Learning and understanding

It was -10 today.  MINUS.  Below zero!  I can’t say that it’s a huge surprise, as every year at this time we have a bit of a snowstorm, but today was beautifully sunny, even if frigid and blustery!  I’m not putting so much as a nose outdoors until it warms back up above freezing, thanks for asking!  Jerry is guarding my feet right now, after making an unreasonable amount of noise because he heard my neighbour drop off the paper at my door.  I think he’s tired out from that… Don’s doing pretty well, and his appetite makes me envious since he managed to eat a double-stuffed foot long sub and then went looking for dessert.  I ate half of a 6” sub and was stuffed.  What does that tell you?  (That clearly, my sandwich wasn’t as good as his.  Or something like that.) I had an early morning visitor; my lay minister arrived after early Mass, so I dragged myself out of bed for 8am, and after he left, I jumped back into bed and slept for another 2...

Another summer’s day, complete with all the heat and humidity that it can amass!  The rain last night was lovely; the air felt so cool and fresh after!  But then this morning, it was like breathing in a plastic bag… just suffocating!  It’s tiring when it does that, and I then don’t have a lot of motivation to do stuff.  My “things to do” list is just growing at a distressing rate!  Jerry wanted to play last night long  after we went to bed, and tried to bury himself under me to sleep.  That’s quite uncomfortable, so I kept moving him, and he just came crawling back… finally he climbed onto my tummy, flipped on his back, and moved my hand to his tummy.  He was finally happy, I wasn’t, but the sleeping dog wins any argument about placement!  Don was having a busy day repairing his printer, and then shamefacedly confessed that he’d been trying to put the colour cartridge in the slot for the black ink… it took a while before it clicked that he wa...

Once more, a shot from the islands, where I am not.  I’d like to be soaking in that at the moment, it would certainly be cooler than the weather in Ottawa today — it’s 32C now.  We didn’t sleep too well last night because of overnight construction right in front of our building, from 9pm to 5am, and they expect it to last all week long.  They are doing sewer repairs using a technique that doesn’t require drilling (thank goodness) but it’s certainly disrupting sleep — although I’m glad I’m not on one of the lower floors!  The noise must have been dreadful there if it was so bad up here!  Jerry was not a fan, and tried to hide under me for most of the night, so that added to not being able to sleep last night.  I made up a couple of hours this afternoon, which helped.  Jerry seems to be happy that his coat is clipped; he was so full of energy all day wanting to play and throwing his toys around (he knows which one he wants, so we have to throw that one a...

Today would have been my 24th work anniversary as a public servant.  It’s one of the dates that has stuck in my mind.  I remember that there was a wet snowfall that morning, and I went to the office for the first time where I knew exactly 3 people in the city.  Life is very different now, in which I’ve made my home here and have a large circle of friends — plus an awesome medical team.  I’m a little tired today, no discernible rationale, and I’ll be heading in for an early night.  Jerry is in one of his moods, where he’s pretending to eat at me (he does this thing where he takes a mouthful of his dry food, walks over to me and chews it loudly, stares at me for a moment, then gets the next mouthful.)  Don had a much better night last night, and got a good sleep.  That’s a relief to me. I’ve booked my first trip, where I’ll be heading out of town over Easter.  That took all of 10 minutes by phone, and the agent found me a 20% discount and discovered...

So today was a little less than great.  When I took the little dictator out for his morning stroll, he was very excited to meet a puppy of a large breed — he was about 4 times Jerry’s size — and the two of them were leaping around tangling their leashes.  In the middle of their excitement Jerry tangled himself around my legs and the other dog jumped on me simultaneously and I went over like a bowling pin… Thankfully she helped me back up and stopped traffic before the oncoming car ran over me.  I limped across the street, waited for Jerry and then limped back home.  I slept for several hours this afternoon and I feel better.  Don is more active this afternoon, although he complained that he had trouble sleeping last night.  Jerry has been doing his imitation of a jackrabbit on speed, bouncing off of the chairs and coffee table, so he’s in good spirits.  Our evening walk was shorter because my leg was aching… I told Don that we both can’t be limping and...

This is easily one of the cutest photos on my roll… One little puppy all snuggled in and holding my hand!  He’s ready for his mid-morning snuggle and tummy massage 😊. He spent almost the whole morning cuddled against me, hugging my hand and just being the most affectionate that I’ve ever seen him.  He’s adorable.  Don is feeling a little better today, and looks more alert than he did the last few days, which is excellent.  I’m happy about that; I never like it when he’s not feeling good, or when he’s pale and tired a lot.  I also like it when his appetite is healthy, so that’s another good thing.  The puppy is adorable, isn’t he? I was listening to someone complain about “ cancel culture” and how it’s being abused by snowflakes, whiners and all those useless types.  Let’s get one thing out of the way quickly.  Sometimes people do  abuse the system and do all kinds of things to squeeze money out of people.  I have ZERO respect for people...

I’m going to have to start paying royalties for the floral photos… they are so utterly beautiful and they make me feel happy.  So nice!  OK, so the nurse has been here for 2 days, where he was able to just hook me up to the PICC line and I was able to disconnect it easily after it finished.  We chatted about the challenges of obtaining medical equipment, since I don’t have the handy little pump that automatically controls the rate of flow, and I rely on gravity, and the ability of my nurse to calculate how long (and how high) to hang the bag so it flows over 4-ish hours.  (We’re actually averaging 6, but no complaints)  Jerry does not approve at all, not in the slightest of me being attached to a pole, as he can’t just bounce on my lap and cuddle to his tiny heart’s content!  Don has begun using his cane in the house as his feet are painful.I’m working hard  to not nag him about going to a doctor, because he’ll just get stubborn.  No further comme...

Generally positive news today. I was able to eat a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast; some rice, spinach, and chicken for lunch and tea and toast for supper. I consider that a win. I'm not going to worry about the portion sizes, as that is likely to cause stress! I'm not sure why I'm feeling so sleepy today. I slept well last night, I napped after I woke up and took my meds, so I should be rested, but I feel so sleepy! Jerry has again occupied my lap today, so my crocheting is behind as crochet does not combine well with small dictatorial lap dog! Today was flooded with reminders that it's the 20th anniversary of 9/11. It's surprising to me that it's already 20 years! I remember, as does everyone else who experienced the day, what happened.. It was very traumatic on many levels. I was working for Citizenship & Immigration Canada, and there was a strike underway. I remember hearing about the first plane hitting the tower just as I was preparing to leave for work....

Another note to self: when you do dumb things, recovery is not quick. Even if you think that you were following all the rehabilitation rules, it does not go away quickly. Trying to pass along the blame to my therapist for the pain is of limited value as my interaction is only for an hour and a bit after review and revising my exercises and my progress. I estimate that I'd be closer to "normal" after tomorrow. At least, I hope so! At my last nurse's visit, she muttered that my pulse and blood pressure were difficult to identify. For some reason, she couldn't detect my heart rate, and therefore readings were difficult to obtain.  It got more entertaining when she tried using the automatic reader and that also had problems reading my pressure. It took about 3 tries before it settled, leaving me wondering if I had suddenly lost my heart-not in San Francisco, as I've never been there.- but somewhere near here... LOL I think that I've narrowed down my prospectiv...

Thou shalt listen, mark, inwardly digest and obey all instructions given by thine medical team. Patient, thou knowest nothing. and thou art not God. Therefore, when thou hast an idea, and it conflicts with the detailed, specific instructions provided by the demi-god who is the medical professional, thine idea will be put on ye heap of rubbish, there to be incinerated, and thou shalt obey. Else thou wilt be deservedly suffering, and shalt get no  sympathy. Because fools deserve their misery!   I thought that I knew better than my team, and chose to do stuff that's resulted in me being in agony again today. I am, rightly. paying for it, and now I'm done with my (scheduled) tests today, I returned home and crawled into bed and cursed my stubbornness and gross stupidity. As an aside, it was very amusing at the CT are. I had started writing some of this while waiting, and the RN passed by and saw me. She was so excited that she called the technician, the other nurse and the poster ...

My sleep was better last night, and I was able to relax more, so the pain in my back is improved. Joy and rejoicing! I again slept a lot today, which I am sure is not what my assorted medics would prefer, but my body said that's what it needed, so there we are! The tiny dictator wanted to communicate that he is not happy with the neglect that he’s been getting.  Imagine that he had to watch me eat Nutella on toast and he got precisely none?  He thinks that is beyond unacceptable and I should get a severe talking to for daring to eat something that can’t be shared with tiny monsters!  (Please note that he was HAND FED pieces of a half a hot dog and got treats. Plus he had over an hour of petting and snuggling. And I still got that look!) I've been gradually going through my freezer and eating my way through cooked and frozen items. I had some minced chicken that was intended for pasteles, and I used that to make chicken arepas (empanadas) last night. They will do for meal...

Ouch. Last night I slept in an awkward position-I'm blaming Jerry-and this morning I woke up.in a LOT of pain.  The pain is now starting to subside, but it's still throbbing. I'm hoping that it will improve  before I go to bed later and that it's gone completely by the morning.  Anyway, I had to be slow and careful today, just because my back was so tender! Today is Emancipation Day- the day that the Slave Trade ended in the then-British Empire in 1834. It's been a holiday in Trinidad & Tobago for most of my life, and there were celebrations to mark this milestone.  As I had noted in an earlier blog post . Emancipation celebrations were primarily for beach days or birthday activities for my dad. It was later on that the import of the day had an impact on me. mainly from my involvement with a community group. My move to Canada awoke an activist spirit in me that I was unaware existed before. I'd like to pretend that I was "woke" from early on, but I...

 I had an early doctor's appointment today, so my insomnia worked in my favour. I was awake for 5:30, so had loads of time to wake up and eat breakfast before leaving for the hospital. It was a lovely, wet day, where I got sprinkled going into the hospital screening area.  I like it when it’s that gentle soaking rain like we had this morning.  It just encourages curling up under a blanket and being cozy.   How do you like the tiny photo bomber?  He decided that losing his lap privileges was worth being in the frame of every photo I took this morning… this was the picture that best captured his wicked plot of taking command of everything! My doctor is pleased with my general progress. He had last seen me about 3 weeks ago, and today I was able to walk in without needing a wheelchair, and I could sit up for my appointment. Both of these are advancements over the last one, where I had to lie down because of my back pain. We agreed that I'm probably likely to feel f...

Today was another painful day.  I had a lot of difficulty falling asleep-I was awake until 3am, then I was awake again at 5am. The result of course, was that I was drowsing off in the middle of the day, and falling asleep in my chair. Not the most comfortable way to nap!  Although, as my dad pointed out-if you can sleep in a position, then it's at least temporarily comfortable, so… I need to remember that the surgery itself was very successful. I'm able to walk again, and I was at real risk of being paralyzed if I did nothing.  The challenge is really that I now have a torn tendon, which is dreadfully painful so it's a wholly different issue. It would be better if I did not have that issue but it's one of those things, I guess. Let's be honest-I'm frustrated with the level of pain I've been dealing with this week. It feels like all I've been talking about is the hurt in my back, and I'm fed up with it. Between that and my insomnia, I feel like a mise...

  I just got my birthday present from Don- an Apple Pencil which I'm testing out.  Don was pleasantly surprised to know what he got for me, but is happy with the purchase 🤣🤣 So far I like it! It writes like a regular pen, and translates to typed text.. What a time to use technology! All the things I dreamed  of as a kid are coming to pass! It’s just fun! The coolest part is that each generation of technology gives rise to even more, so that it accelerates and the technology passes into oblivion quickly. The next version might be to allow me to think what I want and have it appear on screen 😆 The downside is that it becomes expensive  to keep up. The question then becomes how much do I want to spend keeping up with technology? The answer for  me is that I prefer to wait for mid-range tech, not for cutting-edge, but because mid-range is:  likely to be more affordable,  more sustainable and likely to stick around and more easily integrated into my...

The temperature dropped down to normal today.  It was beautiful, and I could breathe. That was wonderful and comfortable where we didn’t need the air conditioner after several days.  Perfection.  Frankly, having a day when the humidity was less than 100% was amazing and I approve wholeheartedly.  The dog spent his morning licking me, so I’m now worried that he’s planning to eat me and he’s just testing to see how much seasoning I need!  (The blanket was a gift from my lovely cousin, and we absolutely love it!  It’s super pretty, warm and cozy.  I’ve been using it almost constantly.)  But yes, dog, licking me.  I’m concerned that I’m on the menu for the apocalypse… I was trying to avoid this discussion.  I really was.  But it’s not going away, and pretending that it will is just hurting me.  For the past few years there has been increasing attention paid to anti-racist activities, and the effect that they are having on the natio...

I went to the butterfly garden today as my outing   Thar was my grand gesture, as I’m technically not allowed off the floor, never mind outdoors on a Saturday when most of the therapists are off duty.  My afternoon session was just a loop on the floor, far less fun than being able to go out exploring.  I’ve been trying to get these to work all afternoon with limited success, but maybe it’ll allow me to use two different angles.   The flowers are all designed to attract pollinators, primarily butterflies 🦋 but also bees and wasps  it will take a long time before they are back in their numbers but it’s definitely worth adding flowers of all types to attract pollinators. The orange ribbons are to honour the memories of the  215 children  found in the BC residential school.  I have no words for this, and I’m beyond horrified that this happened.  I admit that I don’t know much about the specific details of what happened at residential schools, no...

 I apologize in advance. This post is likely to be inflammatory, but I think that I need to write it. It is not intended to hurt anyone, but it is based on reality and the people involved will recognize themselves. I won’t identify anyone, I’m not pointing fingers, and this ultimately comes from love and concern. I’m happy to discuss the issues that I raise, but not the individuals.   St. Joseph Youth Group c. 1983  This is a photo of my church youth group.  We met originally during preparation for the sacrament of Confirmation in 1982/83. Classes were for 2 years on Saturday mornings, and our cohort became quite close. Our collective parents found themselves as hosts to a horde of teenagers regularly- almost never one or two! After we were confirmed, we went on to form a youth group, which remained quite active until we began to drift into adulthood and life continued.  The bonds are still there, although obviously not exactly the same. But this picture led to ...