.  The first change, effected tonight, already has me feeling more alert, so I think it’s a win.  Once more, I strongly recommend keeping lines of communication open with your medical team, because they are primarily concerned with ensuring that your health and well-being are maintained!  I feel it necessary to point out that that trusting and following the advice of your team is essential in promoting your health and recovery.  I don’t understand the people who go to the doctor, obtain medicine but refuse to take it because “Dr. Google” says something else!  I met someone who told their doctor that they were refusing to take prescribed medication because they saw t...

  I would so  love a glass of wine!  But that’s still going to have to wait.  I explained to my (new) set of doctors that my birthday is in exactly 2 weeks and apart from me being back at home, I will be hosting the annual culling of the lobsters and I will be having a glass of good wine. They think that I’m joking, but this is one of my serious goals.  The annual lobster dinner was already postponed last year because of Covid, so the little leggy buggers got away for a year, but that’s not on the cards for this year.  There will need to be a dinner; even if we arrange to have the lobsters shipped to home and we Zoom the meal!  I know that there’s already champagne chilling waiting for me to get home! Here’s the view from my bed.  I have a window!!  And a tree!!  Those things make me happy as you know, and when I arrived here this afternoon my soul felt comforted.  As you can see, there’s a lot of window space, and there are 4 of us...