Learning and understanding

It rained all day yesterday  and for a good part of today off and on.  Not as much as yesterday, which was lovely weather for blankets, warm drinks and good books.  Jerry seems to think that I’m his personal jungle gym, and has been climbing on me all afternoon, which would be fine except that his claws are remarkably sharp (they’re not long) and he puts his full weight behind his jumps… I try explaining to him that I’m not a trampoline and to please not jump on me, but he just continues… I’m bruised from his clambering, and he just curls up in my lap and takes a nap… Don is again finding sports to watch, and since the Olympics start soon there will be 24-hour sports, interrupted only by politics (I’ve tuned out, it’s just too nasty and pointless.) Although he’ll watch “news” all day every day if I didn’t interrupt with other shows. I didn’t sleep well last night because my mind was just turning over and over the issue with the ironically named care agency.  I involv...

It was fairly mild today, I was able to have the window open briefly! Nice to have some fresh air.  It’s bizarre that I can’t stay warm — how, may I ask, with no intention of being rude, do very tiny people stay warm?  I’ve lost all of my padding, and I have bones jabbing me in areas where there never were any before!  It’s so strange to be told, “well, those are your hip bones” (really?  I have those?  Where were they?) and “yeah, that’s your spine, tailbone and so on” Where did they come from, and is it possible for them to be less jabbing and sore?  Jerry doesn’t seem to mind the appearance of hip bones, as long as my lap and belly are still available to be used as either a cushion or trampoline, depending on his mood.  He was throwing his chew toy around, and how I regret buying him those ones!  They’re hard, heavy and he drops them on my toes!  I’m back in search of something softer for him to shred… I had to poke Don a couple of times t...

I was half joking with a friend today that I spend half of summer grumbling about the heat, and half of winter grumbling about the cold.  She said, well, you’re consistent! And I asked, you mean I’m consistent at complaining?  I was naughty enough to enjoy watching her trying to backpedal… It’s the dog days, although the dog doesn’t approve of this kind of weather where his little feet get overheated on the sidewalk — he’s also stubborn enough to refuse to wear boots of any kind!  I’ll get one on, and he’ll have it off before I even get the second one on!  He’s been evicted from my lap a few times today, because I was trying to read and he would jump up and push my book or iPad out of my hand, stretch out, stick his little arms up and just take up space.  He’s adorable and such a sweetheart but he just radiates HOT!  Don found an absolutely dreadful thriller that he insisted that I watch with him… except that he fell asleep about 30 minutes in, but would wa...

These crack-of-dawn doctor’s appointments are hard on the system!  I could, I know, request a later time, but apart from the trauma of getting up early and into the hospital while the staff are still signing in and wiping sleep from their eyes (I exaggerate.  They’re all awake and cheerful) it means that the rest of the day is mine, and I can do other things and be “productive” for about 20 minutes before my back spasms and sends me for a time out!  A middle of the day appointment often means delays in getting in, snarled traffic, various other inconveniences and a broken day, so I’d rather get it done and then have my time to myself.  Although my next scan is set for about 7pm in a couple of weeks, so I’ll have to prepare myself for that.  (Thankfully it’s not one where I have to fast in advance, so that’s a relief!). We’ve been able to reduce some of my medication, and that’s a happy thing, as I’m really not enthusiastic about swallowing a double handful of pi...

What a beautiful spring day today was! It was warm enough to need just a sweater, no need for a coat.  Jerry had a great time running around, except that he doesn’t like getting his paws wet, and the ground is more mud than grass still.  So he jumped back into the car with wet, muddy feet, and I’m very thankful that I was wearing an old pair of track pants which will be tossed out after this week.  The car seat, though… well, it will need a good brushing when it dries off.  Don is doing a little better, although he has these moments when his knee gives him a problem, but hopefully that won’t last too long.  I wish that I had more energy. Today was one of those days where a long, long walk is a perfect thing to do.  I’d have loved to walk to Parliament Hill, down to the river, and looped back up.  Jerry would have completely enjoyed that, what with all the extra hills to run up and down and maybe chasing a rabbit or a chipmunk tossed in.   Sigh. ...

 . Sigh. It's annoying, but I seem to have reverted to my nights of broken sleep. I've been waking up after a half-hour's nap, and then I'll pass out for a while. Most tiring-no pun intended! My appetite is again poor, and I had 2- 3 bites of toast and I'm full. Very imitating. I'll try going in early tonight in hopes of adding a couple of hours. This afternoon I felt groggy and drowsy. which was draining. I had an in-person appointment with my oncologist this afternoon for the first time in almost 2 years. His nurse has decided to retire; I knew that she was planning that for some time, and had reduced her hours so she worked 7 days in 16. . I'll miss her- we had sometimes spoken by phone in the last 2 years. It's still a bit of a shock, though. I was fine with doing my sessions by phone or video chat, but in person was great. The appointment was fine, and slightly longer than usual, because we were discussing treatment options and were able to speed th...

I think there I've been overworking my back and shoulder, since my right shoulder is now painful. Most annoying, because it limits my movement even further! Add to that the heat and humidity of an otherwise beautiful summer day, and I'm feeling a little miserable. I'll overcome it before I call my dad this evening, because he's got this uncanny ability to know when I'm feeling "off" so I have to ensure that things are fine before I call. Another Olympic year rolls to a close. I've maintained my lifelong habit of not paying attention to the games. This year had been one that I was likely to watch, since my friend's son had been a potential contender in water polo. Before the games were cancelled last year, we had been planning to travel to Tokyo to watch Team Canada play... and they were close to  qualification. This year, Covid ran rampant and with everything else, they didn't qualify, so… my reason for watching the Games also didn't make i...

  I had a follow-up appointment with one of my doctors this week. It's that time of year when doctors have residents meet with patients first, then come in to finalize treatment plans. I have to admit that I'm somewhat spoiled, and I really prefer to see my doctor and not a substitute, no matter how enthusiastic or learned they are. Mostly because I have to review my medical history-and my 23 medications- and they (subconsciously) remind me that I'm actually really sick, no matter how healthy I look or pretend to be! On a hot day like today, breathing is challenging. It's frustrating because I have to stop in the middle of doing things just to catch my breath..Doing what? You ask. Well, my friend and former colleague stopped by and dropped off a baker's dozen of corn! Farm fresh and delicious! So I cooked some last night, and today I shucked the rest and put them on to boil. The corn is lovely, fresh and very sweet. Delicious! We're very happy with them Summer i...

Ouch. Last night I slept in an awkward position-I'm blaming Jerry-and this morning I woke up.in a LOT of pain.  The pain is now starting to subside, but it's still throbbing. I'm hoping that it will improve  before I go to bed later and that it's gone completely by the morning.  Anyway, I had to be slow and careful today, just because my back was so tender! Today is Emancipation Day- the day that the Slave Trade ended in the then-British Empire in 1834. It's been a holiday in Trinidad & Tobago for most of my life, and there were celebrations to mark this milestone.  As I had noted in an earlier blog post . Emancipation celebrations were primarily for beach days or birthday activities for my dad. It was later on that the import of the day had an impact on me. mainly from my involvement with a community group. My move to Canada awoke an activist spirit in me that I was unaware existed before. I'd like to pretend that I was "woke" from early on, but I...

You’re getting a small view into my role in the home in terms of my permission levels from my tiny furry dictator.  I’m taking the opportunity to show him off while I demonstrate just my life is managed!  Last night, Jerry objected to me writing my blog, and was batting me to stop writing and pay attention to him.  I was trying to finish writing, but there was a small dog who has other plans.  He’s still not supportive of the idea, but he’ll at least give me a chance… I’m still so happy.  I woke up in my  bed, with my dog on my lap, from a deep sleep that lasted for several hours without the need for drugs.  My need to sleep is still really strong, and I’m inclined to fall asleep with minimal effort.  I’m struggling with the pressure to stay awake; it’s way easier to drift off and catch up on all the sleep that I’ve missed.  We pretty much agreed that I was sleep deprived while I was in hospital, so at the moment my body is catching up with t...

  I would so  love a glass of wine!  But that’s still going to have to wait.  I explained to my (new) set of doctors that my birthday is in exactly 2 weeks and apart from me being back at home, I will be hosting the annual culling of the lobsters and I will be having a glass of good wine. They think that I’m joking, but this is one of my serious goals.  The annual lobster dinner was already postponed last year because of Covid, so the little leggy buggers got away for a year, but that’s not on the cards for this year.  There will need to be a dinner; even if we arrange to have the lobsters shipped to home and we Zoom the meal!  I know that there’s already champagne chilling waiting for me to get home! Here’s the view from my bed.  I have a window!!  And a tree!!  Those things make me happy as you know, and when I arrived here this afternoon my soul felt comforted.  As you can see, there’s a lot of window space, and there are 4 of us...

 I spent today in bed jail, contemplating my sins and infidelities, basically looking at my pride and reminding myself that this is an instance when following instructions will make things easier.  Had I not fallen, I’d have been able to go on a short walk and perhaps start back crocheting my latest project.  Instead, I was in bed jail with all the railings pulled up and locked off.  Then every time I tried to get up, there were multiple witnesses all muttering variations of, “you may need to call for help, she fell last night…” so even people who didn’t previously know me are aware that I fell and scared my nurses, the on call staff, and so on.  Thanks very much for the lovely gifts of cupcakes, chocolates, snacks, chips and tomorrow’s lunch supplement 😊😝 and the charming local wildlife videos! (A bear cub! Snack bag Hare-crazy rabbits, and the erotic chipmunk… plus stately cats, adorable dogs, an impressive selection). I was being teased by the orderlies abo...

Thanks for playing!  I’m not surprised, but my sister Helga was able to identify all of the Sesame Street  references rapidly!  Lynne wins, with a total of 35/59 correct answers, and I’ve already sent something to her in the post.  It should arrive during the week, so I wait for her reaction! (I expect her to call me a “cheeky brat” at the very least.) I enjoy finding quotes like these, so I’m likely to continue finding inspiration from songs, or perhaps books or poetry.  We’ll see... in the next round! Although this is the summary of a few years’ blogging, so it might be a while.   Blog title Song  Artist Whole heap of zing Red red wine UB40 The essence of all As gentle as silence Catholic hymn Dreaming of bigger things Thunder Imagine Dragons  The whole year through Happy new year  Kelwyn Hutcheon O res mirabilis Panis angelicus  Catholic hymn Try to bridge the emptiness Same auld lang syne Dan Fogelberg Christmas changes too Where are...