Wiped out

I’m doing a humblebrag… my flowers have added another couple of blooms, and there are some babies that are making an appearance!  I’ve actually kept a plant alive for 2 months!!!  Me, whose previous record was about 3 days… Don is laughing at my excitement, calling it child-like, which is, I’m sure a compliment.  I’m really excited, and I want to thank M&M for believing in me enough to entrust a plant into my care.  The pride I feel is almost, but not quite, enough to overcome the pain that’s returned to my back.  I know that I’ve probably done too much, but I’m enjoying taking walks with the dog.  My back has been flaring up again and I need to find ways of controlling it.  I was so happy that we were able to reduce my pain meds by half, and I really enjoyed being pain free for so many weeks.  The thing is that as I’ve been improving on my walking and being able to manage Jerry so that he doesn’t pull badly, I think that I have been trying to increase my activity levels a little too rapidly.  This, I’m sure, comes as a complete shock to everyone who knows me, as I’ve been nothing but a shining example of prudence, caution and reticence, right?  (And the side effects of a couple of my meds include hallucinations, which I don’t have 😂). I’ll have to work on managing my energy a little better.  Don is continuing to do well, which is excellent, and he’s catching up on his weekend sports which somehow now include European car racing, golf and tennis, so I think those were added just to fill in time.

Today is the 19th anniversary of my Canadian citizenship ceremony.  That year was full of all sorts of great things.  My citizenship, obviously.  I also graduated with my MBA, and we (Don, my mother, aunt and I) drove across Canada for my graduation, which gave me a better appreciation of just how large this country is.  With my citizenship, I was able to upgrade my security clearance, which led to better job opportunities, and to being able to apply for my Canadian passport — and I was allowed to vote in federal elections.  So very exciting!  Ten years later, a dear friend of mine was appointed as a citizenship judge, and I was able to renew my pledge with him (a totally voluntary and unnecessary ceremony, but I was thrilled to share in his accomplishment — he was an immigrant from Guyana, and we’d become close friends in the 11 years we’d known each other.)  Sadly, he died the following January from complications with cancer.  I was looking through my Facebook memories for today, and came across my picture at the ceremony.  

So much has happened in the last 19 years.  Looking back, it seems to have gone in a blink.  There were challenges, obviously, and disappointments; a few things that I rather wish had never happened.  But there were far more that were good, uplifting, encouraging and fun.  I’ve met so many new people, many of whom are friends, and happily, some of the people I knew then are still friends (some have drifted away, unfortunately) I’ve had loads of great experiences, including being able to travel across the country as a public servant (before travel was severely curtailed.)  I will admit that it’s lovely to look back and reminisce about my experiences in the last 19 years, and I wonder what I’ll face in the next 2 decades.  

This weekend, though, in a far more prosaic happening, I was able to find a textbook online for my niece after they’d tried all the bookstores in Trinidad.  We also spent a little while talking about the changes that she’s facing as she approaches 18 in a few months.  She’s looking forward to being able to drive, and the independence that can mean.  She and her friends were able to gather to celebrate the birthday of one of their group, and they’re coming to terms with the realization that this is their last year in school — next year they’ll most likely be at university.  

It’s great to look back at things we’ve done, exciting to anticipate the future.  In the meantime, though, we need to be present and enjoy NOW.  Only by doing that can we savour the pleasures of the past and not have too many regrets.  We can also appreciate the hope and optimism of the future without envy.  It’s really not easy to accept that there will be life without us, but a life well-lived, serving others and living in love and kindness will help us accept the finite nature of it.  That being said, I am looking forward to celebrating more events as they arise, so be on standby for notices of when and where we’re meeting!  

Jerry has abandoned me for Don, so I’ll sneak a glass of water and try to do a couple of things while my lap is free.  Good night!