Learning and understanding

Isn't it amazing that every year, like magic, on Dec 31 at midnight, a whole new year arrives?  It just appears! That was a throwaway remark in a comedy years ago which stuck with me. Today is, of course, Old Year's Day, when we bid farewell to one year and prepare to greet the new. It's a day when Don is glued to hockey on TV-there are seemingly unending games all afternoon, evening and night. Jerry, little darling, is alternating between cuddling up and dancing to block Don's view of the TV. He seems to know when the game is more exciting and opts to interrupt then! (No, I didn't teach him that! Of course I wouldn't weaponize the puppy) 🤪 Do you make resolutions? It seems to be a fading practice. Many people to whom I've spoken say that they don't keep them, so there's no point. Plus, they say, why wait for January? They do have a point, I admit. The majority of resolutions are things like, "lose weight, go to the gym," or "manage m

Thanks very much to my wonderful friend who got me out of the house so we had an early dinner/late lunch and lots of laughs. I feel lighter than I did for the past few days. It's good, because I don't like those dark phases that are so hard to escape. I was a dog bed for part of the night, being woken up by a paw in my face... I was then guarded closely for the day even when I was on the phone dealing with chores. Don has advised that-he's unavailable until sometime in January as there's hockey on TV. I learned years ago that there's hockey on practically year-round, so I find ways to entertain myself. Amusingly, I technically control the TV remote, but only if there's no hockey, CFL, NFL, baseball... So, about two nights a month, and mostly daytime! Looking back on this year, there are some good memories and a couple catastrophes. Let's get the bad out of the way. There was that horrible truck occupation in January and February. I'm still uneasy when I

We're in winter. No question about it. It snowed off and on all day, but the temperature hovered around freezing, so there's a lot of slush. It's also that level of chilly damp where the cold seeps into your body. Inside, wearing a cozy sweater, wrapped in a blanket and with a dog on your lap is the current behaviour. Don has a fan blowing on him, since it seems to help with his breathing, but meanwhile I feel cold. Ah, the negotiations of room temperature.. Only Jerry is neutral-he just moves from one lap to another to get as comfortable as possible! I've noticed that sometimes a topic will appear in several places in close proximity. For me, that was in the last few days the subject of grief has become prominent. A friend forwarded a podcast that talked about grief-over the death of a parent-and how coping with it is a necessary part of self-care. Another friend called to let me know of the serious illness of someone we know. I learned of the death of a friend's s

Do you know that it's Tuesday? I had to check my phone, because I didn't know what day it was. I know it's past Boxing Day, but days all blend together for me. I differentiate by appointments, both social and medical, for which my phone will send alerts the night before. I don't know what I did, but my back has resumed causing me pain. We'd done quite well, no pain and reduced medication for weeks, but this morning when I woke up and began to stretch there was a stabbing pain that has stayed all day. Now it feels like a toothache in my spine, and it's draining, annoying, painful and a misery. Jerry has spent most of the day curled up on my lap, just snuggling and petting me on my tummy. Good little boy! Don was having a great time on the phone with his nephews and son - he (like many of the men I know) tends to keep phone calls brief, generally under 3 minutes, but I giggled as he topped half an hour on one call. I'm also happy (but don't tell him) that

Happy Boxing Day, and start of Kwanzaa. It's a chilly, snowy day here, and we're at home recovering from last week's exertions. Don was watching Junior Hockey for a large part of the afternoon, while Jerry and I took a nap. Then we watched the musical Cinderella. Jerry had fun with his new toy. and playing with Don. My nurse was here early this morning, so I needed a little rest. I'm following my dietician's instructions to "eat by the clock; so I have several small meals during the day.. We're trying to stabilize my weight, and since I don't often feel hungry. Today I had some leftover turkey (that will be for a while still;) and trimmings, and I'm enjoying a cup of tea now. I had some Cheetos earlier, which was probably not the wisest choice, as it makes me feel full with no real benefit. I'll keep trying-I'm due another "meal" this evening. but it's likely to be an Ensure, as I feel stuffed. And I'll avoid Cheetos for a

Merry Christmas to all! I hope that today was a good one for all. I had a quiet day: I joined my niece and nephew by video for gift unwrapping; spoke with my father and siblings; talked with other family and friends and ate the turkey dinner Don made. Jerry had a lovely time with his new toy (Note: there is no toy that will resist the chewing of Jerry) Don was happy with the day too, and is now watching a sport game-is there any day free of heavily commercialized teams chasing things? As you can tell, I'm not at all interested in pro sports (or the Olympics or World Cup...) but he'll watch almost any team sport. I just need to get him hooked on cricket now... I love Christmas, the whole Christmas season-contrary to the Grinch! The only thing I was unable to do today was attend Mass in person. I did, though. share in the vigil (Christmas Eve) mass via livestream, and the Christmas Day mass on TV today. I love the Nativity narratives of St. Matthew and St. Luke, and over the year

Happy Christmas Eve! I hope that you're enjoying the holiday season, and able to spend time with loved ones. I was surprised to learn that one friend spends Christmas Eve alone-I'm surprised since we usually spend time together Christmas Day. Tonight she's home because of the storm, but we've been talking a lot. That gave me pause-so I hope that everyone has company for this season, at least by phone/ video call if not in person. I did some baking today. bread and fruit buns. The buns are cooling now, and the bread is ready to be made into ham and turkey sandwiches this week. Jerry is on my lap, stretched out for petting. It's a little challenging to write, as he keeps trying to push the pen out of my hand or he puts his paw on my iPad and switches apps. Don's watching a football game - although "watching" is a very generous description... nuff said. I had a discussion today with a friend about the discrepancy between income and expenses in TV shows an

Happy Christmas Adam, aka Tibbs' Eve! It's a fun, fake holiday with roots in Trinidad and Newfoundland. My friend from NL and I realized that they combined well. On Christmas Adam, the baking, pre-Christmas cleaning and gift wrapping are completed, so all homey activities. Tibbs' Eve sees the men heading to the neighbourhood pub to escape house work! Like I said, a fun, fake holiday. There's a huge winter storm affecting the whole continent, with thousands of cancelled flights, hundreds of car accidents, multiple power outages and howling winds. Last night, the wind howled like a convention of banshees.  Jerry didn't like it at all, and tried to burrow under me to hide. Today was windy and wet, where last night's ice began to melt, causing flooding on many streets, and the snow is coming in, so the floods will freeze, leaving a layer of ice under the snow. Dangerous walking conditions, to say the least! Don went out today to buy a few last minute grocery items.

  Remember that I did groceries so I didn't need to shop this week except for a few items? Well, I didn't account for Mr. "Must do too much" who decided that he had to have a fresh turkey, an assortment of pies and several other items! We went to the grocery today ahead of the storm, and he came in with me... he later admitted that the store was too big for him and he had to sit on a display of boxes to recover. I took his list and got most of the items, so I was tired. Then when we got home we were both gasping for breath (I get short of breath when I carry any weights or bend over, and he struggles to breathe normally) My afternoon plans had to be cancelled while we regained energy. After all that, I asked a friend to buy us a turkey, since Don found the options were unsatisfactory. It's sitting in the fridge now. He's talking about going shopping again tomorrow. Sigh. Jerry is not in favour of that, as he thinks we should always be in sight! I watched a Car

I didn't sleep easily or well last night. I lay awake and tossed for a while, then I awoke early and couldn't go back to sleep. Jerry took it as a sign that it was playtime... he got a longish walk today, and is now sprawled on my lap, with his paw poking my arm to pet him. Don is doing well and is making plans for Christmas dinner-including buying a second (fresh) turkey tomorrow. His idea is for us to shop-before the massive storm forecast. Given that turkey is now less expensive than chicken. it's not a bad idea, and it will mean that we won't need to cook for the rest of the month. As far as preparation goes, I've made sweet bread, pastelles, and bread; I'm considering other items which may or may not happen. My ambitions often outstrip my capacity and energy! If we do shop tomorrow (or Friday) I'll probably do more things, but for New Year's. Don is, as usual, in charge of the turkey dinner, but I'll do some sides and dessert. I had a discussion

  The temperature is dropping again, and winter officially starts tomorrow. There's another winter storm forecast -for later this week, due to peak by Christmas Eve-the plot of almost every cartoon or movie, in which Santa's trip/ holiday trip is imperilled. I've got no travel plans, so we should be safe, warm and cozy. Jerry has been bouncing from one lap to another, looking for cuddles. He climbed into my lap this afternoon, cuddled me then stole my cookie. He's trying now to steal an orange from Don, who is trying to watch  a game and keep his fruit! I watched some YouTube videos this morning. They were broadcast versions of some Muppet and Sesame Street shows, from the late 1 970's. One was A Muppet Family Christmas , which was edited for length in its DVD release and streaming. I'd seen the original, and I miss the parts that were cut. They were some dreadful puns, but I love that about them. Then I found  Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas , which I&#

Srecna Slava Sveti Nikolai!  So many holidays at this time, it really is a festive time! It was windy, overcast but not too cold today, except when the wind gusted. I made a quick trip to the post office to return a phone and mail a couple items, and I got away with my light coat. Jerry escaped and ran down the hall when I was leaving, and he had fun staying just out of reach and running along the hall. He expressed his severe displeasure at being left behind when I went out. Don had difficulty sleeping last night, so he dozed off and on this afternoon. My nurse was here today-he'd been off since I returned in November, so it's the first time I saw him-and his first words were, "You lost weight." Not great that it was so noticeable, but we're working on showing the rate. To that end, Lynne delivered some cookies, but I haven't been able to taste any yet! The man in the house has a sweet tooth... nuff said! Jerry objects to not being the centre of attention, an

Chag Urim Sameach!   It was a little snowy today, but cold, windy and the snow on the ground has become ice. The effect of near-zero daytime and well below freezing at night! Jerry is reduced to a quick trip out because he refuses to wear boots and a coat, but he's also being exceptionally protective and barks at everything. He's on warning that he will have to wear his shock collar (it vibrates and beeps but he hates it) if he persists in his noise. Don is fine. I got him to watch the World Cup finals-I really dislike it when games at that level are reduced to shootouts! It's not an individual sport after all-then he got to watch hockey and an NFL game, so he's happy. Meanwhile, I'm recording some Christmas movies to binge on this week, so I'm happy! I also made a batch of sweet bread. now happily cooling in the kitchen. I was talking to a friend who admitted to never having seen "It's a Wonderful Life! I started to tease him, but revised that since I

There was more snow today, but less than yesterday. At one point, I looked out on a world hidden by falling snow; blocking my view.  Jerry was a little hyperactive; he wants longer runs than he can handle in this weather, and he wants to play. He spent several minutes in "zoomies" mode, running, jumping and scratching-and pretending to bite Don when he was playing. Don was fine, except for some trouble catching his breath.. It was caused by him doing too much lifting and carrying as we try to move items back out to the balcony. It's again on pause, while I consider more options. I made some bread today-my usual weekly activity-and then I took a nap, because I couldn't keep my eyes open this afternoon! When I woke up, I decided to cook the filling for pastelles. That's all done, and I will work on making them during the week. It's a lot of work for one person-last year, at my sister's, it took 3 of us several hours. My routine, especially since I got sick h

Snow! Snow! Snow! It's not a clip from " Holiday Inn ,"it's what's been happening since around 10pm yesterday. We've had about 15 cm so far, and there's more on the way. It was also a windy morning-the wind has calmed a bit, making it a winter's day. (Technically, winter doesn't start until Wednesday at the solstice.) His tiny  bossiness has been in and out several times, leaving footprints on the balcony. He goes out, realizes that it's cold and snowy, nags to come back in, sees the snow blowing around and asks to go back out. I 'm seriously thinking that he will need his own door so I don't have to keep opening the sliding door every 5 minutes. Don is feeling better-his aches and pains have faded. He's been watching the snow piling up, being grateful that he doesn't need to shovel. As am I, and that I've never received (or needed) the "Canadian woman's ultimate gift" of a snow shovel! My day started with a ca

I'm still sore and achy after yesterday's shopping trip. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night because of the pain. It's better now, but oh my, it's no fun. Jerry is in his protective mode, and is on  my lap growling at anything that distracts from petting him. Don has been catching up on his sleep, because he was also stiff and sore after yesterday. I will confess that pain-filled nights lead to some very dark thoughts. Thankfully it doesn't happen often but on nights like last night I struggle. I am not suicidal-let me just be clear on that point!-but negative thoughts and fear fill the late hours and dawn seems like it will never come. I then try every tool in my collection to regain equilibrium. My thoughts go the way of George Bailey in " It's a Wonderful Life " before Clarence arrived. (I'm assuming that everyone has seen that 76-year old movie by now a few dozen times!) So far, my Clarence hasn't put in an appearance, but I

Ouch! I'm stiff, sore, aching all over and struggling to breathe. This is the result of shopping at Costco and having a very full cart. (And I didn't get everything on the list either!) When we got home my support worker helped pack away stuff but there's more in the car that will be brought up when she's next here. I knew, halfway through the store, that I had run low on energy, but I couldn't stop. I'll definitely need to get lots of rest after today! Jerry has been on high alert today, and is unsettled. It started with the building's fire alarm testing-which he hates- then I was on the phone, and then we were out (he went to PetSmart while I got groceries) and then my support worker... lots of excitement! Don is also tired out, and he's aching also. Tomorrow is not a busy day-I have spoken! We're expecting a snow storm tomorrow evening so we will hunker down. It was a lovely surprise running into an old friend today at Costco. It was pleasant to l

Ugh! The cold has descended on us, and I'm not happy with it. Of course, living where I do, cold is a feature for months on end, so whining does nothing except annoy others. Jerry, for reasons known only to himself, has been growling and barking at the door. I go to check, and the hall is empty, but the tiny monster is still in guard mode-not relaxing. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee today. but she cancelled because work was busier than expected. I quietly confess that I was tired, so I wasn't unhappy to get the cancellation message. Yesterday we did the first (of possibly 3) grocery runs. I had a small argument-I don't use self- checkout. My view is that I don't work there, so I think I should use the actual cashier. Yes, I'm a curmudgeon. Anyway, the store had zero open cashiers, so I was forced to self-serve. I pressed the "accessibility" button, and someone came over to say that I could check myself out. She was in a dreadful temper when I r

It snowed today... I was on video chat with some of my European friends, who showed that their street was snowy, and another who said that her husband had called her outside to show her that it was snowing. I said that we hadn't any yet, but not 10 minutes later I looked one at a heavy fall. I haven't gone out yet. but it looks like it will lie. Jerry has gone exploring on the balcony, but he returns to complain about his cold toes, then he wants out again. Don is doing well overall. He gets out of breath quickly (This is why, kiddies, you should not smoke!) and has been using the fan to help his breathing. I'm really pleased that he's fine. I spent a part of today sorting through some old clothes, and have the start of a donation bag. This was inspired by my cousin T, who cleared her closet, and I felt that I needed to do the same. I pulled out one storage box and found several gifts that I'd bought but not given- so that saves some shopping this year! I've dec

 Definitely a cold start to the day today. It was a lovely, clear blue sky, so very deceptive!  Jerry managed about 5 minutes before starting to hop on 3 legs. That didn't diminish his urge to be outside, though. He'd agitate to be let out, and almost immediately change his mind and complain about the cold. He then would curl up on a lap to warm up his toes. I spent a large part of the day searching for my Christmas decorations- unsuccessfully. You'd think that there aren't many hiding places in a 2- bedroom condo, but clearly, you'd be wrong. I dug through my storage area and came up partly empty- aalthough I did find a few items that I'd forgotten. The tree is therefore still undressed until I get to the storage bin in the garage. I did do some filing so it wasn't a total waste of time. Don just laughed at me while I hunted. Mean! So since I was hunting for decorations I was also listening to Christmas music. Now,  sadly, I never reconnected my stereo syst

Winter is coming-the temps are starting to drop below zero and it promises to be very cold tonight. Jerry has a love- hate relationship with cold. He gets extra frisky, but also shivers badly. It doesn't help that he refuses to wear boots or a coat. Right now, he's  perched on Don's shoulder hoping to mooch some fries from his dinner. I'm being glared at by a tiny dog who wants access to my lap. The tree is in place, but is waiting for ornaments. That's going to be my weekend project. It's a small tree, but very cute. A picture will be posted when it's done. The tree arrived a day ago, and I spent a few minutes digging out Christmas decorations. I did find several things that I'd forgotten I had. I'll definitely have fun setting up the tree- I haven't done one for several years-last year I was at my sister's, and before that I wasn't too well. It's fun, in a way. but at the same time, a lot of unnecessary work. It's good, though.

It was a fairly mild day today; when there was no wind, it was pleasant to be outside. Jerry had a lot of fun running around and  barking at other dogs who were also out getting their  walks. The electrician arrived today and fixed the problem in about 30 seconds-we're torn between relief that it was a quick fix, and  sheepishness that we'd needed to call a professional for something so minor. My insomnia has resurrected;  I was awake until about 2 again, while my mind went into some shadowy places. It's partly due, I know, to having received the news that one of my aunts, and her husband, are both deteriorating. They are both close, and I'd begun to be concerned as I'd not heard from them for a bit. This is not good, and I'll obviously need time to process. Oddly enough, one of the latter  conversations with her was about the ages of her family when they died. I went to the post office this afternoon with a bag of items to post. Yes, I still send out physical p

For some unknown reason, I didn't sleep well last night. I finally got about 4 hours' sleep, and I'm starting to yawn widely now. Jerry had a lovely time out with his buddy Sam, and he was very excited when she arrived. Don is carefully guarding the phone, waiting for a call back from an electrician after all the excitement last night of a blown circuit when a space heater shorted out. There's no damage, thankfully, and minor inconveniences. It seems that the repairs will wait another day,  though, as it's past 6pm now with no call. My holiday preparations are still not in place. I did buy a tree today-a small one, because space is a premium. Blame Jules, whose tree is magazine-worthy, so I'm now motivated to do a bit more than I'd originally planned. No fear, I won't go overboard, since I'm practicing being sensible. Stand by for updates on how that goes. We're getting close to the time to submit university applications. My niece and I are narro