The people that you meet...
In his office, one of my friends has a piece of artwork which is a stylized pair of birds which have their wings outstretched and their necks entwined. I saw them as being in a dance, he saw them as fighting. It’s really a revelation on the day when you understand that the only person who perceives things the way you do is you. There are others who may have similar perceptions, but there are always differences from your worldview. Sometimes the differences are complementary, such as when one of you likes cheese and the other crackers, so you share the appetizer. Sometimes they don’t matter, like when you like crossword puzzles and they prefer sudoku. But sometimes they shatter relationships.
Usually they relate to some strongly-held beliefs, or some long-standing practices.When these collide, it’s possible to create a deep rift between people. I know, for example, that my Christian Catholic beliefs are at odds with several of my friends. As teenager, another member of our youth group questioned my faith because I preferred short prayers and action over lengthy orations. Some of the older members of our parish were horrified at some of my actions, such as casting a young Muslim girl to play the Virgin in a Christmas play, or closing a prayer service using a Hindu invocation. I never saw these as negative, and in fact, I derived a lot of enjoyment from challenging the establishment.
Now, in full confession, there are those who use religion as a crutch or an accessory. These are the ones who say, “the Bible says...” while doing some really atrocious things. Some are the ones who will post lengthy biblical quotes about being “highly favoured,” and greet others with apparent piety, just before slashing someone’s reputation or spewing hatred. I feel a wave of anger when I encounter them, which is often hard to control. I have limited my time with the pseudo-believers, who are really easy to identify, as they find it necessary to regularly condemn instead of praising.
Another of the differences that can splinter relationships is that of health and medical treatment. The current climate which casts doubts on medical practices and recommends a “homeopathic” approach is really 21st century voodoo. There are so many pseudoscientific articles that work to promote fear and distrust — and to line the pockets of unscrupulous charlatans — that it’s almost impossible to escape them. Anyone can tell you that I have strong, negative opinions that I do not hesitate to share on this atrocity.
Most recently, though, I’ve realized that my thinking has diverged from some of my friends. In one case, we were talking about gender equity, and my friend was of the view that the issue would be resolved if everyone dressed as a man, was addressed as “he” and conformed to a masculine “sexlessness.” Another was of the view that men are the source of all problems in the world, and that if we were to progress, women need to be in charge... by and large, though, these are topics we can work through without destroying our friendship.
When is it worth keeping the people whose views are very different from yours? Well, can you discuss your differences openly and respectfully? Can you find points of commonality from which to grow? Can you laugh together? Can you disagree and step back to evaluate the other’s point of view? Can you accept the difference? If “yes” to all of these, then you keep each other. If “no” to all of them, then part company. But please, reach out and meet new people... it will challenge and enrich your life!
Usually they relate to some strongly-held beliefs, or some long-standing practices.When these collide, it’s possible to create a deep rift between people. I know, for example, that my Christian Catholic beliefs are at odds with several of my friends. As teenager, another member of our youth group questioned my faith because I preferred short prayers and action over lengthy orations. Some of the older members of our parish were horrified at some of my actions, such as casting a young Muslim girl to play the Virgin in a Christmas play, or closing a prayer service using a Hindu invocation. I never saw these as negative, and in fact, I derived a lot of enjoyment from challenging the establishment.
Now, in full confession, there are those who use religion as a crutch or an accessory. These are the ones who say, “the Bible says...” while doing some really atrocious things. Some are the ones who will post lengthy biblical quotes about being “highly favoured,” and greet others with apparent piety, just before slashing someone’s reputation or spewing hatred. I feel a wave of anger when I encounter them, which is often hard to control. I have limited my time with the pseudo-believers, who are really easy to identify, as they find it necessary to regularly condemn instead of praising.
Another of the differences that can splinter relationships is that of health and medical treatment. The current climate which casts doubts on medical practices and recommends a “homeopathic” approach is really 21st century voodoo. There are so many pseudoscientific articles that work to promote fear and distrust — and to line the pockets of unscrupulous charlatans — that it’s almost impossible to escape them. Anyone can tell you that I have strong, negative opinions that I do not hesitate to share on this atrocity.
Most recently, though, I’ve realized that my thinking has diverged from some of my friends. In one case, we were talking about gender equity, and my friend was of the view that the issue would be resolved if everyone dressed as a man, was addressed as “he” and conformed to a masculine “sexlessness.” Another was of the view that men are the source of all problems in the world, and that if we were to progress, women need to be in charge... by and large, though, these are topics we can work through without destroying our friendship.
When is it worth keeping the people whose views are very different from yours? Well, can you discuss your differences openly and respectfully? Can you find points of commonality from which to grow? Can you laugh together? Can you disagree and step back to evaluate the other’s point of view? Can you accept the difference? If “yes” to all of these, then you keep each other. If “no” to all of them, then part company. But please, reach out and meet new people... it will challenge and enrich your life!
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