Warming up

It’s a hazy, warm day today, starting to get a little humid.  It feels a little like the smoke is returning as the air is a bit acrid.  Might be just smog, or my imagination, as the news hasn’t mentioned anything about this yet; plus there’s ongoing construction in the area, so that adds to the dust and mess.  Jerry is alternating between being hyperactive and being a cuddler.  He’s been bouncing around, tossing his toy, attacking Don (thankfully not me!) and trying to climb on everything then jumping on my lap to lie back and insist on being petted.  He puts his little leg up to pat my hand back if I stop rubbing him, and he licks my hand when I’m “good”  Silly puppy.  Don ordered some club sandwiches and I ate half of one; it was so good to actually taste food!  He finished the other half, plus his own, so he’s clearly got a healthy appetite.  His sleep is also much better, which is great, so he’s a little more alert during the day.  I on the other hand, fall asleep on myself without warning in the afternoon.  Great time to not watch murder mysteries or anything requiring attention!

My care coordinator had approved an extra 2 hours of support worker time for me, so I called the agency and asked for my regular worker to be given those.  They called me this afternoon to say that it was ok and she will be here 4 days a week, with one day being an extra long shift so we can do things like cook or prep meals and so on.  That’s going to be a MASSIVE help to me.  The new shifts start on Monday, so that’s just awesome.  It does mean that I’ll have to plan a little more around her time, but I’m happy to have her to help.  I’m now just waiting on getting a physiotherapist assigned and a date for the ultrasound appointment; I’ll call to follow up during the week if I hear nothing by Monday.  Once more, I’m thankful for the supports that I get from the medical system.  I know that there are all sorts of dreadful problems in place, and things are getting worse in far too many areas, but I hold on to optimism.

I’m rereading The Screwtape Letters, a book I first read as a teen and which I haven’t revisited fully since then.  It’s by C. S. Lewis, and it’s a series of letters from an elder demon (Screwtape) to his nephew (Wormwood) who has his first “case” of trying to lead a human off the ‘straight and narrow’ into the clutches of hell.  Screwtape has several centuries experience of tempting humans successfully into the houses of “Our Father Below” (Satan) and provides a lot of advice on trying to confound “The Enemy” (God)  He makes the very effective point that real evil is not the splashy, ominous thing we’d like it to be, but it is actions that go unnoticed and little, simple steps that cause us to turn away from good.  I remember that striking me way back when, and it’s resonating again now.  We think of fighting evil as needing to do heroic and brave, but in many cases it’s just needing to do good.  We have clear guidelines on what it means to do the right thing, but all too often they mean things like being inconvenienced or caring for others who are “not like us.”  

I’m not going to preach nor will I harp on this too long.  It did make me think quite a bit about how easy it is to hide evil behind allegedly “good intentions.”  I’d ask that you consider whether you’re truly being kind or pretending to do good.  As a quick tip, anything that promotes or causes harm, hatred or attacks others is no bueno.  Death threats?  Bad.  Attacking people for things they can’t control?  Very Bad.  Encouraging hatred against entire groups?  Really dreadful.  If you do any of those, stop.  You’ve just jumped away from paradise into the place where the worm doesn’t sleep.  And no amount of quoting scripture will save you.

All right, it’s chemo meds time; the boys are both sawing logs on the sofa.  Good night!