It’s a matter of straight

Many moons ago, when I was a young’un of 13 or so, my mother took me to her hairdresser (a lovely lady who we called “Aunt” Monica) and had my hair relaxed.  I have always had thick, coarse, long, CURLY hair, and it was beyond control for everyone except my grandmother, who would roll it into these Victorian sausage curls every afternoon for tea, and have them in long smooth plaits the rest of the time.  Anyway, as a teen, it was decided that I should be able to look after my own hair, so Aunt Monica used straightener and it suddenly became like my Indian friends’ – long, STRAIGHT and tangle free.  For years after I went religiously to the hairdresser to have my curls uncurled, I would sometimes sleep with rollers in my hair to maintain some style  (NEVER AGAIN!!).  Even when I cut it short, still it went through the relaxer process.  In this time, my hair often looked and felt brittle, it dropped, my scalp was dry and itchy, and I spent lot$$ on hair products. 

Then a few years ago, I started seeing a new hairdresser (because my previous one had moved to New York, something about new boyfriend, life, blah blah) and the first day that I went to him, he said “You should stop using the defrissage, your hair is badly damaged.”  And just like that, we agreed that I would stop relaxing, provided that he managed the transition.

Having read articles on transitioning from relaxed hair to natural styles, I was terrified at the thought of cutting off my long hair and living with a TWA (teeny-weeny afro) because it just wasn’t my style.  Fou didn’t do that.  He found a style that allowed my hair to stay at a length we liked, then we had a grand cutting ceremony, and I’ve never looked back.

All that to say that my decision to stop relaxing was based on a desire to have healthy hair and not have to deal with brittle, straw-like hair and dry scalp.  My hair is kept now shoulder length, and it’s completely chemical free (we also stopped colouring when I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago.)  I’ve handed over management of my hair to Fouad, and I’m perfectly happy with that (so too are many of my friends, who also frequent his salon).  Most days, I have blow-dried straight hair, and on weekends, I have unruly curls which are soft, bouncy and healthy.  No more dry scalp, no more brittle hair, and as a bonus, I use fewer hair products.

I’m not about to start a campaign against relaxed hair styles. I’m also not going to sneer at the people who spend hours perfecting their hair before leaving the house.  It would, though, be really sweet to open a magazine and see someone with hair like mine without it being a big deal.