Learning and understanding

It was -10 today.  MINUS.  Below zero!  I can’t say that it’s a huge surprise, as every year at this time we have a bit of a snowstorm, but today was beautifully sunny, even if frigid and blustery!  I’m not putting so much as a nose outdoors until it warms back up above freezing, thanks for asking!  Jerry is guarding my feet right now, after making an unreasonable amount of noise because he heard my neighbour drop off the paper at my door.  I think he’s tired out from that… Don’s doing pretty well, and his appetite makes me envious since he managed to eat a double-stuffed foot long sub and then went looking for dessert.  I ate half of a 6” sub and was stuffed.  What does that tell you?  (That clearly, my sandwich wasn’t as good as his.  Or something like that.) I had an early morning visitor; my lay minister arrived after early Mass, so I dragged myself out of bed for 8am, and after he left, I jumped back into bed and slept for another 2...

It’s the end of October in about 2 days and all of a sudden it seems that Mother Nature has just checked her calendar!  The temperature took a massive nosedive and it feels icy!  Apparently they’re calling for the s-word overnight into tomorrow; yes, I know the time is coming, but does it really need to rush?  I think not.  Since last night, the fire alarm in our condo began to beep every 30 or so seconds.  It’s unsettled Jerry badly, to the point that last night he tried burying himself under me, and today he’s been shaking and trying to hide!  When he’s on me, he’s trying to climb inside my shirt and is trembling badly, poor little guy.  He’s unnaturally quiet, and while I like him not barking incessantly, I don’t like him in this shaky state.  I’ve called the building manager, left a voicemail and an email and am waiting for a reply.  The longer I wait, the angrier Don gets, so I hope I am the one who answers any calls… Apparently if there...

I woke up to rain this morning, and it’s continued being a wet day.  Jerry stuck his nose outside and came back in to complain that his fur was damp, he’s been nudging me to stop the wet, please, all afternoon.  So when I saw this photo of Guyaguyare in south-eat Trinidad, I decided to share it.  Don was quite happy last night as his team won, so he and his son were chatting until fairly late; I admit to some relief as it gives me a (short) break until they start playing again.  He was glued to baseball today, and that’s just one of those things.  I spent a large part of the day working on a crochet project, and I worry that I don’t have enough yarn to complete it.  I tried finding more online, but the colour I have seems to be discontinued.  Worry not, I will find a solution that doesn’t involve me starting over! I have been privileged through my life; I’m realizing that more and more.  I am not wealthy, nor did I attend an exclusive school, but ...

The weather is relatively mild, although there’s a wind that pops up and cuts badly.  There’s a storm forecast either on the weekend or at the start of the week — because it’s March, and unpredictable weather is the hallmark of this month!  Jerry is a little hyper today, and has been leaping around and barking at everything  exacerbated by the fact that the building is repainting the stairwells and he can hear people moving around which drives him nuts, so he passes along his annoyance.  I had some extra energy today, so I roasted a chicken and some potatoes, so we’ve got meals for a few days now.  Don enjoyed his meal, and I had a small plateful, so that was good.  We’ve got an appointment with the new family doctor next week, as his first proper encounter with us, and I’ve just got to get Don to go do his blood tests so the doctor will have his (mine were done at the hospital when I went in this week.). I’m not wild about doing blood tests or doctor visit...

Waking up at 5am is not something that I find encouraging.  I slept poorly because I kept waking up, afraid that I’d slept through my alarm, until I actually  slept through the alarm.  🫢  The boys were up early too, and we were all in the hospital before the sun came up.  These are the days when the nights are gradually getting shorter, but it’s still late sunrises and early sunsets.  Jerry met the new neighbour today, and was being super charming.  She greeted him with, “So it’s you that I heard barking!” I felt dreadful, and apologized for him, then he spent most of the day growling and barking whenever he heard people walking up and down the fire escape stairs.  Don managed to nap after we got home, so he’s rested up in time for tonight’s sports games on TV. It’s the time of year when my mailbox is stuffed with appeals from charities all wanting a share of my income.  There are so many hundreds, even thousands of charities, all of which a...

I was kidnapped today, as suggested earlier this week.  My #EFIR (who retired, so is technically a #REFIR) who is also my sister-friend, came to collect me after her medical appointment, and we picked up coffee and pastries (I’m apparently very evil for taking her to pastry shops around the city and “forcing” her to eat desserts!) and settled onto a sunny bench at the Experimental Farm to picnic.  It was a beautiful day, lovely and mild, and we enjoyed the time.  The boys would have loved it too, so I’ll have to bring them on a nice day.  Jerry had a brisk walk this morning, as it was somewhat chilly, but he just perked up and barked at everything that moved!  Don is doing well, and laughed at my revolving door routine today — when I got back from my “kidnapping” another friend came to take me out to dinner.  Delicious seafood pasta and we shared a decadent cheesecake for dessert.  I’m home now, tired and achy, but very glad to have been out today. ...

Friday marked 8 years since my big surgery.  I’m now into the 9th year since I lost most of my innards, and very very grateful to be here.  There are days that seem very mundane, and I think that maybe I should be doing more productive and exciting things, then I remind myself that life isn’t  a checklist of excitement, and if we did  live in a world of non-stop thrills, we’d never appreciate them.  So I have learned to be appreciative of “ordinary” things that make me happy — like cuddling the tiny dictator (that’s how I spend many nights and early mornings!) or relaxing with Don, or liming with my friends.  All things for which I’m thankful to have had another 8 years to enjoy.  I’ll continue to pray for many more!   So I’m a fairly easy-going type, and I don’t tend to get worked up and angry easily.  I believe that I’m fairly reasonable, and can understand the points of view of a wide range of personalities, and I can adjust and accommodat...

Yesterday was The Great Rogers Interruption  where most of the country lost access to internet, phones, and of less weight to me, cable TV (I’m sure that home security systems were also out.) It was unusual to have no connectivity for almost 30 hours, and several services are still either offline or performing erratically.  (For instance, if I turn the channel to the news, it will suddenly change to car racing when nobody touches a remote.). Plus none of the recorded shows will play off the PVR — all extremely minor inconveniences — and we managed quite well.  I dug out several books, including some that I’d downloaded, and read quietly most of yesterday, ignoring the little twinges that suggested that I could be doing something more productive .  Today I took the little dictator out for a short walk — made shorter by the fact that I’d forgotten to take my cane, so I couldn’t go quite as far.  Don took advantage of the outing to nip out to the grocery, so I was ...

This is easily one of the cutest photos on my roll… One little puppy all snuggled in and holding my hand!  He’s ready for his mid-morning snuggle and tummy massage 😊. He spent almost the whole morning cuddled against me, hugging my hand and just being the most affectionate that I’ve ever seen him.  He’s adorable.  Don is feeling a little better today, and looks more alert than he did the last few days, which is excellent.  I’m happy about that; I never like it when he’s not feeling good, or when he’s pale and tired a lot.  I also like it when his appetite is healthy, so that’s another good thing.  The puppy is adorable, isn’t he? I was listening to someone complain about “ cancel culture” and how it’s being abused by snowflakes, whiners and all those useless types.  Let’s get one thing out of the way quickly.  Sometimes people do  abuse the system and do all kinds of things to squeeze money out of people.  I have ZERO respect for people...

 It’s slightly warmer today, but overcast.  Spring is on the way.  I had a small dog curled on my lap any time I sat on my chair, and if I was not sitting, there was a small dog curled on my cushion!  The boys went to the supermarket this afternoon, and I’m a little nervous to see what comes home with them!  One of them is known for coming home with bags filled with pies, tarts, cakes, candies and assorted junk food and not much in the line of fruits, vegetables or the components of meals!!  The other is particularly good at getting underfoot when I’m putting away groceries.   In my conversation with my niece, she mentioned that they were told about church groups and other activities that were available.  I said to her that when I was a teenager, girls were not allowed to be altar servers.  She was shocked to hear that.  She said that all of her life she’s seen girls as altar servers, so the idea that they were banned was just appalling....

  Doing OK today. My back feels a bit stiff, but the pain isn't too bad. I slept well, and got good rest. So yay! As far as my appetite goes, I'm still not able to eat much, but I'm able to have food other  than Ensure. I'm working on it, and I'm doing my best to increase my intake. Jerry would enjoy it if I shared more of my leftovers with him. It doesn't work, though. Don and I are trying to cope with the challenges of weakness and aging, doing things like being able to bend over to get water and food to Jerry. Sigh. This getting old and being sick is not for the faint of heart! Nor is it something enjoyable, but the alternative is inconceivable! I learned this morning that one of my aunts was hospitalized on Thursday after not being able to eat for several days. She's due to have a procedure to treat a condition that was discovered since she was hospitalized. I'll ask those of you who believe to pray for her full and speedy recovery, please. For the r...

I saw the pain management specialist today. He's generally pleased with  my progress, as the pain is gradually improving. He's less happy with my appetite (I've lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks-not a recommended approach!) nor with the level of my tiredness. He reminded me that I've been through a very difficult time in the past 6 months what with  surgery, a fractured vertebra, a torn tendon and then a high dose of radiation. It's a lot for a person to handle... It's a bit challenging, to say the least. Jerry  is again being attentive, and mostly curled up on my lap. When we got home from the hospital, he  crawled into my lap and petted me on my tummy (like I pet him) and snuggled in. He's so affectionate when he's ready. My appetite persists in being annoying. we'll see how it can be managed. I'm eligible, or will be, for the COVID booster. I'm questioning the ethics of 3rd shots when there are countries that are still waiting for their first! The  s...

Another small improvement today- pain is down a bit, as is the nausea. I'm pleased. I'm working on my appetite, but baby steps!   Jerry was hyperactive today. My nurse made an early visit - 9am - so Jerry was immediately suspicious that someone was going somewhere and he was determined they wouldn't leave without him! We finally got him settled and he curled up as usual. But not before he shredded an old cushion. I spent several hours on the phone with Bell technical support to try to resolve the issue I'm having with calling Trinidad. I started by asking for an update on the ticket that was opened yesterday. Apparently, those numbers are MBUI.  (Meaningless But Unique Identifiers) Nobody could read it! I repeated the story at least 6 times. I was disconnected twice. I spoke to every department  except TV. I was told that my long distance plan had expired. Then I was told that I'd need a tech to come to check my line... My frustration was skyrocketing. Finally I was...

It's that day in the year when sandals in Ottawa relocate to their winter lodging. My toes have been rounded up and corralled into "foot snuggies" (AKA "Socks") and are no longer free-range toes! Tragedy ! I'm excited to report that I had a small bowl of soup today. I am still struggling with a less than robust stomach. Two days more! Incidentally, in my session today, I asked the techs why they'd opted for such emo tunes? It was really sad! I said to them that they've saddened me. BTW, the 2 teams who look after me are now called Team Pomegranate and Team Passion Fruit. All fun! Jerry is stealing blankets to use as fortresses. When we pull out afghans on the sofa, he drags them onto the floor, makes a nest, and settles in! Woe betide you if you move it! He will allow me to drape a throw over my leg, but he settles on my feet instead. He pulls enough for him to lie on. Spoiled pupper! I’ve been thinking about how we use language as a weapon. It's...

Another note to self: when you do dumb things, recovery is not quick. Even if you think that you were following all the rehabilitation rules, it does not go away quickly. Trying to pass along the blame to my therapist for the pain is of limited value as my interaction is only for an hour and a bit after review and revising my exercises and my progress. I estimate that I'd be closer to "normal" after tomorrow. At least, I hope so! At my last nurse's visit, she muttered that my pulse and blood pressure were difficult to identify. For some reason, she couldn't detect my heart rate, and therefore readings were difficult to obtain.  It got more entertaining when she tried using the automatic reader and that also had problems reading my pressure. It took about 3 tries before it settled, leaving me wondering if I had suddenly lost my heart-not in San Francisco, as I've never been there.- but somewhere near here... LOL I think that I've narrowed down my prospectiv...

Thou shalt listen, mark, inwardly digest and obey all instructions given by thine medical team. Patient, thou knowest nothing. and thou art not God. Therefore, when thou hast an idea, and it conflicts with the detailed, specific instructions provided by the demi-god who is the medical professional, thine idea will be put on ye heap of rubbish, there to be incinerated, and thou shalt obey. Else thou wilt be deservedly suffering, and shalt get no  sympathy. Because fools deserve their misery!   I thought that I knew better than my team, and chose to do stuff that's resulted in me being in agony again today. I am, rightly. paying for it, and now I'm done with my (scheduled) tests today, I returned home and crawled into bed and cursed my stubbornness and gross stupidity. As an aside, it was very amusing at the CT are. I had started writing some of this while waiting, and the RN passed by and saw me. She was so excited that she called the technician, the other nurse and the poster ...

I'm doing happy dances, well, figuratively, anyway, because my back still won't cooperate. But I managed a full 8 hours of sleep last night. I cannot overstate how happy I feel when I get a good night's sleep. It's fabulous. I also had a mini-pause and met a friend for a slice of pizza this afternoon. It was great to see him because it's been a really long time since our last meeting. I continue to be self-conscious about my appearance particularly because my back is now very curved, and I really feel like Quasimodo. I don't like how I look when I catch sight of myself in the minor. I mean, I was never a beauty queen, but I was also not a candidate for the freak show. And yes, I know that vanity is not an admirable quality; that being alive and mobile beats my opinion of my looks. I know all of that. But still... Which of us doesn't attach some value to our appearance? And I, like most people, cringe away from being pitied. I hate it when I get that look fro...

Ouch. Last night I slept in an awkward position-I'm blaming Jerry-and this morning I woke up.in a LOT of pain.  The pain is now starting to subside, but it's still throbbing. I'm hoping that it will improve  before I go to bed later and that it's gone completely by the morning.  Anyway, I had to be slow and careful today, just because my back was so tender! Today is Emancipation Day- the day that the Slave Trade ended in the then-British Empire in 1834. It's been a holiday in Trinidad & Tobago for most of my life, and there were celebrations to mark this milestone.  As I had noted in an earlier blog post . Emancipation celebrations were primarily for beach days or birthday activities for my dad. It was later on that the import of the day had an impact on me. mainly from my involvement with a community group. My move to Canada awoke an activist spirit in me that I was unaware existed before. I'd like to pretend that I was "woke" from early on, but I...

  We'll return to my religious inclinations in a bit. Today I started feeling better. I slept longer, and went back to having a nap mid-morning, which helped. I also managed to sneak a piece of the ice-cream cake (one slice left in the freezer for the birthday boy!) and totally enjoyed it! Gotta love cake and ice cream, even more when combined! I also discovered a frozen sticky toffee pudding today- excavating the depths of the freezer can be rewarding!! (Note to the anti-sugar crowd: none for you! It's all mine! 😈😜) I had a lovely, long conversation with my niece today. We don't often get to have long chats, because, well, teens and life, but I do enjoy them when we can. Part of this one was about confirmation preparation, and as her godmother I try to encourage her to ask as many questions as she can so we can talk about thorny or touchy subjects.  The class was about vocations and discernment. I threw my mind back almost 40 years ago to when I did that session, and I w...