LTNS

I’m again bald.  My hair had been dropping for a while, so my personal care worker shaved it.  I’m torn between feeling sad and relieved, but I’m trying to remain optimistic as we go through this.  There are a few moments where things are not as I’d expect, but on balance, I’m ok.  My palliative care doctor said that I was recovering a little faster than expected, which is a good sign.  I’ll meet my oncologist tomorrow and we’ll discuss plans.  Confessing some nerves, but they will have to be handled over the next few days.  My boys are, as always, awesome and caring.  Somehow, there’s ice cream bars in the freezer…

My list of books to read — both real and virtual — is not getting any shorter.  I don’t think that I’ll have any real chance of finishing them before I’m 500.  In the hospital I met one employee who shares my enjoyment of epic fantasy and Star Trek (we discussed ST in detail, then exchanged opinions and titles of epic fantasy novels and movies.)  He also enjoyed Dune and suggested a few new books for me to read once I make a dent in my book list.  One of the nurses really liked science fiction, and we had a long discussion on the Ender series, which took some intriguing twists.  I need several extra pairs of eyes and hands to be able to progress more quickly!  I still somewhat envy the people who make plans for how they’ll structure their reading lists, and do things like learn new languages to better appreciate a book… the closest I’ve come is to read a text in the original French or Spanish… But learning, say, ancient Hebrew or Latin to be able to read some classics is a bridge too far, IMHO.  I should learn Russian and read at least one classic, because my current opinion, based on the Russian books I’ve read, is that life is hard, winter is long, happiness is not only fleeting, but it’s a lie, and death is often too long in coming.  Briefly, it’s remarkably depressing.  Surprising, because their fairy tales are beautiful, charming and entrancing, which should mean more happy literature.  Maybe I just haven’t found it yet.

OK, I’m going to sleep now.  I was awake and out of bed REALLY early this morning, and I feel a little drained.  Sleep well, my peeps, and may you have stardust sprinkled in your eyes for happy dreams.  Good night!