And a lots of work to be done

 I apologize in advance. This post is likely to be inflammatory, but I think that I need to write it. It is not intended to hurt anyone, but it is based on reality and the people involved will recognize themselves. I won’t identify anyone, I’m not pointing fingers, and this ultimately comes from love and concern. I’m happy to discuss the issues that I raise, but not the individuals.  

St. Joseph Youth Group c. 1983

 This is a photo of my church youth group.  We met originally during preparation for the sacrament of Confirmation in 1982/83. Classes were for 2 years on Saturday mornings, and our cohort became quite close. Our collective parents found themselves as hosts to a horde of teenagers regularly- almost never one or two! After we were confirmed, we went on to form a youth group, which remained quite active until we began to drift into adulthood and life continued.  The bonds are still there, although obviously not exactly the same. But this picture led to the situation that I need to address.

I pulled up this picture while looking for another one on my phone (I really need to arrange my photos better!). I was with a friend, and I said, “Oh, look, this was my group when I was in my early teens!  We were so young!” and showed them.  To my shock, horror and disgust, they replied, “This picture is offensive and discriminatory. Why are there no white people?”  At first, I thought that they were joking (and if pressed, they will probably try to pass it off as a joke) and I asked, “What do you mean?  These are the people I grew up with, and this is what a random photo from my country would look like. There are some whites, but the majority are not.”  “Well, it’s just ridiculous. Keeping the white man out and making them look like the villain. They should be included.”

So... this is a friend of many years standing. In recent months, as the protests in the USA have escalated, we’ve had some discussions on them, and I explained a few times that it’s not my role to demonstrate what oppression looks like, and that conversations about race needed to happen without labeling sides as “thugs”, “vandals,” “criminals” or those people.”  I’ve also stressed that inclusion and diversity have no room for racial superiority, nor is there any accommodation possible to excuse ongoing acts of race-based discrimination. I’ve said, and I thought that I’d made my point, that the belief that Blacks are naturally more violent, criminally-inclined and lawless is wrong and not based on anything except hatred and stupidity.  I’ve pointed out that media representation matters, and that showing racialized individuals in the same light as whites is necessary and truthful, not “pandering.”

I don’t subscribe to the theory of racial superiority. My very existence is in opposition to the concept of racial purity - according to family lore, we blend at least 8 separate ethnicities in one, and according to my genetic profile, it’s more like 35. When we discussed that once, I remember (aged around 10) feeling deep pity for my classmates who could trace their ancestry to a single country. I thought that it must have been really sad for them not to know what it was like to mix Spanish with Cantonese and a bit of French because just look at what you missed! It was even more eye-opening for me, on arrival to Canada, to meet people who thought that religious diversity meant having a Catholic and a Presbyterian church in the same village (and who had never met a non-Christian). But I really didn’t expect to meet people who thought that being white meant that they were discriminated against because there were countries where most people were black and brown. They said that if I looked at the history of the world, I’d see that it was only because of white people that civilization had come to the world, and we should all be grateful. Whites brought order, laws, learning and structure. They admitted that there were some contributions from other people’s, but mostly ones who were white or who had been under white influence the longest. The evidence was clear — just look at Haiti and most of the African continent!  Except Egypt, because of the pharaohs and the links with Moses. Oh, and not China, because of gunpowder, and besides, Chinese people are really good at maths.  Or the Greeks, because democracy, and the Romans. It goes on in that ridiculous, dismissive way. All learning, science, art, language and history are white, except when describing how bad things can get.  Anything originating from a non-white group was from a very long time ago when those people were more white before they degenerated into the garlic-eating, lazy, blots of the present day. Inconvenient details, like the legacy of the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the destructive nature of European colonialism and repeated wars fought on the backs and lands of non-white peoples just prove that only whites can successfully govern. The actions of the Belgians in the Congo were “appropriate” because the Africans couldn’t manage without white oversight.  The punitive payments enacted on Haiti by France were “necessary” to compensate the French for the loss of their slaves. Yes, there are some people who believe this nonsense.  A very myopic view of human development.  A much longer discussion, but reparations for slavery need to be made to fix the systems and institutions that have kneecapped the development of racialized communities.  Not payments to individuals, but restructuring the international money system to reduce the debts imposed on poorer countries which have been exploited for cheap labour and subjected to environmental and humanitarian abuses.

Like a lot of people, I initially thought that BLM was an overreaction that made mountains out of molehills.  More recently, though, the glaring evidence of a multilevel system that is stacked against people of colour is impossible to ignore for any thinking, feeling person.  My own experiences pale in comparison with many that have been documented, but I know that they are real.  It’s not me being “too sensitive” or “misunderstanding”.  In many cases, I can brush off the slings that are thrown, and sometimes use an opportunity to educate someone.  For example, when I stopped relaxing my hair, it led to a number of comments, not all of which were positive.  I was told that my thick curls were “unprofessional” because they didn’t lie flat.  I was asked why I didn’t just cut my hair short if it was too difficult to straighten it daily.  Or I’d have people go in the other direction and suggest that I shave patterns into my hair, or wear it locked or curl it more tightly.  Just “have fun” with it, because it couldn’t be tamed into sleek submission, so it might as well be creative. I once had a hairdresser who said that he didn’t know how to wash curly hair!! (He has been consigned to the outer darkness and replaced by my treasured magician)  In chatting with my friends, no white woman has ever had another one come up and start playing in her hair, or asking if it’s real or suggesting that she shave words onto the side of her head, or “just have fun” and colour it pink or green.  When I said that, I received horrified looks and she moved away from me.  “That’s not very professional,” I was told, and besides, straight hair “doesn’t work” with the more creative hairstyles.  The alternative was the friend who wanted cornrows (because all black women know how to do cornrows and it looked so good in the movies)  

Or take the question of race at work.  How many white people are likely to have their manager say, “Well, you know how those brown people are; you can’t be too careful with your money.” And then ask you to explain how to stay safe in Mexico (a country that you may have visited once but is certainly not your home!)  Or say things like, “I’m not sure that they really fit in; they want time to pray during the day, and they don’t have bibles.”  When you point out that having access to the quiet room is allowed on their own time, being told, “well, it’s just strange.”  

 For my friend, and many like them, my comments on how race plays into my life is just proof that BLM is stirring up trouble, because I managed to get a job, and become a manager, so obviously race couldn’t be a real factor.  It’s all one way to keep men down, like feminism, which is pushing women into roles where they don’t belong. I don’t understand how it’s possible to argue that all of humanity rests on the accomplishments of about 5% of the whole (first, eliminate half the population who are women, then the parts of the world outside of North-western Europe)  Never mind the mental gymnastics required to support the ideas (I read this very convoluted description of how Jesus was white, even while being fully Jewish because the family of Mary were blond and blue-eyed, but not Elizabeth or John the Baptist, who were definitely Semitic.). I mean, it’s obvious that the Messiah, although Jewish, can’t be anything but blond, white and blue-eyed.  And St. Nicholas, who is of Arabic extraction, is also white, because...  That cultural appropriation has been going on for a long time, but the effort needed to justify the choices is really not worth it.  I think that feeling the need to make and keep all icons white speaks to deep insecurity and a realization that you’re not as great as you want everyone to believe.  That’s why these idiots scream “All lives matter.”  And why they want “Straight pride.” And why they will park in handicap spots, object to parental leave, vilify the poor and cheat on their taxes. 

Let me say this. Ensuring that everyone has the same rights does not punish you. Hiring the most qualified candidate might mean that you get passed over because you are competing against someone with more relevant experience. It may mean that a new person, with fresh ideas might be better for the organization than you, who is mired in the status quo.  Allowing someone with a mobility challenge to park near the door doesn’t disadvantage you, but allows someone more independence and to complete their errands. Recognizing same sex marriage has no effect on your heterosexual marriage because the groups don’t overlap.  Saying that one group is disproportionately represented is not racist, but denying that it can be corrected is. Denying that there are systemic issues that prevent groups from fully participating in society is racist, blinkered and stupid. I can go on, or I can just suggest that you google “micro aggression” and how it affects the people around you.  Then I suggest looking up “discrimination,” and why it is not possible to discriminate against a majority group.  Then add “equity,” “inclusion,” “diversity,” “openness,” and why they are preferred to “tolerance,” “assimilation,” and “uniformity.”

I have been distancing myself from that friend, because it is not my role to teach everyone, nor is it my role to represent all black and brown people and speak for them. I’m willing to explain certain things, to accompany them as they learn how to navigate better. But as for being offended because there are countries where the population is 97% non-white, or because someone points out that being white doesn’t make you a god, then you’re open for being mocked as a jackass and next time, you’ll be outed.