A lifetime and the aftermath

Today is my official retirement date. It’s 21 years to the day since I began working in the Canadian federal public service.  In that time, I attended the retirement parties for several colleagues and participated in the standard jokes about not working, and thought about what my retirement would be like. I had planned to retire at 60, with 30 years of service and an almost full pension, and then move into my post-retirement role, which would include perhaps some volunteer work, or some contracting or something that would occupy my mind and provide some good to my community.

Instead, I’ve learnt the reality of statements like, “Man proposes, God disposes,” and “life is what happens when you’re busy making plans,” among others!  I look back at my career, my plans and dreams about it, and where I am now and I have to accept that things do not always go as expected.  I’m the first to admit that I didn’t always make the best choices, that I’ve not always learned from the experiences appropriately and that I sometimes made my life harder than it needed to be. 

I was cleaning out some old files recently and I found the letter that I had received for my first job in Canada as a telephone help desk agent supporting Canadian immigration systems internationally.  It was for a 3-month contract, and on the basis of that I settled in Ottawa.  I signed a 1-year lease on my apartment, somewhat reassured by the building manager that my 3 month offer was likely to extend into years of employment with the government.  (Spoiler alert:  It did)   

The first few years, while I worked at what was then Citizenship and Immigration Canada, were extremely busy. When my 3-month contract ended, I was offered a 1-year one.  Based on that, I registered for a 3-year Masters program (to simplify my job hunting by having Canadian education) and signed up to learn French (to improve my employability in the public service) while I waited to meet the residency requirements for citizenship. 

In my second year, I was accepted for an assignment to be a special advisor to the Director General. It was, and remains, one of my favourite roles in my career.  I got an unparalleled view of how government worked, and how IT supported operational needs. I had the chance to participate in some very high level meetings, including ones on setting national policy, on security, on issues related to leadership in government, and I was introduced to the role of multiculturalism in Canada. That was my first encounter with the visible minority network (and a long dispute over the use of the term ‘visible minority’) and, as it happened, where I met several people who became my extended family.  It was during this time that I became a permanent employee, so I was no longer wondering about the next contract.

I spent a year working at Public Works and Government Services, supporting an application development team, working on my French and wrapping up my degree, before I returned to CIC.  At the end of that year, several things happened in short, but important, order: I graduated with my Masters, passed my French exams and became a citizen. It was a very exciting time, and I felt that there were doors opening all over for me.  It took another year, but I returned to PWGSC, this time to the Banking unit. I learned there more valuable lessons on how to be a manager, developing leadership and technical skills, and honestly being stretched intellectually. I also met my most inspirational and supportive manager in my career.  After a couple of years, I moved to the Acquisitions branch, where, as it happened, I spent the rest of my working time.  I worked with some wonderful people, who have been tremendous support and encouragement in recent months. 

In addition to my “day job,” I also got involved with several activities. I was very active with the visible minority networks, both departmentally and across the public service. I supported project management implementation and training, serving on department committees to standardize knowledge and practice.  I volunteered in leadership development programs and in conflict resolution training, and ultimately, I served on a task force to increase diversity and inclusion in the public service. 

In my first 4 years, I was fortunate enough to travel to work in Alberta, where I spent time in Banff - returning there 3 times in the next 2 years; I enjoyed the drive from Edmonton to Jasper, through the Rockies to Calgary.  I spent time in Nova Scotia, where we visited Cape Breton and drove most of the East Coast before arriving in Halifax for work - also a trip I repeated a few years later.  Also for work, I travelled to the Gaspé region in Quebec, having to be there several times a year for a few years; I commuted between Ottawa, Toronto and Montreal while working on another project; I travelled across the country to provide training for a new system and I spent a week in the UK acting as Sherpa to the Minister.

As I recall my working life, I remember many fun times, the friends that I made and the opportunities that I had.  In those years, I know that I matured, from the naive (but cocky) newly landed immigrant to the somewhat cynical manager of years. I’m deliberately omitting mention of the (thankfully few) people who were miserable, draining pleasantry from life.  The people who wanted me to understand that I was an outsider who should be grateful to be allowed in the room with them.  There were far, far more who were supportive, encouraging and who were happy to share their knowledge with me, and who made me feel like I belonged in Canada and in the public service. These were the ones who were my mentors and guides, and ultimately, my friends and family. 

So here we are, two years after I left the office because of my illness... I wrote about my experience here

I knew that today was going to come earlier than I originally planned, but the past few days have made me somewhat stressed about it. It means having to admit to myself that my future has arrived and it looks nothing like I thought, and that many, if not all, of my plans won’t materialize. I’ve been asked why don’t I just go ahead and do what I wanted, and I’m tired of having to explain the situation to them. I will have to devise other plans, and adjust my thinking accordingly. It’s time now for the next stage... the aftermath of my working life. Let’s go!  Allons-y!