Life’s little challenges

 

  I have noticed that people don’t always seem to understand the difference between a problem and an inconvenience.  So many people go through their days recounting the many “problems” that they faced, seeking some validation of a struggle.  Most of the time they aren’t dealing with problems, but with inconveniences.

Why, you ask, do I care?  Well, it’s because in the middle of the “problem facers” are people who are dealing with real problems, and they often don’t say too much about them.  They’re being strong and silent, supporting others around them.  Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if we could do less griping and more encouraging?

So what’s the difference?  An inconvenience is a difficulty caused to your comfort or personal desires.  A problem is a situation that is harmful or dangerous and needs to be handled.  Most of the things we encounter daily are inconveniences.  Although, to listen to some people, they are life-altering problems.  For example, finding out that your favourite flavour of ice cream is sold out – bothersome.  Your coffee shop is out of soy-almond-lactose-free “milk” – trendy inconvenience.  No wi-fi at the airport – drawback (also a reality in many parts of the world.)  Airline entertainment system not working? – irritating.  The nursery doesn’t have the colour flowers that you want – fuss.  Spilled coffee on your new white blouse just before an important meeting – annoying.  None of these will cause you actual harm or otherwise interfere with your day (unless you burn yourself with the coffee along with spoiling a new blouse!)

In contrast, if in your day you were given the news that your biopsy came back with a malignancy – problem.  Your job is ending – chaos (unless you were the one who decided to change.)  You have 6 months to live – literally world-ending.  The engines on your plane cut out mid-flight – disaster.  The car speeding through the red light slams into you – possibly fatal.

You could argue that these are all merely shades along a spectrum.   You’d be right.  But at the same time, how you deal with these challenges makes a huge difference in your perception of your day, and in how you interact with others.

So, consider the effect that your recitation might have on others.  If you frequently have complaints about the service at your regular coffee shop, or the ravioli at that Italian restaurant aren’t even, or (true story!) your tropical vacation is “ruined” because of the incessant pounding of waves on the shore, then it’s likely that you are simply a whiner who magnifies everything into a personal grievance.  It’s also very likely that people would prefer to avoid your company.

Instead of complaining, look for something good to say.  You waited 10 minutes for a sandwich to be made?  Great!  It’s freshly prepared.  Your favourite ice cream is out?  Time to try a new flavour.  Someone’s griping about all the minor irritations that have ruined their day?  Hey, it’s not your day that’s been ruined, and when they’re done, you’re free of that negativity.

If all else fails, call on your trusted friend, go for a coffee (or tea, or hot chocolate) and have a laugh.  The world is always better after a good laugh!