Christmas changes too

 Here we are, a month away from Christmas, which means that the ads are in full flow!  As usual, I’m encouraged to buy, BUY, BUY! new cars, computers, electronic equipment, jewellery, toys, and to get “the PERFECT gift!”  That’s not even including the flood of emails with sale promotions promising discounts of up to 75% and reminders of shipping deadlines to get delivery by Christmas. These have been running since at least August, but are becoming more frequent as December approaches. 

I understand that retailers need to make money, and the gift exchange season is when we are most likely to spend on fripperies and folderol- things like extra jewelry, electronic items, multiple ties, socks, coffee mugs, and so on.  I’m fine with them advertising all that, but is it really necessary to start the promotions in July?  Bam smack in the middle of the hot part of the year for those of us in the northern hemisphere and six months away from the actual event.  Then the Christmas music starts in October (thank goodness that there’s a moratorium on it here until after Memorial Day on November 11)  I love Christmas music, I do, but it seems that there are only about 20 songs that make it into the radio rotation!  How many variations of “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer” can you listen to, really?  That doesn’t even include the maudlin and saccharine songs that pop up as “exciting new” entrants. Although  there’s several thousand songs that we could play, but apparently there’s a rule that we’re limited to the same vapid list annually.

This doesn’t even touch on the ads that repurpose Christmas songs... when we’re using Deck the Halls to buy electronics, or We wish you a merry Christmas for cars... it’s depressing that the same songs on the radio are also commercial jingles!  I feel trapped and mired in an endless cycle of ads and more, more, more, buy, buy, buy... and the images are all of smiling parents lavishly gifting multiple children with expensive items, or husbands purchasing cars and jewelry for their wives (who seem to reciprocate with tools and home improvement equipment, or coffee mugs.)  Then, of course, there’s Santa, arriving with even more large and expensive items so that living rooms resemble showroom floors!  After seeing all this, is it any wonder that so many people are stressed?

In between the tsunami of ads are the shows and articles that talk about having “the PERFECT holiday!” With menu ideas, decorating schemes, home activities, entertaining children/relatives, gift planning... this list is as long, and as draining as the ads! All the things that you MUST HAVE to ensure the PERFECT holiday!  Of course, the menus need a “twist” to “take it to the next level” so it’s “not your grandma’s recipe” You can’t reuse last year’s decorations, because they’re outdated, and the colour scheme is totally different.  There are the Black Friday (week) sales, which start in mid-November and run until early December, to be immediately followed by Cyber Monday (week) then a “Giving Day”, then pre-Christmas sales, then Boxing Day (week/month) sales... my friends in retail are all hollow versions of themselves by December 12, and they get worse as the month advances  

As a child, I remember hearing adults complaining about the “heavy commercialism of Christmas,” and discussions to “put Christ back into Christmas.”  It didn’t mean anything to me then, and frankly still doesn’t make much sense to me.  In all honesty, that sounds rather Puritanical, and they aren’t famous for merriment.  I mean, they actually banned Christmas!  I think that their actions led to the commercial celebration we know, probably as a reaction to the very strict separation from the religious aspect.  In the late 19th century, when the Victorians (and the USA) began to celebrate Christmas again, with some of the trappings we find traditional (Christmas trees, Santa / Father Christmas) is also when people began to complain about the commercialized nature of the holiday. 

What I loved about Christmas was the sense of anticipation for the day. And the weeks of food preparation beforehand, so that the house smelled of the wonderful scents of the holiday. It’s why I devote a day to making pastels and wrapping them in banana leaves, because that activity (and the smell and taste) are associated with Christmas. Things like cakes, sorrel, roasting ham... I also enjoy eating apples, because this was the time of year that they were available.  As a child, I remember complaints about buying apples, which were quite expensive, as needless extravagance that had no link to the holiday, but they do, to me (and to others of my generation and background.) Not getting everything on my wish list hasn’t hurt me in any way. And because I was one of several children, we never got really expensive gifts individually. The bigger items were usually shared, except for bicycles, and on one memorable year, a telescope!  I’m sure that my parents felt some pressure to buy everything for us, but what we remember was being allowed to choose 3 items from the Christmas catalogues, from which one would appear. (I have fond memories of the catalogues). 

It’s sad, but as I get older I feel less excited by Christmas.  I still enjoy seeing the malls and stores decorated, and (while I was working) seeing the office sparkling with tinsel.  I still love decorating my tree, hanging a wreath and pulling out the Christmas china. But if I compare my holiday with what’s on TV or in magazines, I feel inadequate. When I talk to people who are alone, or who work over the holiday, or (like last year) who are spending it in a hospital, I feel like something is lacking. It seems empty, shallow and vapid. Which brings us back to the question of the level of commercialism in the holiday. 

I have the same thinking on this as I do for Valentine’s Day, and for Mother’s or Father’s Day. If we are showing our appreciation and love for those closest to us, we don’t need either a special day or an expensive gift to do it. A gift should be something from the heart, offered with love, that is thoughtful and showing our attention for them.   Does that mean a new car with 7 years of payments?  Doubtful.  Brand new, cutting edge electronics for toddlers and tweens?  Again, doubtful. Anything that pushes debt levels up?  That’s definitely not a good idea.  But gifts of things that they need, or enjoy, or are meaningful are always good ideas. When you get to the lists of “what to get for the person who has everything,” (or the one who buys stuff when they want or need it) gift giving needs to be more personal.  A gift of time, perhaps, where you’re available to spend time together. I find, as I get older, spending time with my favourite people matters more than another ornament.  Even for children, having so many gifts that it takes days to open them all is less meaningful than having a few, well chosen items and an investment in their future. I’m not a Scrooge, but given that in January the floods of information change from buy, buy, buy to “how to pay off credit card debt”, “finding homes for excess stuff,” recipes on a budget and relationship counselling, it seems obvious that more stuff is not as great as the ads would have you believe. 

In any case, I encourage you to celebrate in the way you think best. For me, that means spending time with people, mostly by video, instead of going on shopping sprees. This year will definitely be different from previous ones, as we live through this pandemic, but time with the people I love matters more than gifts.