Checkup

This is from Jerry, who has mastered  the ability to fit himself into any available space, from a tiny spot on the chair to a queen sized bed!  He’s settled in a ball on my lap, so typing is uncomfortable!  I tried pushing him off, and got a schnauzer side eye, his legs grew longer and I think he set grappling hooks in my thigh to stay put!! Don is ok, happily watching the playoffs and hoping that the Canadian teams make it safely through the first round, and that one wins the Cup.  Not very likely, and it’s no longer very comforting to say, “At least most of the players are Canadian!”

I had my regular pre-chemo check and bloodwork today.  Everything seems to be going pretty well, although I have to admit that I don’t trust my body any longer.  So even if I feel well,  I’m not sure if things are actually improving or it’s a chimera.  Anyway, when I got home my support worker and I prepared some pork as the filling for meat pies that we’re going to make tomorrow evening.  They taste best when fried, but I’ll bake them, as frying is exhausting.  I’m a bit annoyed that I’ve lost 3lbs in 3 weeks, when I think that I’ve been eating well; in my 20s and 30s, I’d have been thrilled to have lost weight this easily, now I’m struggling to maintain my weight and regain some!  

The nutritionist had recommended drinking smoothies and so on to get food in; I don’t particularly like them.  I’m having to reverse all the behaviours I learned over my life to try to gain weight.  Do you know how difficult that is?  The whole world seems geared to “lose weight, become a better human” so going against the flow is not at all easy!  Things that are suggested for cancer patients, like fruit in heavy syrup or higher fat, high protein, high carbohydrate foods are challenging to find because they’re out of favour!  I’ll just note that it’s a good thing that I have the collection of cookbooks I do, dating back as far as they do, so I can find the original versions of the ‘updated, lighter’ fare that’s in vogue.  I’ll try, for a few weeks, the traditional recipes, using things like coconut oil and corn oil instead of ‘lighter’ options like olive.  Hopefully by my next weigh-in I’ll have an unchanged weight or have gained back a pound or so.  

The other irritation is that the clothing that I bought about 5 months ago is now so loose on me that I can probably fit another person in there!  I look so much like Olive Oyl these days that it’s almost laughable to look at some of my older photos.  Everything has shrunk on my body except “thing” (my hernia) which persists in distorting me.  Oh well, if nothing else I can have a great time getting new and smaller clothes.  A couple of weeks ago, I wore a top that actually almost fit, and I felt that familiar comfort of being dressed in something that’s my size, instead of wallowing in oversized, loose items!  I’ll go order a couple of items so I feel human!

My alarm has gone off to remind me to eat and take my meds, so off I go to do those things.  Good night!