Driving

I was visiting my family in Trinidad & Tobago recently, and almost pulled my hair out over the antics on the road.  Here’s what I observed:

1. Never turn on your indicator. Letting other people know your intentions just ruins your advantage.
2. Stop signs, speed limits and red lights are for wimps. Nobody and nothing tells you what to do!
3. Never yield right of way. Even if you're in the wrong.
4. If you have a choice between allowing someone to pass or causing a 15-mile backup, see previous rule.
5. If you have to pick up or drop off a passenger, or you see a friend going the other way, stop in the middle of the lane. No pulling to the side, or someone might get ahead of you.
6. Even if you're 3' tall, buy the largest SUV you can find. Then drive down the middle of the street.  You’re stylin’!
7. Using mirrors is only for checking hair, makeup and the effect of the spoiler on the trunk.
8. When merging into traffic or overtaking, just pull out.  The other cars will just stop.
9. If you need to make a right turn, make sure that you are in the furthest left hand lane so you have to swing across at least 3 lanes of traffic.
10. When you need to go somewhere, park as close as you can to your destination. Even if it means parking on a curve, at the top of a hill or in the merge lane on the highway.
    

And the wonder of it all -- there are fewer than 500 road fatalities a year!