Daze of glory

 


While working through the day, there are stories that emerge that frequently made me stop and shake my head in disbelief.  (As if the others weren't enough!) Yes, these are all true -- and the speakers were oblivious to the irony of their statements.
It's good to know that the government has a process to deal with returned cheques.  At least they're not ALL complete idiots.

OK, we've finally written the project charter and implementation plan for this multi-million dollar undertaking, and detailed all of the requirements, the scope, the deliverables and everything that we'll need to complete it.  Good job.  Now, what do we need to to get this project in place?  And what is it supposed to do?

It's 1300hrs.  Yeah, I'm going to be late, a friend had an emergency.  I had to drive him to the airport; I know I said I would be there by 10, but I had to drive him, then I had to bring the car back to our house, then I had to come in by bus.

I'm not the "flavour of the month" anymore.  I can't function if I'm not the star.

There needs to be a process on what will be the process for establishing a process.  What's the process for developing a process? 

We need to explain what a status of "red" means.

Nobody told us that we had to develop a contingency plan.  That will add 6 months to the schedule if you want a contingency to be developed.

Why do we have to wait until we know what the outcome is?  Just put something out there, and then we'll figure out what it is we're trying to accomplish later.

What do you mean "consulted"?  I mentioned it in passing to someone last week that we were going to do something in the future, and I intend to send out something sometime, so yeah, there was consultation. 

I am so #$%^& tired of paying taxes.  I pay taxes, and I get nothing for it!  I mean, my EI barely manages to cover my grocery bill, and OHIP doesn't cover all the drugs.  Plus my kid still has to apply for the student grant, and I haven't claimed my home reno yet.  And I got my (aboriginal) status card today.  Not a THING do I get for any of my taxes!

I don't need project management to help me out here.  I just need to get on with my work.  I've got too  much REAL work to do to bother with any sort of planning, scheduling, risk management or any of that stupid, pointless project management stuff.  But I'm having a problem explaining just how much I have to do, and figuring out what needs to be done and when.

I don't know how we're going to do the reporting.  I know you have this report that we have to fill out, but I think that we need to do another report to get all the data that will go into your report so we can make sure to capture all the information that we need to report to you.  We'll spend the next week working on a report to put all the information in a report to give you the report that you need.

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