Learning and understanding

A dear friend of mine commented yesterday that facing cancer is not for the faint of heart.  After hearing the diagnosis, which can make your world feel like it’s falling apart, comes the treatment.  The strength of will that it takes to hear “You have cancer.” needs to be multiplied several times to be able to face the cure, which is almost always hard on the body and harder on the psyche.  When people talk about the “battle with cancer,” it sounds like it’s all a question of strength and willpower (sort of like losing weight.)  Neither of them is just about willpower – if that were all, it would be a simple matter to recover.    The battle, at least from my perspective, is not so much one of the body, but of the mind.  The strength that it takes to keep the demons outside.   The courage to endure the waiting.  Waiting for tests, then for the results, and then for the next round of tests.  A battle to ensure that faith continues to exist, and that there is hope for the future.  The

OK, this is another one of those obvious topics that has been cropping up a lot lately.  We have a complicated relationship with food, which is just sad. I should have a complicated relationship with my finances, shoes or closet space.  Less complicated with my friends, and totally uncomplicated with my dog.  But instead, there are so many unpleasant things being circulated about food that I almost feel like I’m cheating on my fridge when I eat. First off, let me say something that will upset about half of my friends.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD FOOD. (with the exception of brussels sprouts.  They aren’t food, they’re tiny evil green poison-pills attempting to kill you.  And tofu.  I don’t care what magazines say, but it’s clearly not edible.)  Then there is the VERY short list of things to avoid: tempeh; carili; okra.  (I insist that they aren’t actual foods, just evil personified.) We can all agree that there are certain foods that should not be eaten at every meal.  They’re

My 8-year-old niece was reading to me the other day from one of her books.  I’m immensely proud of the fact that she reads, and that she reads well, but I was mentally groaning at the story she chose.  It was something about fairies who spend all their time eating candy… or perhaps they were candy, it’s hard to follow.  At least, though, they weren’t all pink. Reading was my lifeline as a child.  I was happy with a book in my hand, and often had to be told to put it down to be able to do things – chores, eat, bathe, sleep, you know, the things that interrupt your reading?  My worst punishment was to be told that I couldn’t pick up a book (that happened once, then was never used again.  I think it had something to do with me telling stories to the flowers.  We’ll never know!). I realised that all of my favourite children’s books are more than 50 years old.  Yes, even the Dr. Seuss, although we didn’t have many of him until I was much older.  It surprised me to find that so many of t

At this point, the details are well-known to my friends and family, so I can skip rehashing them.  Instead, this is about the period of recovering and how it feels.  The emotions that are roiling through are sometimes hard to explain. For the most part, I try to stay positive.  It’s easy enough to find things to do to keep me from dwelling on negative thoughts.  Then, too, counting my blessings is easy.  I’m surrounded by loving people and I have a support system in place. There are days when things overwhelm me.  These don’t happen often, but when they do, it feels like nothing is manageable and I’m standing in the middle of a tornado trying to hold on to the ground.  I am not always able to say “Help!” or even take a breath. Maybe it’s childish, but the things that are most likely to trip me off are “well-meaning” comments, those that come from someone who is trying to help but doesn’t know how.  You know what I mean:  the forwarded email from someone to say that “if you don’t eat