Lucky to have been where I have been
“Off on another trip? You’re so lucky to travel as much as you do... I wish that I could travel too.” I’ve been having this conversation several times lately. It’s an echo of one I had with a former, now deceased, colleague many years ago. She was talking about a planned trip somewhere off the beaten track, and I said almost the same words to her. Her reply stuck with me since then, even though we were never friends. She said, “you have leave available to you, and you have a steady income. You can choose to travel if that’s important to you.”
At the time, I said that I couldn’t because I had obligations, that I didn’t have anyone who would travel with me, and I had a long list of excuses as to why not. My colleague pointed out that I had the choice to do what was important to me. That was a slow-dawning revelation, which was reinforced by several elders who stressed the importance of self care. One of the things that I had to learn was how to balance my training on work and play. As a teen and student, the key message was “work first, play later!” I was always deferring enjoyment until after my obligations were met. It was a conscious decision to say that I would travel now and not wait until after retirement. Funding travel meant decisions on whether I moved to a larger home or not; whether I wanted the latest car or not and so on.
A couple of years after this conversation, I went to my boss and said that I wanted to take a long holiday because I needed a break. We negotiated that I would take 2 months off, and as the date approached, I questioned the wisdom of my plan, and almost backed out. But on that holiday, I visited a friend in Jamaica and we toured much of the island. I also managed to reconnect with several other friends with whom I had lost touch. I went to London and Brussels with another friend who had recently retired. It broke my pattern. The following year I went to the Middle East.
In the last few years, since my diagnosis, I’ve done lots more travel. My doctors were told that I plan to get on planes and go on trips as long as possible, and they have collectively sighed and worked to help me meet this goal. I enjoy seeing new places, but I enjoy far more sharing the experiences with friends. One of my challenges is that my desires outrun my strength, and I always do so much that on my return home I have a couple of days where I need to rest. I’m also frustrated because I need to use a wheelchair, and my freedom to move around is restricted. Then there are the very rude people who work to make me feel uncomfortable for needing the assistance, in part, because I don’t look sick.
The conversation with friends now starts, “So when are you leaving on your next trip? Where are you going?” Many times my answer is “I don’t know yet.” But I do have a list of places that I’d like to visit — not a bucket list, because I find that concept limiting. If my strength and my doctors allow, I would happily be on a trip every couple of months. Of course, my finances need to stand the strain! So if anyone wants to contribute to a “Keep Sonja traveling” fund, just contact me! I promise lots of pictures highlighting adventures 😘. Failing that, I plan to enjoy as much as I can of my friends and family, with as many good memories as we can create together. So... what shall we do next?
At the time, I said that I couldn’t because I had obligations, that I didn’t have anyone who would travel with me, and I had a long list of excuses as to why not. My colleague pointed out that I had the choice to do what was important to me. That was a slow-dawning revelation, which was reinforced by several elders who stressed the importance of self care. One of the things that I had to learn was how to balance my training on work and play. As a teen and student, the key message was “work first, play later!” I was always deferring enjoyment until after my obligations were met. It was a conscious decision to say that I would travel now and not wait until after retirement. Funding travel meant decisions on whether I moved to a larger home or not; whether I wanted the latest car or not and so on.
A couple of years after this conversation, I went to my boss and said that I wanted to take a long holiday because I needed a break. We negotiated that I would take 2 months off, and as the date approached, I questioned the wisdom of my plan, and almost backed out. But on that holiday, I visited a friend in Jamaica and we toured much of the island. I also managed to reconnect with several other friends with whom I had lost touch. I went to London and Brussels with another friend who had recently retired. It broke my pattern. The following year I went to the Middle East.
In the last few years, since my diagnosis, I’ve done lots more travel. My doctors were told that I plan to get on planes and go on trips as long as possible, and they have collectively sighed and worked to help me meet this goal. I enjoy seeing new places, but I enjoy far more sharing the experiences with friends. One of my challenges is that my desires outrun my strength, and I always do so much that on my return home I have a couple of days where I need to rest. I’m also frustrated because I need to use a wheelchair, and my freedom to move around is restricted. Then there are the very rude people who work to make me feel uncomfortable for needing the assistance, in part, because I don’t look sick.
The conversation with friends now starts, “So when are you leaving on your next trip? Where are you going?” Many times my answer is “I don’t know yet.” But I do have a list of places that I’d like to visit — not a bucket list, because I find that concept limiting. If my strength and my doctors allow, I would happily be on a trip every couple of months. Of course, my finances need to stand the strain! So if anyone wants to contribute to a “Keep Sonja traveling” fund, just contact me! I promise lots of pictures highlighting adventures 😘. Failing that, I plan to enjoy as much as I can of my friends and family, with as many good memories as we can create together. So... what shall we do next?
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