Another manic Monday

Not manic, but it’s a cool lyric, and it is Monday after all.  Today was another cold, although mostly sunny day, and my blankets are assuming my shape!  Jerry had a reasonably quiet day and did his usual attempts to arrange my legs and stretch out on me.  Silly boy… he’s chewing on his toy bone and as long as he doesn’t throw it on my toes, that’s good.  Don was in a pretty decent mood, and is planning to make some French fries for dinner.  My support worker peeled and cut them, so he’ll be cooking them.  The Grey Cup was last night, so that’s one fewer sport taking up TV time for the moment, although hockey is almost a 24-hour obsession!

I’m happy to report again that I was hungry yesterday and today.  Last night, in fact, I woke up at midnight feeling very empty, so I got up and made some cheese and crackers before going back to bed.  The downside was that I didn’t fall back to sleep until 4am, and I feel glassy and doped up today and inclined to doze off without warning.  Let’s see if that works when I climb into bed, or if I’m so tired that I don’t actually sleep for a bit… hopefully not tomorrow in the middle of my review meeting!  My nurse made her weekly visit, and changed my paddings; she recommended that I wear socks over the heel padding to help keep that in place, so my feet feel a little better.  If anyone has suggestions for a really good body moisturizer that’s not too scented, oily, absorbs quickly and stops skin from feeling like sandpaper, I’d love to hear them.  I’ve been using my usual coconut oil, and several lotions but none seem to help.  Ideas, please!

I had to explain to some people recently about my state of health.  I’m often asked things like, “so why don’t you do XXX?” Or “are you going to go to <event>?”  One of my cousins asked why I didn’t just drive to Toronto for a weekend, since I’m home all the time; another friend asked when I’m planning to go to the Caribbean, and it’s frustrating to me to have to recap what seems to be repetitive material.  Then I realized (when one of them said the usual, “Oh, you look so healthy!  There’s nothing wrong with you!”) that the photos that I’ve posted of myself outdoors are carefully staged to conceal some of my conceits… so I don’t post my walking aide, for instance; or I’ll post a headshot after I’ve applied makeup or something like that.  I had to explain that I have challenges walking, and while I’m not wheelchair bound, I certainly can’t manage to walk an airport terminal to get a flight, nor can I join in a walk around the Hill or the Market.  It would be too strenuous and then painful to accomplish — granted, I’m likely to push myself beyond my comfort zone to join in the fun, but it’s not sustainable.  I was asked why I didn’t go to a dance, as nobody’s seen me partying in years; asked why I didn’t just take a quick walk over… etc.  It’s stressful and I’m embarrassed to have to keep saying how I’m not in the peak of health.  I could interpret it that I’m missed, and they mean to be kind, but sometimes… 

Sorry for that rant.  I am grateful that I’m able to do the things I can, and I do my best to maintain a level of normalcy, but there are so many challenges to do that… I like walking over to this pub that’s at the end of the next block, but it’s at the edge of my capacity.  I’d love to be able to do more, but… I don’t mean to whine, but I’d like it if people thought for a few seconds before asking some things.  

I’m going to find something to eat — I’m getting hungry 🤤 isn’t that great?  The boys are in a heap on the sofa, so I’ll tiptoe quietly around to not arouse the little monster.  Good night!