End of summer

Summer is hanging on by a nail… it’s another mild, comfortable and mostly sunny day with a light breeze.  Just lovely.  I’m feeling a little guilty that I’m beginning to suffer cabin fever, and I want to go out and do some stuff that does not involve hospitals, doctors or necessary errands.  It would be fun to do something unscheduled, don’t you agree?  I’d love that, even for a short while; I’ll have to spend a day in bed after, but it’s all good.  I’m always being told “don’t overdo it,” but why shouldn’t I sometimes?  At the moment, there is a small dog who is toy hunting and trying to find space on my lap along with the iPad, he’s very good at telepathy and making me (almost) feel guilty for not giving in to the melting brown eyes that he turns on me.  We’ve agreed that he’s not to be believed, especially when he complains about being neglected and unloved.  Don’s slightly better today, but still mostly under the weather.  I hope he begins to recover soon, it’s not pleasant seeing him like this when I can do nothing to help or alleviate his pain.  He was teasing me that I apparently can’t get enough of sport as I was watching a murder mystery revolving around a football game.  The game was indifferent, but the mystery was juicy!

I slept pretty well last night after all.  There was the usual falling fast asleep after sunrise, but I was mostly asleep during the night with a few moments to sip some water.  I had a couple of larger meals today, so I’m also pleased that things seem to be improving on that end too.  I’m also pleased to advise that my niece has returned to kindergarten and my nephew is “bouncing off the walls at home” so things are on an uptick.

This was me, 6 years ago when we were visiting my sister.  They sent it to me as a memory and I looked at how my weight and shape have changed in the last few years… I had a chat with one of our many “aunts” — friends of my parents who have been part of our lives since the beginning — lately.  She’s hilarious and adorable, and we love spending time with her, although she’s not very good at keeping in touch, but she’s such a delight that we forgive her.  She made a comment that’s been playing in my thoughts for a while.  Before she retired, she was a kindergarten teacher, and she’d more than once roped me in to telling stories to her classes.  I’m not particularly good when I’m outnumbered by children (more than 3:1, anyway) and definitely not when they’re all under the age of 5 and her classes were about 25 - 30 in size.  That’s all beside the point; what she said was, “I really loved spending time with those children; it’s wonderful to see how their little minds grow and develop and come up with some amazing ideas.  Unfortunately, I took it all too seriously then, and lost out on a lot of enjoyment.”  Taking your work too seriously?  That seemed odd.  Then she was talking about how much more enjoyable it is to have work with children and not try to make them hit particular milestones.  I then also realized that there were times when I took my own work far too seriously, often at the expense of my own enjoyment, or that of my family, or my health.  Looking back on my assorted projects, there were so many things that were enjoyable and worth celebrating, but I pushed them aside to hit milestones or do more.  I’m getting a moment to be less serious now, and I sometimes think it would have been nice if I’d taken a moment to “smell the roses” instead of being so focussed on a goal that I not only didn’t attain, but which I’ll never reach.  I don’t have many regrets, but one of them is that I didn’t take my own advice to “live in the moment.”  

Right, I seem to have hit my limit for time on the iPad, as the little dog is butting my leg and growling at me.  I’ll therefore go get something to eat and throw the toy a few times.  I’m watching something on the PVR, but I’ll turn it over to sports and head in to get some sleep.  Good night.