Tense

They said that it was a warm, mild day today.  It was cold.  Less cold than a couple of days ago, but still too chilly to go outside without a coat!  I’m going to gripe about the chill for a while, just saying… because like C. S. Lewis, I’m getting too old for “wintry weather”!  And yes, I know that I’m in the wrong country for that!  I’ll probably adjust better later on, but at the moment, I would prefer that it be above 10C during the day; it can drop at night when I’m wrapped in my (faux) fur blanket with thick socks.  Jerry, as usual, spent as much time as he could on my lap today, lying on his back so I could pet his tummy.  When the pharmacy dropped off Don’s meds, he went off like a little alarm, and refused to be quiet!  Don was happily watching the Ottawa junior team playing today which held a “school day” where a number of primary schools filled the arena and the children screamed their heads off with excitement— although Ottawa lost 5-1 and it was obvious that they couldn’t recover.  Some schools started to leave before the end.  I got a photo from Tobago of where the family is staying right now, and thought I’d share the warmth and colour with you.

I have to confess something.  My regular quarterly CT scan is tomorrow morning, and as a result I’m starting to feel quite a bit of anxiety.  It happens with every scan, and lasts until my doctor says that things are going according to plan… in the interim, though, I’m flipping between reasonable calm and mindless panic.  Please excuse me if I ramble more in the next little while.  My support worker came today while I was in the middle of some serious “digestive distress” and was weak and shaking from the whole horrible experience.  She will be back tomorrow — rescheduling today — and we’ll cook.  I had planned for us to do a few things so I’d have a fridge full over the weekend, but I was in no state to do anything today, so we’ll have food tomorrow; after my scan.  

I had a video chat with the small people today in Tobago just as they were finishing lunch.  My niece was very excited to tell me that she went swimming by herself in the sea, and in the pool, and she went for a walk, and she didn’t run in the road because “Auntie Sonja doesn’t run.”  Apparently I’m her excuse for anything she doesn’t want to do or to disagree with what her parents say.  I’m amused, but I reinforce her parents’ instructions, because I don’t want to create a rebel too early.  My nephew just smiled his angelic (he’s got the most adorable smile; it’s absolutely mesmerizing) smile at me and said that he misses me; Auntie lives as a little puddle of “awww” for these things!  They were fascinated to see a live, loose chicken, and coconuts growing on a palm tree.  It’s awesome to see them learning new things, and watching their faces as they’re exposed to new things.  It’s wonderful, and I’m thrilled to see that.  No, I couldn’t be a kindergarten teacher, but I do love watching them develop.

So I’m reminded that Christmas is fewer than 50 days away.  My sister has already decorated the house — she’s always started November 1 for years, and my elder niece enthusiastically participates.  It’ll be another different celebration this year with one fewer person there.  I’d lost a lot of my Christmas joy after my Aunt Margaret died when I was almost 13, and the rest when my grandmother died 29 years ago.  They were the ones who made the season.  I loved, and still love, the traditions that we established, and I honestly miss our family meals, which came to mean Christmas to me.  I don’t remember us being buried in piles of expensive gifts; we each got 1, maybe 2, small to medium gifts, plus the tokens from school friends, but we had the fun of knowing that presents were hidden in “secret” places; we’d help decorate the tree and would help with making special dishes.  That’s what I miss the most.  

Jerry is trying to get Don to throw his toy around, but he just ate, so that’s not something we encourage as he tends to be over excited.  He’s play growling and barking at him, then coming to me to get help… it’s not happening LOL  That’s about it for tonight; I’m going in search of dinner, and then off to bed because I’ve got an early appointment.  Good night!