Learning and understanding

An interesting curse… Geese are the mafia of the bird world and are absolutely dreadful creatures.  Vicious, territorial, loud, messy and otherwise awful.  They do look lovely, wandering in open spaces, but that’s about it… walking through the grass means avoiding lots of poop, and you’re at risk of being attacked!  So instead of wishing all sorts of awful things on people, just wish geese on them.  They can’t kill them — they’re protected — so it’s a truly awful state.  😈. Jerry is in the proverbial doghouse.  I was eating my supper earlier, and he was trying to beg.  I chased him off, paused to take a drink — and he stole my pot pie off my plate!  He lapped up all the gravy almost immediately and was away to the other side of the room before I could put down the glass!  He’s looking very proud of himself, but is curled up on Don expecting him to be a shield!  Don feels pretty good today, which is a relief, and is watching even more sp...

Fall is here!  The weather is firmly in the “seasonal” range, which, although normal, feels distinctly cold after the last few weeks and the heat wave.  We’re rapidly approaching peak leaf colour change, which means that there’s less green and a lot of red, orange and yellow all around.  Mornings are usually foggy, cold enough to see your breath, midday is chilly and evenings require snuggly blankets, the “OfDon” cloak, socks and hot drinks. I’ll definitely have to stock up on hot chocolate (that someone likes!) and look up soup ideas.  Jerry is exceptionally snuggly and has been complaining  anytime he’s not on a lap (usually mine) and has to amuse himself.  Don is a little more energetic, and moved around a bit more today, although that exhausted him and he’s catching up — I understand that, as I have the same issue when I do too much (or pretty much anything at all)  Surprisingly there’s no sports on tonight (or it’s on one of the channels we don’t ...

It rained a lot today; and the temperature has dropped to seasonal, which, after the last few days, feels distinctly chilly!  I broke out my blanket/throw and have been wrapped in it with a small black dog curled up on my lap.  He’s now annoyed as I’ve thrown him off and he’s of the view that he’s the most important being in his world, and he should be allowed to do whatever he wants when he’s ready, never mind my intentions.  It’s hard to read/type/write when he’s on my lap as he forces the iPad to be too close to my eyes, hence the regular evictions!  Don’s a little better again today, and had a very healthy portion of food and desserts for his supper.  He’s got one of the everlasting sports game things on TV now, but I’m wondering if I can take advantage of his bio break to change the channel to something that is more interesting to me… although I’ve learned that he’s good at revenge, which may include turning up the volume when I’m trying to sleep or somethi...

It was a cool, humid, sometimes cloudy day, with occasional gusts of wind.  This morning, just around 6am, when we were all fast asleep, I heard a crash in the living room.  I didn’t know what it was, it woke me up, so I got up to go see what had happened.  Accompanied by my tiny shadow, I walked down the hall to the living room.  I noticed that the room was brighter than usual, but as I rounded the corner I saw that the curtains over the picture window had fallen, complete with the rod, onto the floor.  A quick check showed that one of the supports had fallen but we’re trying to work out how this happened — the curtains fell about a metre to the left of the window, and it was the right-hand support that had broken, so you’d expect that it would have fallen straight down, or at least dangled from the left  side.  No idea, and I’ll have to work out what to do with it.  Annoying.  Jerry went to check it out, then came back to tell me that he ne...

🎼🎶 Oh what a beautiful day; I have a beautiful feeling…  Be thankful that you can’t hear me murdering that song, ok?  Small mercies and all that.  In my mind I sing like a trained soprano, but I’m not my choir director sister, and I can effectively carry a tune… in a bag. 😜. What an utterly gorgeous day!  It was a sunny 26C with a pleasant breeze off the lake (which is still cold) and I was outdoors for a good chunk of the afternoon.  I called my boys as usual today, and they were planning some form of mischief, so I took the prudent path and asked no questions so I can deny any knowledge if asked!  Jerry is now into the stage of firmly ignoring me, he doesn’t even twitch a lash when I talk to him.  He’s also giving Don the cold shoulder, so I think he thinks that Don is hiding me away.  At night, when I call before bed, Jerry places himself in front of the camera with his back turned, and tries to knock it out of Don’s hands.  He’s a very...

It continues to be hot and thankfully not particularly humid, at least while I’m indoors.  The sun feels like I’m being hit by tiny rubber bands when I’m outside.  Jerry hasn’t been taken to the park because neither Don nor I can manage with the heat and as I mentioned yesterday, he’ll develop heat stroke if he’s out too long.  So we’re trying to keep him (and us) cool and hydrated.  A few minutes on the balcony is great, as we can take in a bit of the “city view”and relax. So nice. I feel wonderfully loved today.  My lovely friend and her hubby visited today and brought me some homemade paella.  It’s absolutely delicious,  My only regret is that I can’t have any alcohol, as this would be even better with a glass of white wine.  But that’s a very minor issue, and I thoroughly enjoyed my meal.  Thank you, Miriam and Mike!  It was wonderful to see you, and the paella is just a bonus.   My niece is preparing for her confirmation at the...

Today I'm grumbling about the heat, which is, not to put too fine a point on it, brutal. I've been dealing with nausea, which gets worse when I'm out of the AC, so I realize that it's heat-related. Now, I'm an island girl, who grew up in the tropics, so I should be able to cope with the summer heat. But it's really beyond my capacity to cope. Yes, I'm whining a bit, and I apologize for that. I'll try to keep the moaning to a minimum. The pain is higher today than yesterday, again proof of the weather's influence. I've been trying to get hold of one of my doctors to arrange a follow-up appointment. Now, I have a small army of doctors and medical professionals, and keeping track of my appointments is practically a job in itself. Sometimes I've got several appointments in a week, and there are other sessions-my home care nurse, the support worker, etc. --that I have to work around.. There are days when my calendar is more packed than when I was ...

I'm doing happy dances, well, figuratively, anyway, because my back still won't cooperate. But I managed a full 8 hours of sleep last night. I cannot overstate how happy I feel when I get a good night's sleep. It's fabulous. I also had a mini-pause and met a friend for a slice of pizza this afternoon. It was great to see him because it's been a really long time since our last meeting. I continue to be self-conscious about my appearance particularly because my back is now very curved, and I really feel like Quasimodo. I don't like how I look when I catch sight of myself in the minor. I mean, I was never a beauty queen, but I was also not a candidate for the freak show. And yes, I know that vanity is not an admirable quality; that being alive and mobile beats my opinion of my looks. I know all of that. But still... Which of us doesn't attach some value to our appearance? And I, like most people, cringe away from being pitied. I hate it when I get that look fro...

  The heat and humidity of Ottawa's summer has settled in. It’s again one of those paradoxes where it's hotter and more humid than on an island in the tropics! I'm finding that breathing is challenging. I'm really unused to this, and I'm working on finding methods of coping. I sit and elevate my feet in the hope of relieving the  swelling in my feet and ankles. Don keeps reminding (nagging!) me to lie down, rather than sit up and fall asleep in my chair.. _working on it!  A t least my pain medications appear to be working, as my pain is lower than it was. So it's a bit of a relief! I have a question, which I'm hoping that someone can help me answer: why are people so angry all the time at everything? It is confounding me. When I talk to people, it doesn't take long before the conversation descends into a rant on something. Lately it's about Covid; vaccines; stupidity, snowflakes, and so on. It appears that there are at least 2 reasons to be angry fo...

  So after a night of glorious sleep, I struggled a lot to get 4hours altogether.  Swings and roundabouts, eh? It’s all good. Tonight I expect to fall asleep fairly quickly-I was dozing off in my chair while talking with my dad at 6:30 pm, so I expect that to translate into sleep. My yarn detangling continues. I've managed to unsnarl a large chunk of it. I'm still working at it slowly when Jerry allows. He's decided that yarn is not something he allows to take up space on his lap. 😜 I continue to be discouraged by the manifestations of idiocy at large in society. I'm seriously disturbed by the number of people who seem to be unable to apply basic logic and science. What on earth were all of these people  doing during school hours? I submit the following for your consideration: On a morning show segment on a local farm; "our pigs are free range so their fat is organic, and that's good for you." (Pre-Covid) Grocery samples. "It's got organic cane s...

. Butterflies!  Aren’t they lovely?  I was thrilled to get this picture today showing these beauties!  I was actually looking at some crochet patterns of butterfly decals today and considering a few projects — I’m really going to have to stop coming up with more assignments and plans and just make a few!  I’m also stopping myself from buying more yarn, for precisely the same reason… It’s hard enough making choices and narrowing my options now, it would be far worse to winnow out the wider selection that I see.  So many choices!  So many colours and patterns and designs!  I’ve got my list of the next 3 projects and when I’m done the first one, I’ll add a new one. My list of planned items is already over 20… I have more planned patterns than I could finish in a lifetime.  It will get better, since a number of them are small crochet projects. I'm slowly catching up on my sleep deficit. Like last night, when I fell asleep after composing my email with...

I have no idea what happened to my last blog post. I went to look at something, and it suddenly wasn't there! Oops... so I will attempt to recreate it, but not now. I went for a walk around the block today, being pulled by the tiny, furry dictator. I'm happy that I was able to go, but it was tiring, because he has so much energy!  He had a great time although he definitely thought that his walk was too short, even though he was starting to get thirsty 😁 There are days when my level of happiness and comfort with the world is less than optimal. Some days a comment from a well-intentioned person can send me into a bit of a spiral and it takes a lot of effort to recover my equanimity. I got one of those today, when I was told, "You need to be more positive." Really ? I do? It got me annoyed, which of course affects my cheerful positivity level.  . My closest friend commented to me later that I'm obviously recovering, since both my sarcasm and my snappy responses ar...

 

Today was another painful day.  I had a lot of difficulty falling asleep-I was awake until 3am, then I was awake again at 5am. The result of course, was that I was drowsing off in the middle of the day, and falling asleep in my chair. Not the most comfortable way to nap!  Although, as my dad pointed out-if you can sleep in a position, then it's at least temporarily comfortable, so… I need to remember that the surgery itself was very successful. I'm able to walk again, and I was at real risk of being paralyzed if I did nothing.  The challenge is really that I now have a torn tendon, which is dreadfully painful so it's a wholly different issue. It would be better if I did not have that issue but it's one of those things, I guess. Let's be honest-I'm frustrated with the level of pain I've been dealing with this week. It feels like all I've been talking about is the hurt in my back, and I'm fed up with it. Between that and my insomnia, I feel like a mise...

😮‍💨 Another tiring day with pain. I'm really running out of ' energy for so many things. It's ironic, really, that we're trying to reduce my pain and improve my energy level, but it's slow... My doctor reminded me, again, that the surgery was just over a month ago, so it's still fairly recent. I'm trying to adapt. I'm trying to explain to myself that it's a question of time.  I  saw my physiotherapist this afternoon, and she will be adjusting my exercise routine to account for the ultrasound results- tendonosis and a torn tendon. That will mean approximately 6-8 weeks; the work will be to maintain mobility in the joint, as there isn't really much to do before she discharges me. We have discontinued one of my medications, because we aren't sure that it's really a benefit. We had adjusted the dose  up and down, with no real change in my pain level, unfortunately. So we will see later. The pharmacy just dropped off my new prescription, and...

I had another  broken night last night. I d idn't fall asleep until after 3am, and I was awake again by 6. No reason why. I was awake like that. I can't even blame shopping on binge-watching TV. Speaking of, we binged all of season 1 of "Rebel" which was excellent; it's a pity that it's been cancelled.😢 I did sign the renewal petition so fingers crossed for season 2! Great writing, excellent cast, and the plots are gripping.     As a result of not sleeping well, I was sluggish again today. I've confirmed that if I'm overheated, I'm in more pain. Today  was humid and hot, and my pain level was higher. That's going to be a challenge to manage when I go to Trinidad. I mean the temperature in Trinidad is consistently above 30c I cannot make it suddenly cool, nor can I reasonably expect to drop it below 20, so I will need to manage it. But that being said, I'll have to go carefully. Apart from that n rest so let's hope they're right. I...

  I just got my birthday present from Don- an Apple Pencil which I'm testing out.  Don was pleasantly surprised to know what he got for me, but is happy with the purchase 🤣🤣 So far I like it! It writes like a regular pen, and translates to typed text.. What a time to use technology! All the things I dreamed  of as a kid are coming to pass! It’s just fun! The coolest part is that each generation of technology gives rise to even more, so that it accelerates and the technology passes into oblivion quickly. The next version might be to allow me to think what I want and have it appear on screen 😆 The downside is that it becomes expensive  to keep up. The question then becomes how much do I want to spend keeping up with technology? The answer for  me is that I prefer to wait for mid-range tech, not for cutting-edge, but because mid-range is:  likely to be more affordable,  more sustainable and likely to stick around and more easily integrated into my...

Should I start singing the praises of sleep again?  I had several good naps again today, then decided that perhaps a conversation with my doctor was in order, since I found that I was sleeping from the time I took my meds.  He agreed with me, and we’ve reduced the dose of one of my pain meds.  The first change, effected tonight, already has me feeling more alert, so I think it’s a win.  Once more, I strongly recommend keeping lines of communication open with your medical team, because they are primarily concerned with ensuring that your health and well-being are maintained!  I feel it necessary to point out that that trusting and following the advice of your team is essential in promoting your health and recovery.  I don’t understand the people who go to the doctor, obtain medicine but refuse to take it because “Dr. Google” says something else!  I met someone who told their doctor that they were refusing to take prescribed medication because they saw t...

It is the day!  D-Day!  Discharge day!  I’m going to run out of exclamation points soon 😂  Last night I slept for maybe 3 hours, since my newly-installed roommate was a talker, and his assigned nurse apparently worked as an 18th-century whaling ship shouter! Between them, they destroyed any hope I had of sleep, since they would start a conversation just  as I was falling asleep.  In fact, they disturbed me enough that I got out of bed and joined some of the other patients in the rec room to watch the hockey game.  (I managed to win a cup of tea in trivia 😆 and joined in some fun banter before I returned to bed as the game went into overtime.)  Any knowledge I have absorbed about hockey in the past years stands me in good use for trivia, since little Caribbean girls aren’t expected to know things like “who scored the  goal?” or to justify why Orr is a better player than Gretzky. (Just accept it; I won’t get into a discussion!) I managed...

Closer, getting closer… almost all the ducks are lined up (you!  Get back in line!) as we prepare for going home. I have a test that’s going to be rescheduled because of an emergency, so it will be delayed and done as an outpatient.  It’s not a big deal, so I’m just going to wait.  I’ve ordered a couple of items that I’ll need to make things simpler and they will be delivered over the weekend.   There are some things that I’ve learned that I need to share about being hospitalized, especially during a time like this where things are unusual.  Today I’m just focussed on things that relate to managing self care and self advocacy; we’ll deal with other things another time.  Like the apples that are growing so prettily near the mosaic shed by the wishing well. Step one… talk to people.  Talk to the care team, to the support staff, to the helpers, to other patients.  The more you interact with others, the better you’re able to learn what’s happening and...