Somehow the rythm continued
This time of year is very difficult for me. It was this week in 2012 that my life changed irrevocably. Every year since then, I find myself reliving this week almost hourly. I think about the circumstances that led up to this week, and the subsequent activities. Some of them are easier to handle than others.
Back in 2012, I had a minor operation in May which should have meant 2 - 3 days off work. Instead, I was off for over a week, and then had a persistent infection that had me on antibiotics for most of the summer. I was tired frequently, and my energy was low. Checks with my GP suggested that I would need additional tests, but I was diagnosed with malabsorption and put on a special diet to improve my iron, vitamin and other levels.
In September, I had planned to visit my friends in Europe, but that was canceled because of a change in their circumstances. So I thought that I would surprise my parents with a visit home for their 45th anniversary. I flew home, arriving on October 28, the day before their anniversary. On the 29, we went to dinner at the restaurant where we have celebrated many events in our lives. The live performer sang my parents’ favourite song (Kenny Rogers’ Through the Years) and the owner covered the cost of the dinner. I love going there, not least because the food has been consistent forever, and also because the staff are like family.
On the 30, we started Christmas preparations, in part because we were planning to have me share in some of the goodies before returning to Canada. I was sitting with the family making pasteles, when my feet swelled up so badly that I couldn’t stand or walk. I called the insurance company to advise that I would be going to the doctor, and went to my family GP early the next morning. He’s known me since I was an infant, and has treated my family all of my life. When I explained that my feet had swollen, he asked for a urine sample, and did a short exam of my abdomen. He said that he could feel something that he wanted checked, so he arranged a CT scan for the next morning. That night, we dressed up with my niece for Halloween and relaxed at home.
November 1, I headed in to do the scan, then went out to lunch with a friend. That evening, I spent with other friends, having dinner and catching up. November 2, I went to pick up the scan report, and headed to Dr. Akal, who waited for me after his office closed at noon. I handed him the letter, and waited while he read it. I’d never seen him frown before, and I said to him “what’s wrong? You’re frowning.” He tried to stop, but... when he finished reading, he said, “you have a tumour, and you need surgery. I’ll arrange with you to see the surgeon immediately.” I protested that I was due back in Canada within a week, and I could go to my doctor with the report. His response was, “I can’t allow you to fly. You will need to do this here.” I drove home, and I still have no memory of getting from his office to the house. All I remember is thinking, “I need to talk to Don, I need to talk to Daddy. They will know what to do.” I found my father at home, just getting ready to head out, and handed him the letter. He said that we’d handle everything; then I called Don and told him. He said, “just deal with it, and we’ll manage.” He didn’t tell me that he was worried sick, and that he was starting to work out how to travel — something that terrified him.
November 2, the surgeon called and asked me to meet him at the hospital for 9:00am. Both my parents went with me, and sat in the room while Dr. Narayansigh did the exam. He told us that there was a large tumour, and that he was 95% sure that it was cancer, before seeing any test results. He made plans to operate on the 9th, removing the tumour and my left kidney. The world seemed unreal after that. Who goes home to celebrate an anniversary and has to have a kidney removed?
We’d planned lunch to celebrate the anniversary, and went after the meeting with the surgeon. We broke the news to my siblings who were all immediately ready to support. My sisters began arranging for blood donations, the boys started discussing how to ensure that we had meals, etc, without having to worry. On Sunday, we all went to Mass, and that was when things began to hit...
In this, I didn’t have much time to react. That came on the 4th, and I’ll explain more in my next post.
Back in 2012, I had a minor operation in May which should have meant 2 - 3 days off work. Instead, I was off for over a week, and then had a persistent infection that had me on antibiotics for most of the summer. I was tired frequently, and my energy was low. Checks with my GP suggested that I would need additional tests, but I was diagnosed with malabsorption and put on a special diet to improve my iron, vitamin and other levels.
In September, I had planned to visit my friends in Europe, but that was canceled because of a change in their circumstances. So I thought that I would surprise my parents with a visit home for their 45th anniversary. I flew home, arriving on October 28, the day before their anniversary. On the 29, we went to dinner at the restaurant where we have celebrated many events in our lives. The live performer sang my parents’ favourite song (Kenny Rogers’ Through the Years) and the owner covered the cost of the dinner. I love going there, not least because the food has been consistent forever, and also because the staff are like family.
On the 30, we started Christmas preparations, in part because we were planning to have me share in some of the goodies before returning to Canada. I was sitting with the family making pasteles, when my feet swelled up so badly that I couldn’t stand or walk. I called the insurance company to advise that I would be going to the doctor, and went to my family GP early the next morning. He’s known me since I was an infant, and has treated my family all of my life. When I explained that my feet had swollen, he asked for a urine sample, and did a short exam of my abdomen. He said that he could feel something that he wanted checked, so he arranged a CT scan for the next morning. That night, we dressed up with my niece for Halloween and relaxed at home.
November 1, I headed in to do the scan, then went out to lunch with a friend. That evening, I spent with other friends, having dinner and catching up. November 2, I went to pick up the scan report, and headed to Dr. Akal, who waited for me after his office closed at noon. I handed him the letter, and waited while he read it. I’d never seen him frown before, and I said to him “what’s wrong? You’re frowning.” He tried to stop, but... when he finished reading, he said, “you have a tumour, and you need surgery. I’ll arrange with you to see the surgeon immediately.” I protested that I was due back in Canada within a week, and I could go to my doctor with the report. His response was, “I can’t allow you to fly. You will need to do this here.” I drove home, and I still have no memory of getting from his office to the house. All I remember is thinking, “I need to talk to Don, I need to talk to Daddy. They will know what to do.” I found my father at home, just getting ready to head out, and handed him the letter. He said that we’d handle everything; then I called Don and told him. He said, “just deal with it, and we’ll manage.” He didn’t tell me that he was worried sick, and that he was starting to work out how to travel — something that terrified him.
November 2, the surgeon called and asked me to meet him at the hospital for 9:00am. Both my parents went with me, and sat in the room while Dr. Narayansigh did the exam. He told us that there was a large tumour, and that he was 95% sure that it was cancer, before seeing any test results. He made plans to operate on the 9th, removing the tumour and my left kidney. The world seemed unreal after that. Who goes home to celebrate an anniversary and has to have a kidney removed?
We’d planned lunch to celebrate the anniversary, and went after the meeting with the surgeon. We broke the news to my siblings who were all immediately ready to support. My sisters began arranging for blood donations, the boys started discussing how to ensure that we had meals, etc, without having to worry. On Sunday, we all went to Mass, and that was when things began to hit...
In this, I didn’t have much time to react. That came on the 4th, and I’ll explain more in my next post.
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